Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number/archive2

Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number edit

Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Nominator(s): λ NegativeMP1 02:58, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"You all came back, huh? Why? You all know how this ends, don't you?" - Richard

Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number is a sequel to one of the most influential indie games of the 2010s, but is widely considered weaker than that game and is generally only remembered for being banned in Australia. The article for it is basically my #1 work on this site, having been worked on by me since my first non-talk page edits. It's also a former featured article candidate that failed due to concerns I was not able to address on time due to some real life events. With the copyedits done since then and all meaningful sourcing being exhausted, I believe that this article has very little in its way to becoming a featured article. I look forward to addressing any comments. λ NegativeMP1 02:58, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Panini! edit

No change, unless if MP1 got into some huge Wiki-drama that I should condemn. Panini! 🥪 03:37, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Draken Bowser edit

Never got around to playing the sequel, but the first game was a good one. I have a feeling the nom will be successful this time, just need to iron out a few kinks. Dropping a few suggestions

Lead

  • "The game takes place before, during, and after the events of Hotline Miami, with most of it focusing on the aftermath of the massacres committed against the Russian mafia in Miami by the previous game's protagonist, Jacket." - I think this is just a bit much to take in for the article's second sentence.
    • I can agree, but I'm not sure if there's a better way to word this or shorten it.
  • Prefer "with Dennaton incorporating all unused concepts they had from the development of the first game into the sequel."
    • Done.
  • "received generally positive reviews from critics, with reviewers generally praising the soundtrack and gameplay"

Gameplay

  • "such as" - used five times in relative proximity.
    • Reduced repetition.
  • "It is divided into several chapters (such as a building), each of which is further broken down into several stages (such as the floors of the aforementioned building)." - sometimes we need parentheses, but would it be possible to rephrase?
    • Unless you have any suggestions, I'm not sure.
  • "Most chapters have the player take control of a different character, with the game having thirteen playable characters in total." → "Most chapters have the player take control of one of thirteen playable characters."
    • Done.
  • "with enemy reactions towards player action being varied and enemies being able to get stuck in place." - could be slightly rephrased for better flow.
    • Rephrased.
  • "Exclusively for the version of the game released on Steam-release" - and I'd prefer to swap the following clauses into - "a level editor allowing players to create their own levels is included." - or to swap the entire sentence on its head leading with info on the level editor and ending on "..with the Steam-release."
    • Done.
  • "the players to create their own cutscenes and dialog, making it possible for players to create their own campaigns." - repetition.
    • Rephrased this bit completely.

Synopsis

  • Are video games subject to plot-section word limits? It's at 738.
    • Technically, there is a recommendation to keep it under 700 words, but this game has a convoluted plot and I think it's at the shortest it can be at.
  • " Following the events of Hotline Miami, the player character, 'Jacket', has been arrested after being manipulated into killing off the leadership of the Russian mafia by 50 Blessings, a neo-nationalist terror cell that masquerades as a peaceful activist group, gaining nationwide infamy." - a long sentence introducing many new ideas. Does "gaining nationwide infamy" refer to Jacket, 50 Blessings or both?
    • Added "leading to him", which should specify Jacket I think.
  • Prefer "serves with him in a commando squad deployed in Hawaii in 1985."- and I think I get what is meant by: "the basis of the shopkeeper" - but could the idea be communicated more clearly?
    • Changed to remove "the basis of", since the shopkeeper is just Beard.
  • "In 1991, a group of copycat killers known as The Fans attempt to emulate Jacket for attention, while the Son of the Russian Mafia boss of the first game seeks to return the Russians to power against the Colombian Cartel with the help of The Henchman, the latter of which seeks retirement." - a lot to take in before the full stop.
    • Broke the sentence.
  • "- in an act of desparation -" - ndashes.
    • Done, I think?

Halftime break. Will return later. Regards. Draken Bowser (talk) 16:39, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Development

  • "a team composed of" prefer "duo"
    • Done.
  • "Dennaton prioritized developing the game specifically for the fans of the original, comparing their development strategy to that of the Mega Man series. Unconcerned with trying to attract a larger audience, they described that they would 'give people that like the first game another game that they will enjoy.'" - the message conveyed by the quote is almost identical to the first clause.
    • Changed.
  • "The success of Hotline Miami was noted to lead to the increased the popularity of the artists behind the game's soundtrack.
    • Done.

Marketing and release

  • "It was announced here"
    • Done.
  • "Burns of VideoGamer and Rad of IGN praised the narrative, with Burns praising Dennaton's world design and Rad praising the variety in character motivations. Dave Cook of Vice praised the narrative for being a "smart story that many people simply didn't understand", and praising the ending." - "The soundtrack was additionally praised for its combination with gameplay by Thurster of PC Gamer and Burns of VideoGamer. Some tracks received additional praise for their specific uses in the game, with "Roller Mobster" being praised by Thurster of PC Gamer, and "You Are The Blood" being praised by Caty McCarthy of VG247 post-release in 2018"
    • Lower repetition.
  • Perhaps: "Many viewed it as whatattendees(?) shared Nathan Grayson's view of adescribed as a"
    • Done.
  • "that they would not change the ruling."
    • Done, though I left it as saying "challenge the ruling" since that seems like the proper lagnuage here.
  • "Upon release of the game"
    • Done.
  • "calling it a "grave mistake" in the game that did not feature into the narrative."
    • Done.

That's all I've got. Draken Bowser (talk) 19:10, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! I've addressed all of the above comments unless specifically noted otherwise. λ NegativeMP1 23:01, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hi Draken Bowser, I was wondering if you felt in a position to either support or oppose this nomination? Obviously, neither is obligatory. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 12:04, 5 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    I've been thinking about it. With the comments from the last review in mind and also my personal impression I'm waiting for one or two competent prose reviewers to speak their mind before pledging. Draken Bowser (talk) 12:51, 5 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review by Generalissima edit