Talk:Shovel Knight Showdown

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Shovel Knight Showdown/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Vrxces (talk · contribs) 00:50, 31 December 2023 (UTC)

I'll take this one on. Looks concise, compliant with the MOS and well organised and written. I'll post any comments shortly. ＶＲＸＣＥＳ (talk) 00:50, 31 December 2023 (UTC)

Index

* This is an issue I think is directly relevant to the GAN.
  This is an issue I think is indirectly relevant, but worth addressing.
? This is just a personal preference or comment that could help.

Summary

The article is well written and has few real issues. It could do with a copyedit and I've put some suggestions below that you may like to consider.

Many of the suggestions aren't wildly necessary to the GAN process and are fairly superficial improvements. Please don't feel obliged to action these ones and you're welcome to consider them after the nomation process.

Suggestions

  You may like to include the year of release in the headline.

Done

  The headline's summary for the single-player mode could be better explained, particularly given it alludes to a negative response.

I added a few more details. Anything in particular that you think should be elaborated on?

* Is there a better source of attribution for the Showdown cover than the Fandom page? It's obvious the art does not originate from Fandom.

The real source for it was the press kit I believe, added a link to there

* The gameplay section suggests the single-player mode contains a narrative element. Really recommend expanding this to a 'Plot' section after the 'Gameplay' section if this is a notable feature of the mode. As per MOS:PLOTSOURCE, this doesn't have to be sourced.

The problem is there really isn't much of a plot. Just the narrative introduction, one short cutscene apiece for each character, and then the final boss. There used to be a plot section for this game back on Shovel Knight, but there was so little to work with without putting in cruft for each of the cutscenes. Some reviewers even noted that the story was very weak.

? The article's could take a shorter and more direct approach to prose. Examples include directly listing items "X, Y and Z" rather than stating that they "range from X to Y", which is an odd framing.

Could you give me an example on how to do this? I want to make sure I get the framing write so I can improve in the future

No problems. Some random thoughts below - let me know if this wasn't quite what you wanted feedback on and happy to chat -

• The range from X to Y framing is awkward because it's repeated in the text. I think a range implies a spectrum where other unmentioned things may be incorporated. Playable characters include X, Y, and Z, or The game features an X mode and a Y mode makes it clearer that those are the only examples in the list.

• Lead-in fragments to sentences, i.e. As part of the Kickstarter... are fine but their overuse, particularly when they start paragraphs, can drag on. I think the most common strategy is to use active voice i.e. leading a sentence with the actor and then describing what they did i.e. The developers introduced X rather than X was introduced by the developers.

• In shorter articles, paragraphs should probably be self-contained with topic sentences, which you've already mostly done. Sometimes this can just involve making sure that the opening sentence doesn't contain pronouns for persons or concepts defined earlier, like when you get those paragraphs that start with He instead of naming the person again.

• That said, flow in paragraphs often requires minimizing repetition. The reception section has an identical sentence structure for every paragraph, giving it a X said this, Y said that, Z said this tone. Sometimes combining sentences with similar concepts can help, or adding detail to elongate sentences. In many cases, where critics are likely to say the same things about the game, you might like to cluster citations, rather than finding a unique thing every critic said. But you've excellently thematically grouped the comments anyway, which is a cut above most articles.

? The grammar pedant in me wonders if many paragraphs could not start on a preposition or passive voice. For instance, 'between' and 'in addition to the multiplayer gameplay' could easily be removed.

I reworded and removed a few of these

? I don't mind at all but I've found in my own GANs that some editors prefer the content of review sources being written or expressed instead of said. I get there's only so many verbs to go around!

Tried changing a few of the verbs to help out.

? dissuaded him - if the review is attributed to the publication and not the author, best to take a neutral approach to the pronouns.

Reworded

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by AirshipJungleman29 talk 17:51, 3 February 2024 (UTC)

(

• Comment or view
• Article history

)

• ... that a game mode in Shovel Knight Showdown takes inspiration from Mario Party? Source: https://www.gamedeveloper.com/design/shovel-knight-showdown-chester-s-choice
  • ALT1: ... that Shovel Knight Showdown started as a fundraising goal for the Kickstarter of the original game? Source: https://www.ign.com/articles/2018/08/28/shovel-knight-showdown-battle-mode-revealed
  • Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/KSEE
  • Comment: Article promoted just under seven days ago

Improved to Good Article status by The Night Watch (talk). Self-nominated at 20:30, 8 January 2024 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Shovel Knight Showdown; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.

I'll take this one. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 22:12, 15 January 2024 (UTC)

General: Article is new enough and long enough
New enough: Long enough:

Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Adequate sourcing: Neutral: Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing:

Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
Cited: Interesting:

QPQ: Done.

Overall: I would say ALT1 is more interesting. Also, I don't see the exact text that proves this hook. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough... then again, this is the first time I've reviewed a DYK nomination... TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 04:32, 16 January 2024 (UTC)

• TrademarkedTWOrantula, I would agree that ALT1 is more interesting, I would be willing to strike ALT0. The source material for ALT0 is under the third/fourth paragraph after "Conventions" where the developers said they took inspiration from Mario party, and then the sixth paragraph confirms that this inspiration helped with the game mode "Roulette" also known as "Chester's Choice". The Night Watch (talk) 16:14, 16 January 2024 (UTC)
• @The Night Watch: I can't see the evidence that proves ALT1. And yes, you can strike ALT0. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 00:23, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
  • @TrademarkedTWOrantula:, it's there in the last paragraph of the IGN article. all of which were stretch goals on the original Shovel Knight Kickstarter campaign... The Night Watch (talk) 00:26, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

Looks like you're good to go. Article is new enough, long enough, well referenced with reliable sources, and no copyvios spotted. Approving ALT1. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 00:32, 17 January 2024 (UTC)