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A fact from Jack A. Bade appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 29 March 2024 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
Did you know... that despite receiving a severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter becoming jammed after being attacked by enemy aircraft, Jack A. Bade(pictured) continued to defend American bombers over Guadalcanal?
Latest comment: 7 months ago19 comments6 people in discussion
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
Even if we remove the characters in (pictured), the hook is 225 characters. It must be 200 or less. I also noticed a very high Earwig score which I think is from copying his entire citation. That issue is sourced, but we still need to fix the hook. Lightburst (talk) 02:13, 4 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
Pinging @BlueMoonset Pinging @AirshipJungleman29 How is my original hook before it was edited by User:Lightburst? Is this good to go? Hook: ... that despite receiving severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter aircraft jammed after being attacked by enemy aircraft, Jack A. Bade (pictured) continued to defend the American bombers from enemy aircraft? - Toadboy123 (talk) 02:02, 19 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
It is very confusing to have the original hook edited in place, rather than ALT hooks being offered with appropriate changes. I am restoring the actual original hook, which is once more at the top (and striking it because of grammatical issues), and then running ALT0a, Toadboy123's current hook, which at 201 prose characters is too long, has grammatical issues, and needs to be trimmed; I've suggested an ALT0b that replaces "fighter aircraft jammed" with "fighter jamming" to avoid having "aircraft" twice in the hook and to take the prose character count down to 195 (I've added back the "a" before "severe head injury" for grammatical reasons):
ALT0a: ... that despite receiving severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter aircraft jammed after being attacked by enemy aircraft, Jack A. Bade (pictured) continued to defend the American bombers from enemy aircraft?
ALT0b: ... that despite receiving a severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter jamming after being attacked by enemy aircraft, Jack A. Bade (pictured) continued to defend the American bombers from enemy aircraft?
Geardona originally proposed the following hook with 225 prose characters, which I'm calling ALT1 (and striking), and their latest trim with 196 prose characters (ALT1a), which, since they have at least one new fact in these (Guadalcanal), cannot be reviewed further by them:
ALT1: ... that despite receiving a severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter aircraft becoming jammed after being attacked by enemy aircraft, Jack A. Bade(pictured) continued to defend American bombers over Guadalcanal from enemy aircraft?
ALT1a: ... that despite receiving a severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter becoming jammed after being attacked by enemy aircraft, Jack A. Bade(pictured) continued to defend American bombers over Guadalcanal?
New reviewer needed to check the various remaining hooks, since the ALT1s were proposed by the original reviewer. I'll be honest: I think it's undesirable that all the hooks, with the sole exception of ALT1a, use the phrase "enemy aircraft" twice. ALT1a could be shortened by replacing "becoming jammed" with "jamming", reducing the length further to 188. Many thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:34, 19 March 2024 (UTC)Reply
Fine by me. One last thing; the sentence containing the first half of the hook "that despite receiving a severe head injury, and the guns of his fighter becoming jammed after being attacked by enemy aircraft" needs an end-of-sentence cite.--Launchballer09:39, 20 March 2024 (UTC)Reply