Talk:Special effects of The Empire Strikes Back

GOCE copyedit request

• Capitalisation of "rebel": The word is sometimes capitalised, sometimes not throughout the article. I've mostly stayed away from the franchise, but are the rebels a recognised entity, and thus capitalised, or just a catch-all term for those against the Empire? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

It should always be capitalized, it's the Rebel Alliance. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done. I've capitalised all instances of "Rebel". —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• Ton vs. tonne: The article uses both somewhat frequently. As tonne is a measure using the metric system, maybe it can be put through {{convert}} like measurements elsewhere in the article? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

I struggle with the convert stuff because I don't know the correct alternatives between metric and imperial. I have checked the source book and the "Around fifty tonnes of dendritic salt mixed" is specifically "tons" in the book not tonnes, my bad. Similarly "teel frame from 112 tons" is "tons" and "that weighed 4–5 tonnes each" is "tons" as well. I've corrected these. "and 80 feet (24 m) long, weighing 23 tons" is "tons". — Preceding unsigned comment added by Darkwarriorblake (talk • contribs)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• Months of recruitment began in late 1977. Did recruitment actually take several months? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Yes, the book is pretty detailed and you see people being hired from like July to February but then people join at random points too so I thought months in general was acceptable. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done. I rarely expand original text, but I think Recruitment occurred over several months from late 1977 onwards should be fine. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• As filming was about to begin in January 1979 [...] Already edited. Perhaps principal photography works better than "filming"? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Done Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• It was relatively small and portable [...] Small and portable relative to what? It seems like the comparison's being made to cumbersome equipment a few sentences up, but I'm not sure. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

The source magazine just says it "was small and portable" so I removed the relatively. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• A Fox employee recommended Finse, Norway. Wikilink removed. Not really a copyedit issue, but you might want to wikilink "Fox" to its relevant article to provide more context. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Done Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. I removed the parenthetical as this is the only use of "Fox" in the article. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• The location crew traveled to Finse by February 25, 1979. Did the crew arrive on this date? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Went back and read the source and clarified Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. Tweaked the wording a little for the following sentence as well. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• Beswick animated Walkers near the back of shots. Does this mean "in the background of shots"? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Yes, I've changed this .Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• They tried cutting pieces of the footage together [...] Who's "they"? Specific people, or the entire crew? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Added Ralston Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. I added a pronoun in the subordinate clause. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• A shot of Luke riding his Taun Taun mount on Hoth was intended to open Empire as far as January 1980 [...] Is the month and year necessary? It makes it strange to transition into the clause past the comma, and I think it would sound fine without it. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

I don't know if there is a better alternative but I feel that him changing the opening only 4 months before it opened is notable. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done. Throwing the time phrase at the beginning makes the sentence flow better. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• The 8-foot (2.4 m) tall full-scale Taun Taun was built at Elstree's prop department. Was it built by the people who normally work in that department? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

The source book just says the London team, but Elstree has its own specific crew. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done. Reworded it so that the team used the space to build the model. I also changed the following sentence to better clarify the original plan to ship it overseas versus what actually happened. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• The set's scale was such [...] I think an adjective would be useful here. The set was big enough that [...], perhaps? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Done Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• Guinness filed him scene [...] Not sure what this means. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

It's meant to be "Filmed"Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done. Changed object pronoun to possessive pronoun. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• [...] contemporary animatronics were not sophisticated enough, and they at one point tried to dress up a monkey [...] Emphasis added. Who's "they"? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

It doesn't say who "we" is but I've rewritten it to not require it. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Darkwarriorblake (talk • contribs)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• They had to wait for the weather to clear at the right time [...] Who's "they"?

—Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

You're killing me man! Changed to The filming crew.Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:12, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• [...] the bird sounds, when slowed down, created a spooky howl sound. Emphasis added. Is this a quote? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

It's not a quote but reading it I can see it comes across as POV so I've changed it to the quote. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. Still a little hesitant about using quotes around something that isn't quoted here, but it resolves the problem of asserting something in Wikipedia's voice. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:10, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• Other sounds included a 707 Jet [...] Is this a Boeing 707? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Yes, added link Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Done by requester. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:07, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• The special effects team was led by Richard Edlund and Brian Johnson in completing the effects, at a cost of $8 million. Minor nitpick, but was it the team or the special effects that cost $8 million in expenses? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

It's ILM in general, staff and special effects. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

 Tentatively done. I made the expenses the bigger picture so that readers can infer that the team made up a part of the cost rather than the entire thing. How's it look?
 Done. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

• They considered bringing workers in from Italy or Spain. Who's "they"? —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

It doesn't specify, it is a quote from Gary Kurtz who says "we" so that would generally just be "the production" or "the filmmakers" I guess? Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 15:42, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

That makes me think it's Kurtz and his peers. I shy away from using "filmmakers", as it is, in my opinion, a rather nebulous term that could apply to anyone who directly contributed to the film at any point in the project.
Suggestion: The sentence before it is The production was so expansive that by June 1979, the production had to ration the labor they could expend on building sets as there were no other tradespeople available in the industry (emphasis added). I think it would make sense if the part I italicised was described differently (maybe executive team?) and joined with the sentence in question. Something like: [...] the executive team had to [...] in the industry, and it considered bringing in workers from Italy and Spain, perhaps? Kurtz was a producer for the project, so I believe "executive team" is a more-than-accurate description of the decision-making body.
 Done. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

Looking forward to your answers. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 21:12, 22 October 2021 (UTC)

Pinging Tenryuu Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:13, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

Thanks Darkwarriorblake! Most of the points have been resolved; just asking for a quick check on the remaining two. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 20:59, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

I think both your suggestions are fine Tenryuu Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 22:27, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

Cool! I've resolved those last two points, and I'll give it another look a few hours from now to make any last-minute changes, if any. —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 00:12, 24 October 2021 (UTC)

@Darkwarriorblake: I think that's everything on my end! —Tenryuu 🐲 ( 💬 • 📝 ) 04:44, 24 October 2021 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Special effects of The Empire Strikes Back/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cerebellum (talk · contribs) 14:26, 9 January 2022 (UTC)

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article. Hoping to knock out the review today! --Cerebellum (talk) 14:26, 9 January 2022 (UTC)

Ok, all done! Fascinating article and topic, very well-researched. I've left my comments below and I will place this article on hold for seven days so you can address them. --Cerebellum (talk) 20:09, 9 January 2022 (UTC)

Criteria

• Prose: The prose is good, I made minor copy edits throughout but feel free to revert them if they are not improvements. I've left a few comments below with other suggestions.
• References: The referencing is thorough, you do rely on Rinzler a lot but I don't think it's a problem since you also consulted other sources. I like how you used contemporary news articles like the NYT.
• Coverage: At times, when you go into detail about the casting and filming, this reads more like an article about the development of the movie then one about special effects specifically. However, I think it is okay since you use the information about casting and filming to provide context for the VFX. The only things I think are missing are why Lucas shut down ILM after Star Wars, and the fact that the film won an academy award for the special effects.
• Neutral: Yes.
• Stable: Yes.
• Illustrated: No. I think you need some kind of images, maybe the film poster or pictures of some of the people who were involved.

Comments

• Development: However, his special effects company Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) had shuttered after production on Star Wars Was there a reason for this? It seems strange that he would shut down the studio if he was planning to make a sequel.
• Development: some of them founding a separate effects company, Apogee, Inc., under John Dykstra I recommend either removing this or making it a separate sentence, right now the sentence is pretty long.
• Sets: Real locations were scouted for the film, including Central Africa, Kenya, and Scandinavia for the bog planet Dagobah, and for Hoth. I think the sentence could be clear, I recommend Central Africa and Kenya for the bog planet Dagobah, and Scandinavia for Hoth.
• Sets: Sets were the single biggest expense at $3.5 million This seems to contradict the lead which says that the VFX cost $8 million.
• Hoth: 12 Taun Taun shots were needed Per MOS:NUMNOTES, avoid starting a sentence with a figure. Same goes for 100 pieces of film were used altogether.
• Hoth: The Empire Strikes Back says tauntaun, this article says Taun Taun. Which one is right?
• Ships: matted in to avoid creating a substantially large set to create the appearance of vast distances. I think this could be smoother, I recommend matted in to create the appearance of vast distances without a substantially large set.
• Ships: the 18-inch Millennium Falcon ($10,000).[155] The Falcon model was about 2 feet (0.61 m) Was it 18 inches or 2 feet?
• Reception/influence: I think you should say a bit about the reception of the special effects. According to the main movie article they were were lauded as "breathtaking",[238] "ingenious",[237] and visually dazzling, and Brian Johnson's Wikipedia page says that a special Academy Award was created for them. --Cerebellum (talk) 20:09, 9 January 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for your feedback, I've read your notes and will take a look at sorting all of them tomorrow as its 11pm here now! Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 23:01, 9 January 2022 (UTC)

Hi Cerebellum, I think I've addressed your issues but if I missed any let me know. Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 19:29, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

@Darkwarriorblake: Looks great! I'm happy to pass as GA. --Cerebellum (talk) 12:59, 12 January 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for your help Cerebellum! Darkwarriorblake / SEXY ACTION TALK PAGE! 16:11, 12 January 2022 (UTC)