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List of The Colbert Report episodes (2013)

This is a list of episodes for The Colbert Report in 2013.

The Colbert Report 2013 episodes
Country of origin United States
No. of episodes 157
Release
Original network Comedy Central
Season chronology
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2012 episodes
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2014 episodes
List of The Colbert Report episodes

Contents

2013Edit

JanuaryEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,131TBAJimmy WalesIt's 2013. Suck it Mayans.January 79039
Republicans agree to tax the wealthy, a coin solves the debt ceiling debate, Bill O'Reilly insults Asians, and Jimmy Wales shares Wikipedia's next steps.
1,132TBAChris KluweJimmy Kimmel starts his new 11:35 time slot tonight, but since he's my direct competition I refuse to mention him.January 89040
The Forever Stamp skyrockets in value, blood transfusions restore youthfulness, the Senate questions Zero Dark Thirty, and Chris Kluwe defends same-sex marriage.
1,133TBANeil Shubin2012 was the hottest year on record. We think, the record book burst into flames.January 99041
Idaho builds a firearms village, the NRA solves gun violence with more guns, wheat addiction spirals, and Neil Shubin explores humans' shared history with rocks.
1,134TBABen GibbardN/AJanuary 109042
A man makes love to a couch, Obama flaunts his testosterone-filled Cabinet, Kevin Garnett hassles Carmelo Anthony, and musician Ben Gibbard grows up.
1,135TBAPiers MorganN/AJanuary 149043
Joe Biden develops gun law recommendations, Ted Nugent references Rosa Parks, a nonprofit disputes Vitaminwater, and Piers Morgan talks gun control.
1,136TBAJared DiamondA shipment of 18 human heads showed up at O'Hare International Airport, when I clearly said I was flying to Omaha.January 159044
Lance Armstrong spends hours with Oprah, Stephen runs Extra Special Report on Florida's mystery monkey, and Jared Diamond examines traditional New Guinea Culture.
1,137TBATom BrokawA Utah smoothie shop is charging an extra fee to liberal customers. That is really gotta sting for Utah's liberal.January 169045
HSBC launders cartel money, Matt Taibbi chews out big banks, Pat Robertson educates "slatternly" wives, and Tom Brokaw tells the plight of second presidential terms.
1,138"United We Standoff"Akhil Reed AmarN/AJanuary 179046
Subway cons consumers, President Obama tightens gun control, Megyn Kelly reveals her porn name, and Akhil Reed Amar shares his book, "America's Unwritten Constitution."
1,139TBATa-Nehisi CoatesAtari has filed for bankruptcy today, but they're thinking about just taking it out, blowin' on it and seeing if it'll work again.January 219047
Obama launches the Presidential Pride Parade, Kate Middleton contaminates America, and Ta-Nehisi Coates reflects on Obama's second inauguration.
1,140"Win, Lose, or Redraw"Kathryn BigelowN/AJanuary 229048
Obama obscures America's hopelessness in his speech, Republicans pursue advanced redistricting, Dustin Hoffman shrinks his cast, and Kathryn Bigelow talks Zero Dark Thirty.
1,141TBASally FieldN/AJanuary 239049
Beyonce-Gate riles the media, Ayn Rand admirers find love, Virginia Republicans surprise Democrats with new districts, and Sally Field describes her character in Lincoln.
1,142TBATavi GevinsonN/AJanuary 249050
France sends troops into Mali, Edward Berenson outlines French martial history, Hillary Clinton answers questions about Benghazi, and Tavi Gevinson chats about "Rookie."
1,143"The New Abnormal"Michael ShellenbergerAxe Body Spray has announced a contest that will send the winner to space, still not far enough to get away from the smell.January 289051
The TSA abandons nude scanners, Australia and conservatives cope with climate change, North Korea goes after America, and Michael Shellenberger debates energy sources.
1,144TBAGeorge SaundersEating lunch earlier can help you lose weight. That's why I always eat tomorrow's lunch tonight.January 299052
Iran launches a monkey into space, states work to nullify Obama's gun grab, Cliff Sloan explains supreme law, Gitmo stays open, and George Saunders boasts about short stories.
1,145"It Gets Worse"Bill GatesThe truth will set you free. So convicted murderers, turn off your TVs now.January 309053
Gay men stress less, Paul Clement defends DOMA in court, the KKK drops its racist message, and Bill Gates shares global health updates.
1,146TBAMatthew GuerrieriN/AJanuary 319054
Super Bowl ads release teasers, Gatorade does away with BVO, a clever crow uses utensils, and Matthew Guerrieri explores Beethoven's cultural impact.

FebruaryEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,147TBASonia SotomayorFidel Castro made his first public appearance in three years, then he saw his shadow, so fifty more years of communism!February 49055
A blackout stalls the Super Bowl, Senate members tackle immigration reform, Barack Obama claims to enjoy skeet shooting, and Justice Sonia Sotomayor details My Beloved World.
1,148TBAJulie AndrewsA math professor has discovered a new seventeen million digit prime number. His other discovery, he is very lonely.February 59056
A parking lot covers up royal remains, CBS brings unemployment to reality TV, Californians thank a hatchet-armed hitchhiker, and Julie Andrews responds to kids' book critics.
1,149TBALawrence WrightHome Depot is going to hire 80,000 new workers for the spring. You know where they can find some cheap labor? In their parking lot.February 69057
Lobbyists try to save the penny, Elizabeth Colbert-Busch takes on 16 GOP candidates, and Lawrence Wright confirms abuse within the Church of Scientology.
1,150TBABenh ZeitlinA new poll says that Fox News is both the most trusted name and the least trusted name in the news. See? They do report both sides of the story.February 79058
A snowstorm slams the Northeast, Senator Stacey Campfield homes in on kids' sexuality, Facebook promotes hookups, and Benh Zeitlin explores Louisiana's Bathtub country.
1,151TBAGarry WillsN/AFebruary 119059
The Bush family gets hacked, Pope Benedict becomes the first pope to resign in 717 years, Father Jim Martin details papal appointment, and Garry Wills talks priests.
1,152TBARoger HodgeTed Nugent will attend The State of The Union tonight, or as deer call it, the greatest night of their lives.February 129060
The GOP holds a conference to self-reflect, Karl Rove targets Tea Party movement, Steven Seagal trains volunteer gun posses, and Roger Hodge touts Southern literature.
1,153TBADave GrohlN/AFebruary 139061
President Obama focuses on the middle class and infrastructure, Marco Rubio suffers from dry mouth, and Dave Grohl relives rock 'n' roll history.
1,154TBAGavin NewsomN/AFebruary 149062
A fertility feast leads to Valentine's Day, the Obama administration targets S&P, and "Citizenville" author Gavin Newsom brings government into the digital age.
1,155TBAEmily BazelonN/AFebruary 199063
A meteor streaks over Russia, Detroit gleans a libertarian investor, Obama goes golfing with Tiger Woods, and Emily Bazelon explores the culture of bullying.
1,156TBADavid GoldhillN/AFebruary 209064
The UK responds to a horse meat scare, Alexi Lalas assesses soccer match fixing, Norway celebrates firewood, and David Goldhill critiques health insurance.
1,157TBALil BuckN/AFebruary 219065
A rumor links Chuck Hagel to a made-up Islamic group, for-profit incarceration teams up with football, MTV cons BET Twitter fans, and Lil Buck explains jookin'.
1,158"Silent But Deadly"Simon GarfieldCuban president Raúl Castro says he'll retire in five years. Don't believe him Conan.February 259066
Michelle Obama crashes the Oscars, the CDC researches gun violence, sex scandal gossip plagues the Vatican, and Simon Garfield endorses handmade maps.
1,159TBAMichio KakuIceland is considering a ban on internet porn. Now... there is nothing to do in Iceland.February 269067
Pope Benedict shares the Vatican with his successor, Jeremy Bird disrupts the natural order in Texas, Al Qaeda evades drone attacks, and Michio Kaku tracks asteroid paths.
1,160TBAPaola AntonelliIt's Chuck Hagel's first day as Secretary of Defense. Tomorrow we start the two-month confirmation process for his second day of work.February 279068
Stephen endorses Halls cough drops, the government bugs Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's trial, John Kerry makes a case for dimwits, and Paola Antonelli shares the future of design.
1,161TBAJon FavreauGirls Gone Wild has filed for bankruptcy. Maybe those girls should have Gone Business School.February 289069
Pat Robertson confirms that demons occupy garments, shops sell Pope Benedict XVI memorabilia, federal spending cuts loom, and Jon Favreau describes speech writing methods.

MarchEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,162TBAKirk BloodsworthN/AMarch 49070
Obama confuses Star Wars with Star Trek, Stephen investigates scallop gonad research, Texas reconsiders gun training, and Kirk Bloodsworth opposes the death penalty.
1,163TBAJames FrancoQueen Elizabeth has been released from the hospital for what they say is a stomach bug. Either that, or there's another Royal Baby on the way.March 59071
Hugo Chavez passes away, Obama travels to Israel, Michael Oren discusses Iran, married couples retreat to Mars, and James Franco talks "Oz."
1,164TBABrendan O'ConnellN/AMarch 69072
The media introduces "Snowquester," Alabama calls the Voting Rights Act into question, Michael Bloomberg bans soda deliveries, and Wal-Mart inspires Brendan O'Connell.
1,165TBAJohn SextonN/AMarch 79073
Rand Paul talks for 13 hours, North Korea creates an ominous music video, The Bachelor incites emotionally charged staring, and John Sexton compares baseball and religion.
1,166TBAJunot DiazN/AMarch 259074
The Vatican welcomes Pope Francis, Roma Downey stars in The Bible, Trevor Potter memorializes Ham Rove, and Junot Diaz shares the Freedom University project.
1,167"Narcicitizenship"Eric TopolN/AMarch 269075
Republicans contemplate a Celebrity Task Force, Senator Rob Portman flip-flops on gay marriage, and Eric Topol shares his book, "The Creative Destruction of Medicine."
1,168TBACarl Edgar Blake IIJon Hamm is sick of everyone talking about his giant penis, so media... you can start talking about mine.March 279076
Papa Bear reassess gay marriage, scientists study Facebook "Likes," Tennessee lawmakers mistrust a mop sink, and Carl Edgar Blake II shows off his pigs.
1,169TBARobert LustigN/AMarch 289077
Same-sex marriage divides the Supreme Court, Emily Bazelon explains Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, and Robert Lustig warns against sugar.

AprilEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,170TBASigourney WeaverThis is NOT The Colbert Report... April Fools... This is The Colbert Report.April 19078
Google pays tribute to Cesar Chavez, Pope Francis breaks a New Testament tradition, Tennessee uses a health care lottery, and Sigourney Weaver talks theater.
1,171TBAJim McGreeveyN/AApril 29079
Sue Everhart warns of gay marriage fraud, Victor Cha dissects North Korea's bomb threats, Florida plans to outlaw bongs, and Jim McGreevey advocates in-prison rehab.
1,172TBAA.C. GraylingN/AApril 39080
Mark Sanford runs against Elizabeth Colbert Busch, Louie Gohmert compares gun control to bestiality, the GOP surveys young people, and A.C. Grayling talks God and reason.
1,173TBAFrancis CollinsThe Queen of England just got a 7.5 million dollar raise. It was that or lose her to the Miami Heat.April 49081
An Exxon pipeline bursts in Arkansas, Jeremy Irons compares gay marriage to incest, and NIH Director Francis Collins explains Obama's BRAIN Initiative.
1,174TBABill ClintonN/AApril 89082
At the Clinton Global Initiative University Meeting, President Bill Clinton discusses foreign aid, poverty, TED Talks, Twitter and the Colbert Galactic Initiative.
1,175TBACharlie LeDuffScientists discovered a new tarantula that's the size of a human face. Correction, the size of a screaming human face.April 99083
Stephen attends the Clinton Global Initiative University Exchange, Exxon sweeps oil into storm drains, and Charlie LeDuff shares his book, "Detroit: An American Autopsy."
1,176TBAShane SmithN/AApril 109084
The Navy builds a laser missile, Senate Republicans give in to gun control, Anthony Weiner ponders the mayoral race, and VICE cofounder Shane Smith talks storytelling.
1,177TBACass SunsteinN/AApril 119085
NASA develops an asteroid lasso, Nick Gillespie talks about pot legalization, New York City targets filthy Times Square mascots, and Cass Sunstein slams the food pyramid.
1,178TBACaroline KennedyHere's what I know... These maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.April 169086
Terrorists attack the Boston Marathon, Canada manufactures Sexcereal, the Rollie Eggmaster cooks up gelatinous egg rods, and Caroline Kennedy recites poetry with Stephen.
1,179TBAAlan CummingN/AApril 179087
The media dreams up Boston bombing suspects, Adam Davidson explains Bitcoin, Brad Paisley makes a sucky song about racism, and Alan Cumming tackles an almost one-man play.
1,180TBARichard EngelN/AApril 189088
The New York Post misidentifies Boston bombing suspects, Stephen debuts the Bucket, the Senate opposes gun background checks, and Richard Engel describes Syrian militias.
1,181TBAMichael PollanToday is the 43rd Annual Earth Day. At that age, no wonder it's ice caps are receding.April 229089
The Boston manhunt ends, Canadian police expose an Al Qaeda plot, America's infrastructure earns a bad grade, and Michael Pollan describes the four ways of cooking.
1,182TBAEric SchmidtN/AApril 239090
Chris Christie is full of[clarification needed] Scooby-Doo-doo, Thomas Herndon takes down Reinhart and Rogoff, and Google's Eric Schmidt talks digital identities.
1,183TBADanica PatrickN/AApril 249091
Twitter hackers trigger a market crash, Bill Clinton picks a dignified Twitter name, the Mars rover draws a penis in the sand, and NASCAR's Danica Patrick manages her rage.
1,184TBAGene RobinsonTBAApril 259092
Stephen starts an "O" Book Club, Matt Cartwright speaks Spanish, Fox & Friends gets the word out about a guy singing like a canary, and Gene Robinson advocates gay rights.
1,185"We Shall Undermine"Iggy And The StoogesA Wisconsin woman called police after seeing kittens having sex in her yard. Quick! No one show her the internet.April 299093
Jason Collins comes out as gay, New Zealand sanctions same-sex marriage, conservatives get defensive, criminals turn to Yelp, and Iggy Pop performs shirtless.
1,186"Medical Leave"Evan Spiegel & Bobby MurphyA new study says fish use sign language. Maybe now I can figure out what all that flopping around on the bottom of my boat means.April 309094
Congress disregards the Army's wishes, Iowa cracks illegal immigration, Budweiser encourages Facebook friendships, and Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy make photos disappear.

MayEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,187"N.R.A-vana"Macklemore & Ryan LewisN/AMay 19095
A Newtown victim's daughter confronts Senator Kelly Ayotte, pro-gun senators lose voters' support, and Macklemore and Ryan Lewis share their album, The Heist.
1,188TBABen KingsleyA man arrested for shooting at the White House says he was upset over US marijuana laws. Man, if only there was some way to mellow that guy out.May 29096
The Feds identify three accomplices in the Boston bombings, President Obama addresses the Gitmo hunger strike, and Sir Ben Kingsley chats about Iron Man 3.
1,189TBARobert CaroChris Christie killed a spider. It picked the wrong guy to steal curds and whey from.May 69097
Stephen plugs cOlbert's Book Club, conspiracy theorists explain the government's ammo purchases, dogs ride the Mary Jane train, and Robert Caro scares Republicans.
1,190TBADouglas RushkoffN/AMay 79098
Fox News prepares for the Benghazi whistleblowers, Rep. Donna Edwards deals with a senile senior, teens amp up their promposals, and Douglas Rushkoff pinpoints the present.
1,191TBARichard BesserDeadly giant snails have been found in Houston. Quick! Saunter for your lives!May 89099
Stephen's sister loses her run for Congress, Republicans spite Obama, parents forego diapers, and Richard Besser shares his book, "Tell Me the Truth, Doctor."
1,192TBABaz LuhrmannN/AMay 99100
Carey Mulligan divulges a dark secret, Jennifer Egan discusses The Great Gatsby's place in American letters, and Baz Luhrmann pays homage to F. Scott Fitzgerald.
1,193TBAJessica Buchanan & Erik LandemalmN/AMay 139101
The Obama administration lies about Benghazi talking points, the IRS inspects Tea Party groups, and Jessica Buchanan and Erik Landemalm share their book, "Impossible Odds."
1,194TBADan BrownBusiness networking site LinkedIn is cracking down on prostitutes. Now if they'd just crack down on those people who keep inviting me to join LinkedIn.May 149102
The House tries to repeal Obamacare again, an immigration study slams Hispanics, Maxim honors Miley Cyrus, and Dan Brown takes inspiration from Dante.
1,195TBACyndi LauperN/AMay 159103
The UN describes bugs as "mini-livestock," Congresswoman Gwen Moore rides shotgun, and Cyndi Lauper outlines her Broadway musical, "Kinky Boots".
1,196TBADaniel LiebermanA prison inmate is suing Taco Bell for stealing his Doritos Taco Shell idea. And also for his Doritos Taco Shiv idea.May 169104
Congress peppers and grills Eric Holder, China seeks peace in the Middle East, a nonprofit provides access to printable guns, and Daniel Lieberman endorses toe shoes.
1,197TBADavid SassoonN/AMay 209105
ABC's Jonathan Karl lies about the Benghazi scandal, Stephen applies for Tea Party tax exemption, and David Sassoon from InsideClimate News shares his e-book, "The Dilbit Disaster."
1,198TBANoah FeldmanA London auction house is offering a rare Christmas card signed by Adolf Hitler. Even more rare... His Happy Hanukkah card.May 219106
Scientists solve the Irish potato famine mystery, pot boosts metabolism, Rep. Jeff Duncan plans to ban the census, and Noah Feldman describes the Cool War with China.
1,199TBAThe NationalA Minnesota man found a comic book inside the walls of his house that's worth over $100,000, but be careful, its only valuable if you keep it in its original wall.May 229107
Lois Lerner won't spill the IRS scandal beans, Mitch McConnell endorses hemp, PBS appeases David H. Koch regarding Citizen Koch, and The National shares their album "Trouble Will Find Me."
1,200TBAChristopher ChiversN/AMay 239108
Barack Obama addresses his usage of drones, Andrew Bacevich thinks war is bad, Pope Francis embraces atheists, and C.J. Chivers reports on Syrian rebels.

JuneEdit

Taping of June 13, 17 and 18 was cancelled due to the death of Colbert's mother.[1]

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,201TBAJohn DingellN/AJune 39109
Mark Pocan tempts Stephen with divorce, precision-guided guns promote skill-free killing, and John Dingell wants Congress to learn how to compromise.
1,202TBAAlex GibneyN/AJune 49110
The Report pays tribute to Michele Bachmann, NASA researches printable food, the IRS invests in line dancing, and Alex Gibney explores WikiLeaks.
1,203TBAJonathan AlterThe TSA has dropped its plans to allow golf clubs on airplanes. Great, now the putting green in First Class is useless.June 59111
Superman gets a makeover, Laurie Garrett reviews Monsanto's wheat incident, the Chicago Sun-Times scraps photojournalism, and Jonathan Alter dissects the 2012 election.
1,204TBAT-Bone Burnett, Stephen King, & John MellencampN/AJune 69112
The Obama administration snoops on Verizon customers, Stephen becomes a spy, and Stephen King writes a musical with John Mellencamp and T Bone Burnett.
1,205TBADan SavageN/AJune 109113
The NSA whistle-blower explains himself, violent protests break out in Turkey, missile launch officers dislike their jobs, and Dan Savage criticizes DOMA.
1,206TBADaniel BergnerMayor Mike Bloomberg unveiled a twenty billion dollar plan to fight climate change. It will limit the oceans to no more than 16 ozs.June 119114
Obama commits cyber snooping, dishwashers get surveillance chips, the TSA targets Chewbacca, and Daniel Bergner reveals what turns women on.
1,207TBAPaul McCartneyN/AJune 129115
The NSA builds a data compound, Paul McCartney describes his music career with The Beatles and Wings, and Michael Bloomberg's bike share "begrimes" New York.
1,208TBAThe Postal ServiceTBAJune 199116
Stephen honors his late mother, Cap'n Crunch lies about his rank, house flipping makes a comeback, and the Postal Service discusses their electronic music.
1,209TBAJoss WhedonA new study says 70% of Americans are on prescription drugs. If you find that number depressing, talk to your doctor about Cymbalta.June 209117
Iran replaces outgoing President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rep. Steve King opposes chicken cage laws, Nestle markets to higher-income women, and Joss Whedon talks Shakespeare.
1,210"Truthinews"Andrew SolomonN/AJune 249118
NSA leaker Edward Snowden goes missing, Darrell Issa probes the IRS, news becomes truthinews, the KKK engineers a laser, and Andrew Solomon defines "exceptional" children.
1,211TBAPeniel JosephItaly's Silvio Berlusconi was convicted of paying for sex with an underage prostitute, which means it could be months before he is re-elected Prime Minister.June 259119
The Supreme Court guts part of the Voting Rights Act, Brazilians protest government spending, and Peniel Joseph criticizes the Supreme Court's decision.
1,212TBABill MoyersScientists have found a way for paralyzed rats to regain the ability to urinate. Finally, a solution to the world's deficit of rat urine.June 269120
Gay marriage gets a legal boost, Emily Bazelon analyzes the Supreme Court's decisions, and Bill Moyers chronicles the slow death of the American middle class.
1,213TBAChuck SchumerN/AJune 279121
Mayor Michael Bloomberg declares war on the 4th of July, the Senate enacts immigration reform, and Senator Chuck Schumer talks tattoos and gang signs.

JulyEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,214TBAJeremy ScahillN/AJuly 159122
A Florida jury acquits George Zimmerman, Stephen inspects a SkyMiles scandal, Asiana Airlines sues KTVU over made-up pilot names, and Jeremy Scahill criticizes drone strikes.
1,215TBADavid KarpJ.K. Rowling announced that she secretly wrote a crime novel under the name Robert Galbraith. What a coincidence, I wrote a series of wizard books under the name J.K. Rowling.July 169123
Britain prepares for the royal baby, George Zimmerman protestors sing instead of riot, NPR critiques multitaskers, and David Karp promises not to police Tumblr.
1,216TBAJerry SeinfeldN/AJuly 179124
Rolling Stone features the Boston bombing suspect, Congress removes food stamps from the farm bill, and Jerry Seinfeld shares his series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.
1,217TBAJeff BridgesN/AJuly 189125
Edward Snowden seeks asylum in Russia, San Diego's mayor faces sexual harassment charges, Eliot Spitzer runs for NYC comptroller, and Jeff Bridges shares his film, R.I.P.D.
1,218TBAKjerstin GruysN/AJuly 229126
Kate Middleton delivers her baby, Geraldo Rivera tweets a naked selfie, fast food workers protest the minimum wage, and Kjerstin Gruys examines body image issues.
1,219"Color-bind"Kenneth GoldsmithN/AJuly 239127
The Prince of Wails is born, George Zimmerman helps a family in need, Barack Obama shares his experiences with racism and poet Kenneth Goldsmith revisits seven U.S. tragedies.
1,220TBAAnant AgarwalN/AJuly 249128
The royal couple name their baby George, Anthony Weiner apologizes for his latest sexts, Kanye West designs a blank t-shirt, and Anant Agarwal discusses his nonprofit, edX.
1,221TBAOlympia SnoweN/AJuly 259129
An MC crashes the royal birth, Detroit files for bankruptcy, Steve King incites Jorge Ramos, and Olympia Snowe shares her book, "Fighting For Common Ground."
1,222TBAThe LumineersChina is launching a 24-hour Panda-cam. Ohhh!!! I can't wait to see those majestic creatures assemble an iPad.July 299130
FreedomWorks burns fake Obama insurance cards, North Carolina allows concealed weapons in bars, and The Lumineers share their self-titled debut album.
1,223"Secrets & Laws"Atul GawandeCNN is offering dos & don'ts for summer time sex. First don't... watch CNN.July 309131
The North Pole becomes a lake, Tea Partiers criticize Mitch McConnell, lawmakers brainstorm tax reform in secret, and Atul Gawande shares his article, "Slow Ideas."
1,224TBAEmily MatcharSimon Cowell has reportedly impregnated his friend's wife. That is shocking! Simon Cowell has a friend?July 319132
Chelsea Manning is found not guilty, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have lunch, Chris Christie and Rand Paul feud, and Emily Matchar shares the "new domesticity."

AugustEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,225TBABryan CranstonScience can now grow teeth from stem cells found in urine. So, careful next time your dentist says open wide.August 19133
Russia protects Edward Snowden, Mayor Bob Filner blames San Diego for his sexual misconduct, Gitmo prisoners read erotic romance, and Bryan Cranston talks meth and Malcolm.
1,226TBAHugh LaurieN/AAugust 59134
The U.S. government warns of a looming terror threat somewhere, Alex Rodriguez gets suspended for doping, and Hugh Laurie shares his blues album, Didn't It Rain.
1,227TBARobin ThickeN/AAugust 69135
Daft Punk abandons StePhest Colbchella '013, Stephen angers his Hyundai sponsors, and Blurred Lines singer Robin Thicke saves Stephen's career.
1,228TBAAshton KutcherN/AAugust 79136
Online critics bash StePhest Colbchella '013, union activist Mary Kay Henry supports fast-food strikers, the SEC comes down on a trader, and Ashton Kutcher talks "Jobs."
1,229TBAColum McCannN/AAugust 89137
CNN's doctor switches his position on pot, Matt Damon comes to Stephen's rescue, Darrell Issa wants ocean waters named after Reagan, and Colum McCann talks TransAtlantic.
1,230TBASheldon WhitehouseN/AAugust 129138
The Today Show features twerking, Senator Rush Holt champions public education, and Senator Sheldon Whitehouse chats about his book, On Virtues.
1,231TBAJohn LewisN/AAugust 139139
Mayor Mike Bloomberg defends New York's stop-and-frisk, the TSA expands its duties, and Congressman John Lewis chats about his graphic novel, March.
1,232TBAKevin SpaceyIn Boston, mobster Whitey Bulger has been convicted on 31 counts. Here in New York, Tighty-Whitey Bulger continues his run for Mayor.August 149140
Russia's anti-gay laws affect Olympic athletes, Obama hires psychologists to "nudge" public opinion, and Kevin Spacey talks "House of Cards."
1,233"Gag Gift"Richard BrodheadN/AAugust 159141
A rodeo clown wears an Obama mask, fracking companies put gag orders on families, Obama talks NSA transparency, and Professor Richard Brodhead promotes the humanities.

SeptemberEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,234TBATimothy Cardinal DolanSunlight reflecting off a London skyscraper has been melting cars. That is shocking! There is sunlight in London?September 39142
Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad employs chemical weapons, The Daily Show gets Jon back, Rep. Dan Kildee promotes sugar beets, and Timothy Cardinal Dolan examines the papacy.
1,235TBAGary EnglandHappy Birthday to Google, which turned 15 today. Just three more years and they can turn the safe search off.September 49143
Barack Obama endorses military action in Syria, The New Yorker's Steve Coll unpacks the president's decision, and meteorologist Gary England talks twisters.
1,236TBAJohn PrineHappy Rosh Hashanah, which we all know is the Jewish holiday of... I have no idea, my writers all left early.September 59144
Ariel Castro commits suicide, kittens close down the NYC subway, Stephen assigns reading for Colbert's Book Club, and John Prine shares his folk album, "The Missing Years."
1,237TBABillie Jean KingN/ASeptember 99145
Americans oppose military action in Syria, Fox News dreams up "Super Reagan," Iowa grants gun permits to blind people, and Billie Jean King recalls the "Battle of the Sexes."
1,238TBAShane SalernoN/ASeptember 109146
JD Salinger releases "The Catcher in the Rye" in 1951, Tobias Wolff debates Salinger's short stories, and Shane Salerno co-authors Salinger's biography.
1,239TBASheryl CrowN/ASeptember 119147
New York City holds the mayoral primary, Syria agrees to surrender its chemical weapons, Rand Paul flip-flops, and Sheryl Crow discusses her album, "Feels Like Home."
1,240TBAPhilip MuddN/ASeptember 129148
The New York Times prints Vladimir Putin's op-ed on Syria, Rep. Jim McDermott defends gay rights, and Philip Mudd shares his book, "Takedown: Inside the Hunt for Al Qaeda."
1,241"The Guilted Age"Andrew BacevichNPR is cutting their staff by 10%, so enjoy this week's edition of... Wait...Wait... Don't fire me.September 169149
Stephen honors the Lehman Brothers, pundits criticize government "moochers," Miss America receives racist comments, and Andrew Bacevich shares his book, Breach of Trust.
1,242TBAArne DuncanA new study says 85% of users don't become addicted to meth. Unfortunately the same can't be said for viewers of Breaking Bad.September 179150
Billionaires get left behind, Kanye West performs for Kazakhstan's controversial leader, Cheerios cashes in on death, and Arne Duncan endorses early education.
1,243TBANicholson BakerN/ASeptember 189151
Andrew Sullivan supports U.N. intervention in Syria, conservatives attack gun violence in video games, and Nicholson Baker shares his book, "Traveling Sprinkler."
1,244TBAJack JohnsonN/ASeptember 199152
Michelle Obama promotes H2O, Republicans regulate Obamacare navigators, Jihawg Ammo makes bacon bullets, and Jack Johnson shares his album, "From Here to Now to You."
1,245TBAMetallicaN/ASeptember 249153
Jon Stewart congratulates Stephen on his Emmys, Pope Francis speaks out on Catholic teachings, and Metallica presents its film, "Metallica: Through the Never."
1,246TBAJoseph Gordon-LevittN/ASeptember 259154
Google cracks down on YouTube, Fox News assesses the "war on football," Ted Cruz gives a 21-hour anti-Obamacare speech, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt describes his film, "Don Jon."
1,247TBAChris FischerAn Australian flight was grounded because there was a snake on the plane. It's just like that Samuel L. Jackson movie, Django Unchained.September 269155
AmeriCone Dream shows up on "Breaking Bad," CNN's "Crossfire" encourages incoherent yelling, Rush Limbaugh writes for kids, and Chris Fischer talks sharks.
1,248TBAVince GilliganN/ASeptember 309156
Congress shuts down the government, Butterball appeases male cooks, and "Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan discusses the final season.

OctoberEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,249TBADaniel RadcliffeN/AOctober 19157
The government shuts down, Americans flood the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act website, anti-Obamacare groups target youth, and Daniel Radcliffe describes his film, "Kill Your Darlings."
1,250TBAChris MatthewsThe New York City Opera is closing. Well I say it isn't over until the Fat Lady doesn't sing.October 29158
Barack Obama meets with congressional leaders about the government "slimdown," Bill O'Reilly talks divine inspiration, and Chris Matthews compares Obama and Reagan.
1,251TBADavid FinkelN/AOctober 39159
Congressional leaders fail to compromise on the government shutdown, Stephen officiates a wedding, and David Finkel examines post-war trauma in "Thank You for Your Service."
1,252TBAJames SpithillN/AOctober 79160
Republicans hold Obama responsible for the government shutdown, Emily Bazelon reviews McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission, and James Spithill shares some history of the America's Cup.
1,253TBAPaul GiamattiA new wifi tea kettle will text you when your water boils. The text reads, Why the hell did you leave your house with the kettle on?October 89161
The debt ceiling looms, Eric Holder permits pro-pot laws, and Paul Giamatti talks "Parkland."
1,254TBATom HanksThe Congressional Fitness Center is still open during the shutdown. Wow! It is really hard to get out of a gym membership.October 99162
Truckers organize "Ride for the Constitution," and Tom Hanks talks about Captain Phillips (film) and Somali pirates.
1,255TBAReed Albergotti & Vanessa O'ConnellN/AOctober 109163
Hanksy dolls up Stephen's studio, and Reed Albergotti and Vanessa O'Connell discuss Lance Armstrong.
1,256TBAThe ReflektorsN/AOctober 219164
The government reopens, New Jersey allows gay marriage, and The Reflektors perform "Normal People."
1,257TBAA. Scott BergResearchers have developed a Breathalyzer for marijuana. Aaaaaaaaand it's already been turned into a bong.October 229165
Stephen weighs in on lions and tigers, KFC invents the "Go Cup," and A. Scott Berg discusses his book, "Wilson."
1,258TBAJudy Woodruff & Gwen IfillN/AOctober 239166
Obamacare's website crashes, Stephen investigates, and Judy Woodruff and Gwen Ifill discuss the news.
1,259"Philanthrophy"Stephen FryA new study suggests plants have the ability to tell time. Good, cause for Christmas I got my ficus a Swatch.October 249167
Girly hats could emasculate the Marines, and Stephen Fry discusses his role in "Twelfth Night."
1,260TBAOrlando BloomN/AOctober 289168
Stuffed animals go sight-seeing and Orlando Bloom discusses his Broadway turn in "Romeo and Juliet."
1,261"On Your Feet"Billy CollinsThe Jonas Brothers have announced they're breaking up. YOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!October 299169
Americans resort to harvesting their bodies, and Billy Collins talks about his book, "Aimless Love."
1,262TBAJack AndrakaThere's a national wine shortage. Great, now people in book clubs are actually going to have to read.October 309170
Shepard Smith battles digital addiction, and Jack Andraka shares his passion for science.
1,263"See No Evil"Zach SimsHappy Thanksgiving! April Fools. Happy Halloween.October 319171
The NSA spying scandal reaches the Vatican, and Codecademy founder Zach Sims discusses programming.

NovemberEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,264"Inc. God We Trust"David FolkenflikThey say a lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Why did the truth have its pants off?November 49172
Corporations find religion, and author David Folkenflik discusses "Murdoch's World."
1,265TBAJulius ErvingN/ANovember 59173
A bong-shaped mascot upsets a Canadian town, and Julius Erving discusses "Dr. J: The Autobiography."
1,266TBABrian LehrerN/ANovember 69174
Toys "R" Us mocks nature, and the host of The Brian Lehrer Show discusses New York City politics.
1,267TBADaniel LiebermanN/ANovember 79175
The Senate cracks down on sexual discrimination in the workplace, Stephen is nominated for a People's Choice Award, and author Daniel Lieberman discusses "The Story of the Human Body."
1,268TBAPeter BakerN/ANovember 119176
"60 Minutes" anchor Lara Logan apologizes for her flawed Benghazi story, and "Days of Fire" author Peter Baker discusses George W. Bush's rocky relationship with Dick Cheney.
1,269TBADavid ChristianLady Gaga says she's addicted to pot. So be on the lookout in case she starts exhibiting any odd behavior.November 129177
HealthCare.gov glitches lead to low enrollment, France rejects a nuke deal with Iran, a luxury hotel offers poverty-themed vacations, and David Christian talks "Big History."
1,270TBABlind Boys of AlabamaN/ANovember 139178
Human Rights groups protest U.S. drone attacks, Richard Cohen faces backlash over race comments, and the Blind Boys of Alabama perform a song from "I'll Find a Way."
1,271TBAAlexis OhanianN/ANovember 149179
Stephen calls for aid to the Philippines, The Today Show airs live prostate exams, and Alexis Ohanian discusses online democracy and his book Without Their Permission.
1,272TBASteve McQueenButterball warns that there may be a turkey shortage. Apparently they were caught off guard by this whole Thanksgiving thing.November 189180
The Colbert Nation helps the Philippines, conservatives gloat over Obamacare, Chip Wilson defends his yoga pants, and Steve McQueen talks 12 Years A Slave.
1,273TBARick SantorumN/ANovember 199181
Wal-Mart hosts a food drive for its own employees, Robert Reich argues for better income equality, and Rick Santorum discusses his movie, "The Christmas Candle."
1,274TBAM.I.A.Amsterdam is paying alcoholics beer to clean the streets, but you know they're just gonna spend that beer on weed.November 209182
Congressman Trey Radel pleads guilty to cocaine possession, Russia cracks down on "gay propaganda," and guest M.I.A. performs a song from her album "Matangi."
1,275TBAJ.J. AbramsThe X-Men have introduced a new character who is gay and has the power to make people like him. Wait a second, Neil Patrick Harris is a mutant?November 219183
Senate Democrats go nuclear, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin blocks same-sex benefits, Stephen invites himself to Thanksgiving dinner, and J.J. Abrams discusses his novel, "S."

DecemberEdit

No. "The Wørd" Guest(s) Introductory phrase Original air date Production
code
1,276TBADaniel GolemanA new study found that energy drinks can alter your heart function. So Red Bull gives you wings, but they might be angel wings.December 29184
HealthCare.gov relaunches, turkeys compete for Obama's pardon, Amazon embraces drones, a Christmas tree takes a bullet, and Daniel Goleman discusses his book, "Focus."
1,277TBAEd StoneNorth Korean Kim Jong-un reportedly fired his own uncle. No word yet whether he fired him into a mountain or the sea.December 39185
The pope might lead a secret life, the FDA targets trans fat, the McRib is scrutinized, a tech firm invents an office robot, and Ed Stone discusses the Voyager missions.
1,278TBABryan StevensonN/ADecember 49186
Congress's productivity hits a record low, the rich get a floating tax shelter, Common Core threatens cursive, and Bryan Stevenson argues for an equitable justice system.
1,279TBAAlan MulallyHackers have stolen the passwords of over two million internet accounts, so it's time for me to change mine from Password1 to Password2.December 59187
Stephen weighs flight against invisibility, Colorado legalizes pot, the GOP learns how to talk to women, and Alan Mulally discusses the Ford Mustang's 50-year legacy.
1,280TBADavid KeithN/ADecember 99188
Stephen honors Mandela, Bill O'Reilly & John Stossel discourage giving, "America Again" vies for a Grammy, and author David Keith discusses "A Case For Climate Engineering."
1,281"Channel Serfing"Alex BlumbergThere's a 2014 calendar of sexy New York Taxi Drivers, although back in their home countries they were sexy professors.December 109189
Walmart becomes an elite institution, Virginia Postrel examines the value of television, Venezuela starts Christmas early, and Alex Blumberg discusses "The T-Shirt Project."
1,282TBAElizabeth GilbertN/ADecember 119190
Festivus comes to the Florida Capitol, Obama's handshake causes outrage, Mike Huckabee fights Obamacare with music, and Elizabeth Gilbert talks "The Signature of All Things."
1,283TBAGeorge PackerTBADecember 129191
Congress agrees on a budget, a sleeping aid has terrifying side effects, Megyn Kelly argues that Santa is white, and author George Packer discusses "The Unwinding."
1,284TBAJonah PerettiTBADecember 169192
Google buys a robotics company, the NSA infiltrates online games, Stephen and Billy Crystal compete for a Grammy, and Jonah Peretti discusses BuzzFeed's journalism initiative.
1,285TBAGarry TrudeauGeorge Zimmerman is auctioning an original painting for $100,000. $100,000? Man, this guys getting away with murder!December 179193
Edward Snowden seeks political asylum in Brazil, China embraces pollution, Ted Cruz gets his own coloring book, and Garry Trudeau discusses his show, "Alpha House."
1,286TBAKeanu ReevesDoctors say an apple a day may prevent hearty attacks. If only there were a rhyme to remember that.December 189194
Customer satisfaction is worthless, Germany joins the debate over Santa's ethnicity, Keanu Reeves talks "47 Ronin," and Aaron Neville performs with members of MusiCorps.
1,287TBABen StillerTBADecember 199195
Jamie Dimon flaunts his wealth with a decadent Christmas card, A&E suspends Phil Robertson for anti-gay remarks, and Ben Stiller talks "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."

ReferencesEdit

  1. ^ "Stephen Colbert's Mother Dead: Lorna Elizabeth Tuck Colbert Dies At 92". Huffington Post. June 14, 2013. Retrieved 18 June 2013. 

External linksEdit