Talk:Cherry Pop

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cherry Pop/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Coolmarc (talk · contribs) 23:17, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

• There are considerable prose issues, such as the capitalization of genre names that do not introduce a sentence, "dance/pop vocalist", "Cherry Pop has been recorded" - is it still being recorded?, "Being an Electronic / Pop song, Stan describes the song as J-Pop" - how are these relevant to each other... There is a lot of poor grammar and tense issues. If you struggle with English, I'd recommend that you ask for assistance WP:GOCE with these articles you keep nominating so that you can learn more about English grammar and punctuation and see how it should be copyedited.
• Then there's formatting issues everywhere. For example: Read Template:Infobox single for how the infobox should be correctly formatted, for example the "Records" in the label parameters are omitted, flatlists are used for genres and only the first genre should be capitalized, we don't use references in the infobox when they've already referenced the same things in the prose, overlinking of "Erik Lidbom". The depreciated music video parameter, these should be in an external links section. The "see release history" is redundant and depreciated. The charts are incorrectly formatted there's no "scope" parameters, and the charts section should be before the release history section not after...
• Then there's the biggest issue: the article in its entirety is unreliably and/or improperly sourced. Please familiarize yourself with policies such as WP:RS, WP:NEWSBLOG, WP:YOUTUBE, WP:NOENG. Your video synopsis is entirely WP:SYNTH.
• Then there's the video screenshot and music sample which will most likely be deleted in future because their captions give no idea as to why they are needed/being used, nor do they properly co-relate/explain the corresponding prose.

The article isn't even of C-class quality I'm afraid. You should really begin to familiarize yourself with the Wikipedia policies I've pointed out to you above before believing an article is of GA status. You should also become familiar with WP:WIAGA. If you are having trouble with understanding what the WP:WIAGA or Wikipedia policies are, try modelling your articles on an article like Like a Virgin (song) or The Edge of Glory to try and pick what mistakes you're doing and what your articles missing and what GA articles should look like. I'm sorry, and I hope you don't feel discouraged, keep up the enthusiasm! However, this is an Immediate ✗ Fail by all means... CoolMarc 05:42, 21 September 2015 (UTC)

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 03:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• In the image's alt, add a space after "be seen." and change the period into a semicolon
• Capitalize the 'a' in alt so it's in the same style as everything else (just for appearance sake)
• Remove the flatlist from genre as only one genre is listed

Lead

Paragraph 1

• Change the digital download link from "digital distribution" to "music download"
• Change 'from the record.o 'from Unlocked.'

Paragraph 2

• 'Regisor' is not a word
• Remove the 'a' before choreography
• Remove 'inside a white room'; it's unnecessary
• Is it necessary that we include it topped the iTunes charts in Japan? I mean, Adele's "Hello" topped like 40some iTunes charts and none of it's mentioned in her article

Composition

• Change section title to 'Background and composition'
• Change 'Further working' to 'Further's work'; this sentence needs to be worded as there are too many clauses
• Change "Stan's interviews prior to the release of 'Cherry Pop'.[5] She also noticed influences..." to "Stan's interviews prior to the release of 'Cherry Pop'; she also noticed influences..." (This means you should also move Ref #5 to the end of the sentence)
• Say "An administrator of IasiFun..."
• Remove the link to 'kiss'

Reception

Paragraph 1

• Rename this section 'Critical reception'
• Please provide a topic sentence, like: "Cherry Pop" received generally mixed reviews from music critics upon release.
• I don't understand what the first sentence (the one about The Singles Jukebox) you have is trying to convey
• Anthony Easton's review belongs more in composition than here
• Remove the date from Hitfire's review; just say "Hitfire praised the song's chorus as being..."
• 'Chours' is not a word
• Is 'trashy' a good thing?

Yes, it is.

• Add 'like' before you list "her previously launched songs"
• Change 'launched' to 'released'
• Hitfire's review is overly long; could the last sentence be removed? And, are there more reviews available for this song? Perhaps you could look at album reviews for more...

Paragraph 2

• Rename this section 'Commercial performance'
• Again, is the iTunes information really necessary?
• Organisers → Organizers
• native Airplay 100 → Romanian Radio Airplay Chart
• Add the last sentence to the end of the one before it, using a semicolon

Live performances

• Change to "On 12 December 2014, Stan performed both "Cherry Pop" and "Vanilla Chocolat" on an episode of Vocea Romaniei"
• Italicize Vocea Romaniei
• How is Ref #2 citing that is was performed during her tours? Isn't it the album's notes?

Music video

Paragraph 1

• Move this section before 'Live performances'
• Remove the photo of a tennis racket
• Upload a photo of the music video under fair use to the article
• I don't know if Stan's quote of the right side of the section is needed; could you reduce it and include it in the paragraph instead?

Paragraph 2

• gets enlightened → becomes enlightened
• gets a tennis racket → retrieves a tennis racket
• before putting it down and giving it to a fellow dancer on her left → before returning the racket to a nearby dancer
• Again, 'chours' is not a word
• Synchroned is not a word
• What do you mean by 'dressing wigs'?
• multicoloured → multicolored
• The last two sentences need to be reworded; there are far too many clauses in these sentences

Credits and personnel

• Move this section below 'Track listings'

Track listings

• You only need one source for the digital download

Release history

• The release dates are not in chronological order; please fix this

Charts

• Move this above 'Release history'

References

• [14] - Italicize Vocea Romaniei
• [17] - Provide a link to YouTube
• [21] - Provide a link to iTunes Store

A few more changes

• Please add sortables to the charts; view Baby Don't Lie#Charts to see what I mean and as an example
• Make the music video picture a bit larger
• Remove the 'Reception' header' and remove an equal sign from the beginning and end of 'Critical reception' and 'Commercial performance'
• Remove the 's' in "A 23-seconds sample..." under the audio sample

@Cartoon network freak: After this I'll pass the article; thanks for your cooperation. Carbrera (talk) 00:29, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera All done! Thank you very much for your time! Cheers, Cartoon network freak (talk) 00:38, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

End of GA Review:

This article needs a bit of work before passing, so I'm gonna put it on hold. Thank you. Carbrera (talk) 16:40, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera Everything done and responded to one of your comments. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 00:08, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

External links modified

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