Talk:Old Music and the Slave Women

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Old Music and the Slave Women/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 10:55, 20 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): Very well written.  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): A clear and full set of RSs.  b (citations to reliable sources): Densely cited to RSs.  c (OR): No evidence of OR.  d (copyvio and plagiarism): All Earwig issues are correctly attributed quotes. 
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): All of the areas one would expect to be covered are, with appropriate weight.  b (focused): Stays on track. 
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias: Maintains a balanced PoV. Every opinion is sourced. 
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.: Only contributions by the nominator since it was created. 
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): Difficult to find an appropriate image as it was never published stand-alone. But, also no infobox - see discussion below. The image of the author just scrapes it over the threshold of this criteria.  b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:   An exceptionally well written article. Densely referenced, with a succinct but informative introduction and plot summary and pulling together all of the more noted views of the story. Good work. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:33, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

Hi Vanamonde93. A good looking article. This shouldn't be too much trouble. Some issues below from a quick skim. I'll let you have a look at them and I hope to be back to go through the article in detail in a day or two. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:26, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

@Gog the Mild: Cheers: I've addressed your comments. Vanamonde (talk) 12:20, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • The article needs an image. Of the book cover is the easy option - see other articles on Le Guin novels.
  • Slight issue here; this was never published as a standalone, so I'm not sure it would qualify for a fair use rationale on one of the collections' covers. I've added an image of the author.
  • Fair point. I had forgotten. I shouldn't have; my version is in Far Horizons. OK. Add an infobox and that will do.
  • Publisher locations are missing for two of the sources.
  • Fixed.
  • "Esdan is clandestinely approached by the rebellion". Possibly '... by agents of the rebels' or something similar? I don't think that a rebellion, as an impersonal entity, can approach someone.
  • Agreed. Replaced with "messengers", as I think that's closer to the source material.
  • "He is intercepted by government forces as he attempts to cross into rebel territory, roughed up, and imprisoned in a great slave estate". '... on a great...'?
  • Done, and also replaced "great" with "large": I'd rather avoid the ambiguity.
  • "... describe a society that has the potential to build a "truly human community", and the possibility of utopia.[30] This is made possible by the Ekumen's recognition of the slaves as human beings, thus offering them the possibility of freedom." Three variants of 'possible' in a sentence and a half. Not a GA fail issue, but it would read better if tidied up.
  • Good point. Tweaked one, will see if I can reword another.
  • "Cadden writes that Esdan eventually finds a sense of belonging along with the slaves..." Possibly I am being slow, but I am not sure what this means. That he and the slaves both find a sense of belonging? That he finds that he belongs with them? Or something else?
  • He means a sense of community; does that work better?
  • "Cadden described the story as sharing similarity with Le Guin's works set in Orsinia." similarities.
  • Done
  • One or two too many colons and semi colons for my taste, but that is certainly not a GA issue.
  • Yeah, I've a tendency to write long sentences. Trimmed a couple.

A really well written article. I have now started re-reading the five stories. Sort out the issues above and we are done.   Gog the Mild (talk) 13:03, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

@Gog the Mild: Done, cheers! Vanamonde (talk) 13:57, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply
@Vanamonde93: An infobox please. See last sentence of green text above. (I saw you working and have already completed the template as a pass!) Gog the Mild (talk) 14:03, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply
@Gog the Mild: Yeah, just realised I missed that point. Are you going to be particularly upset if I resist your suggestion on that? I'm okay with infoboxes in general, but I prefer to avoid them when the information included therein would be minimal. Regards, Vanamonde (talk) 14:20, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

Ho hum. Well, I would definitely include an infobox. But it is not about me. I suppose that skipping it is within the bounds of what a reasonable editor might choose to do, and you so choose. OK.

  • Well picked up on the peacock word which I let through.
  • You dropped the colon count just for me: thank you.
  • PS Great articles on Left Hand of Darkness and Starship Troopers.

Gog the Mild (talk) 14:33, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

Many thanks! Vanamonde (talk) 15:17, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply
Vanamonde93. You are welcome. If you want to quid pro quo, feel free. (I have six GANs queued up. Sigh.) Gog the Mild (talk) 16:03, 21 May 2018 (UTC)Reply