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Talk:Max Bielfeldt

Latest comment: 6 months ago by WikiOriginal-9 in topic GA Review
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Did you know nomination edit

Latest comment: 11 months ago24 comments6 people in discussion
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Lightburst (talk) 19:47, 31 May 2023 (UTC)Reply

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Created by TonyTheTiger (talk). Self-nominated at 05:50, 30 March 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Max Bielfeldt; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.Reply

  •   Length and history OK, and passes Earwig OK, but I can say nothing about the source because at no point does the article actually say that Bielfeldt introduced his sister to Leonard, merely that she accompanied him to Michigan and met Leonard there. Yes, we can infer this, but that's not enough for a DYK hook. Daniel Case (talk) 00:49, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
Addendum: And while we're at this, maybe we can sidestep this problem, because frankly this is not unusual for someone to have introduced their sibling to a future spouse. How about instead:
ALT1:... that Max Bielfeldt is the first college men's basketball player to have won Big Ten championships at different schools?
You'd want to have it cited in the intro at least through its Main Page appearance since it would be the hook fact (and actually as an extraordinary claim about a BLP it should be cited in any event. Daniel Case (talk) 01:12, 4 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
I write WP:LEADs with the uncited format, summarizing content that is properly cited in the main body of the article.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:09, 18 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
ALT2:... that Max Bielfeldt pledged to help turn around the Indiana Hoosiers men's basketball program that had been plagued with embarrasing drug and alcohol infractions?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:12, 18 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
ALT3:... that after Max Bielfeldt transferred to Indiana Hoosiers men's basketball from Michigan Wolverines men's basketball, he posted a +25 plus–minus in the first half against Michigan?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:19, 18 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
ALT4:... that Max Bielfeldt declined a basketball scholarship from the home of the Bielfeldt Athletic Administration Building, which was endowed by his grandparents, where multiple generations of his family have attended?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:24, 18 April 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Straight away ALT4 is too long, so can't be used at all. ALT2 is for my money the most interesting; all of its references are offline, so assuming good faith on it. I say this is good to go.--Launchballer 23:36, 14 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
ALT5... that Max Bielfeldt declined a basketball scholarship from the home of the Bielfeldt Athletic Administration Building, which was endowed by his grandparents?-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:04, 15 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
ALT5 is valid; would probably change 'which was' to 'which had been' or even 'even though it had been', but I don't think that's a reason to hold up the nomination. I can approve that.--Launchballer 00:52, 16 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
Thanks. I'll accept any tinkering the main page afficionados might make.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:38, 16 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
I really want to promote ALT5 (or a variation of it), but the corresponding paragraph beginning "Michigan's 2011 incoming class included..." is very confusing: "His" school library where? Since this article is about Max Bielfeldt, could we not lead with him a bit more as the main subject of that paragraph? It would also be good to make it a bit clearer to the casual reader skimming this article that Bielfeldt did in fact eventually get a scholarship offer from Illinois, because the misperception persisted that he turned down Illinois because a scholarship offer never materialized. Cielquiparle (talk) 12:33, 20 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
Have I addressed the issues. I think the paragraph before the one you mentioned clearly presents the Illinois scholarship offer.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:06, 20 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
@TonyTheTiger: Better, thanks. I still think "his school library" is unclear but it just dawned on me that you probably meant his high school library, not a university library at Michigan or Illinois (I had wondered if his family had endowed a library there too). I'm removing my previous query mark. I really like the idea behind ALT4 / ALT5 but I think the "Bielfeldt Athletic Administration Building" reference is unnecessarily confusing. Cielquiparle (talk) 10:30, 21 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
I have changed school library to high school library. Sometimes DYK hooks have a bit of mystery/confusion to entice readership.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 14:14, 21 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for all the updates. Happy for another promoter to promote if they like the hooks. But while I'm here I'll propose one more:
  Need new hook reviewer to look at and approve ALT6 only. Thanks in advance. Cielquiparle (talk) 11:13, 31 May 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Good to go.--Launchballer 11:46, 31 May 2023 (UTC)Reply


GA Review edit

Latest comment: 6 months ago84 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Max Bielfeldt/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: WikiOriginal-9 (talk · contribs) 16:39, 20 October 2023 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Notes edit

This one has been waiting forever so I'll give it a review. I also reviewed your Derrick Walton article years ago. I went ahead and added the Commons category to external links.

Background and early life
  • Add grandmother before Carlotta.   Done
  • Suggest changing "Constructed between the October 21, 1994, groundbreaking and the October 4, 1996, dedication, the Bielfeldt Athletic Administration Building is a $7.2 million ($13.43 million in 2022), 43,000-square-foot (3995 m2) building endowed by Gary and Carlotta Bielfeldt" to "Constructed between the October 21, 1994, groundbreaking and the October 4, 1996, dedication, the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign's Bielfeldt Athletic Administration Building is a $7.2 million ($13.43 million in 2022), 43,000-square-foot (3995 m2) building that was endowed by Gary and Carlotta Bielfeldt".   Done
  • "His older sister, Elle, and brother-in-law, are alumni, with Meyers Leonard having played basketball at Illinois before his NBA career" change to "His older sister, Elle, and brother-in-law, Meyers Leonard, are alumni, with Leonard having played basketball at Illinois before his NBA career".   Done
  • "Leonard having played basketball at Illinois" If we're linking the Illinois football team earlier perhaps we should link "basketball at Illinois".   Done
  • "where the Illinois lost" Remove the.   Done
High school
Junior year
Senior year
  • "visit to Ann Arbor, Michigan an offer" Comma after Michigan.   Done
  • "and the school's all-time leader with 1,580 points and 886 rebounds" change to "and became the school's all-time leader in points with 1,580 and rebounds with 886".   Done
  • "and Biefeldt's career-high 40-point game fell one short of Gary Bielfeldt's 1954 senior year 41-point performance for Octavia High School" I'm not sure what that has to do with the prior part of the sentence? Maybe you can move this part to the prior paragraph where it mentioned the 40 point game.   Done
  • "In fact, Bielfedt's 20 double-doubles as a senior fell short of his own 21 as a junior" Remove in fact.   Done
  • "Peoria has produced a lot of NCAA Division I talent" It says that source is locked so I'll just assume good faith that Peoria has produced "a lot".   Done
  • "Chicago Tribune All-state 2nd team" Spell out 2nd to be consistent with the rest of the article.   Done
  • "In MaxPreps final class of 2011 top 100" Apostrophe with MaxPreps.   Done
  • "Beilfeld joined a 2011 incoming Michigan class" Shouldn't this go after the next sentence. The article hasn't said he signed with Michigan yet.   Done
  • "Despite his family's ties to the Illinois Fighting Illini,[47] Bielfeldt had a ceremonial verbal commitment event at his high school library on March 25" Shouldn't this sentence say that he chose Michigan?   Done
College
Michigan (2011–2015)
Sophomore season
Junior season
Senior season
Transfer
Indiana (2015–16)
Post graduate
Lead
Infobox
  • Where'd you get his height and weight?   Done
    • I have two disagreeing sources:
  1. Michigan says 6'8" 245
  2. Sports Reference says 6'7" 201. I assume the 6'7" was a college entry number (possibly coming from high school measurments).
I guess I just need the feedback on the body measurements.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 15:16, 30 October 2023 (UTC)Reply

Overall, very comprehensive. Nice research. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 16:39, 20 October 2023 (UTC)Reply

  • After having waited nearly 7 months for a review, I can say it was worth the wait. Thanks for looking so closely at this. It will take me a while to get through this (hopefully not nearly 7 months though).-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 08:20, 22 October 2023 (UTC)Reply
Last points
  • @TonyTheTiger: I don't actually see in the espn ref where it says his birthday?WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:45, 30 October 2023 (UTC)   DoneReply
  • Also, do you think we should link Octavia High? Do you know where that is? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:07, 30 October 2023 (UTC)   DoneReply
    • The original source "41 - Bielfeldt family scoring record. Gary Bielfeldt, Max's grandfather, scored 41 as a senior at Octavia High in 1954." gives no further information. In 1954, I assume it existed in the state of Illinois, but I am not sure. It must be defunct or have merged.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:57, 31 October 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • "Beilein attempted to block Bielfeldt from transferring within the Big Ten, but Indiana won an appeal" I think this should go later in the section because it hasn't said he chose Indiana yet. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:26, 30 October 2023 (UTC)   DoneReply
  • "he was regarded as possibly the greatest low post players" fix grammar. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:28, 30 October 2023 (UTC)   DoneReply
  • Also, I went ahead and changed "razzed" to "heckled". If you don't think that's right, let me know. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:33, 30 October 2023 (UTC)   DoneReply

All points have been addressed. Passing the article. Nice work! WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 01:30, 1 November 2023 (UTC)Reply

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