Talk:Sober (Inna song)

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review
Former good articleSober (Inna song) was one of the Music good articles, but it has been removed from the list. There are suggestions below for improving the article to meet the good article criteria. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
May 31, 2020Good article nomineeListed
July 10, 2020Articles for deletionRedirected
Current status: Delisted good article

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Sober (Inna song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 16:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Good to meet again, I'll review this soon --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead

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  • Use bullet points instead for any hlist
  • Streaming is not cited anywhere in the body; the ref only links to iTunes Stores, so either add another ref to back this up or remove the streaming info.
Streaming is a more and more relevant format nowadays, so I think it should definitely be mentioned here. The reference links to Apple Music where each release can also be simply streamed. I think this suffices. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:00, 31 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "solely handled by Walcher under" → "solely handled by Walcher, under"
  • "Lyrically, it discusses a lonely person's wish" → "Lyrically, the former discusses a lonely person wishing"
  • "The former was directed" → "The first video was directed" since there is no former
  • "their artists in private settings" → "their artists in private home settings" to give further context but not overkill either

Background and composition

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  • "solely handled by Walcher under" → "solely handled by Walcher, under"
  • Either add a citation that verifies streaming release for both here and Release history, or remove that info.
see comment above. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:00, 31 May 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "Musically, "Sober" utilizes a" → "Musically, the track utilizes a"
  • "its predecessor, "Not My Baby" (2020)" → ""its predecessor, "Not My Baby", from earlier that year"
  • "can be heard, a "powerful" yet" → "can be heard, as well as a "powerful" yet"
  • "which prominently utilizes" → "that prominently utilizes"
  • "is used throughout" → "is used throughout the track" to specify that it's not throughout the chops
  • "and to personally connect with" → "and personally connect with"
  • "Inna sings "Is it" → "Inna sings, "Is it"
  • "consists of the lines "I just" → "consists of the lines, "I just"

Critical reception

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  • "Upon release, "Sober" was received with positive reviews by" → ""Sober" was met with positive reviews from"
  • "While Modestas Mankus of" → "Modestas Mankus of"
  • "CelebMix's Jonathan Currinn also praised" → "while CelebMix's Jonathan Currinn also praised" since this is correct ordering for usage of "while"
  • "lyrical message which he tought fitted" → "lyrical message, which he thought fitted"
  • "delivery gave it a sense" → "delivery gave the song a sense"
  • Italicise MuuMuse
  • "deemed "Sober" a "surefire smash" and" → "deemed it a "surefire smash" and"
  • "whilst further praising its" → "whilst further praising the"

Music videos

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  • "An accompanying music video for "Sober" was" → "An accompanying music video was"
  • "and Loops Production as the producers" → "and Loops Production received credit as the producers" for grammar fixes
  • "The music video was part of" → "The visual was part of"
  • "whose scope was to present their artists" → "which had the scope of presenting the label's music artists"
  • "the shoot as being unconventional since it" → "the shooting as being unconventional, since it"
  • "bath, bed and a chair" → "bath, bed, and a chair"
  • "CelebMix's Currinn deemed Inna's appearance" → "Currinn deemed Inna's appearance"
  • "to the one in her 2011" → "to the one for her 2011"
  • "was also released 21 May 2020, and was edited" → "was released on 21 May 2020 and had been edited"

Credits and personnel

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  • Sure you can't add this?
There are not so many credits either way, and all have already been mentioned in the article's body. I don't think this section would be relevant here. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:08, 31 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

Track listing

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  • Good

Release history

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  • Good, apart from the streaming issue I have already explained
See my comment above. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:08, 31 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

References

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  • Use Fix dead links to archive all of these
  • Copyvio score is at 30.1%; that's great
  • Remove "on iTunes" from the titles on ref 2; but keep the publisher the same for all, though add region in brackets; example: iTunes Store (GB)
  • MOS:QWQ issues in the titles of refs 4 and 7
  • Ref 6 is missing MuuMuse for the work/website parameter
  • Remove wikilink to YouTube on ref 9

Final comments and verdict

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  On hold for now, changes should not be too hard to fix. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:12, 29 May 2020 (UTC)Reply

@Kyle Peake: Thank you very much for the review, I have addressed the comments apart from where I commented. Greets;
 Pass! --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:46, 31 May 2020 (UTC)Reply