Talk:2017 Mexico City ePrix

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2017 Mexico City ePrix/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 14:00, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Review

Hello. I'll happily review this article. Just by doing a quick overview, I can tell the article is well-written, properly uses reliable sources, and conforms to the appropriate layout. My review will consist of 2 parts. On the first one, I will go over any grammatical/spelling mistakes. On the second part, I will go over each source individually and check that the text is supported by them. Should not take me more than a few days. I'm currently out of town (I get back home tomorrow), but I'll read through it tonight and get back to you soon. Please feel free to disagree with any of my suggestions. Thanks for writing this and I look forward to reviewing it. Big thanks, MX (✉ • ✎) 14:00, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Part 1

Hi, please check my copyedits. Below are a few things needed to be addressed. Please scratch off the bullets when you're done going thru each of them, that way I know which are completed and can double-check them. Feel free to disagree with any of them. Great job with the article! Part 2 coming up. MX (✉ • ✎) 02:50, 22 October 2017 (UTC)

Background

• and the final chicane was modified – can you link chicane? It might be useful to readers who are not familiar with racing.
• Before the race e.Dams-Renault driver Sébastien Buemi led the Drivers' Championship with 75 points, 29 ahead of nearest rival Lucas di Grassi in second and a further ten in front of third-placed Nico Prost. Jean-Éric Vergne was fourth on 22 points and Felix Rosenqvist rounded out the top five with 20 points. – Instead of saying how many points Buemi was ahead from the 2nd and 3rd place racers, would it be better to simply state the amount of points the 2nd and 3rd place had? We can let the readers do the math. Similar to what you did with Vergne and Rosenqvist.
• e.Dams-Renault were leading the Teams' Championship with 111 points; Audi Sport ABT were in second place on 60 points, 23 in front of Mahindra in third position. – Same here with Mahindra.
• winning the season's previous three races – winning the season’s three previous races.
• After losing the victory in the previous year's race because of a technical infringement – I went through the source since I was a bit confused. Can you add that his car was underweight? I would also change it to “after being stripped of the victory …” since “losing” a “victory” is a bit confusing.
• in the event they performed well in qualifying – “ in the event that they perform well and qualify”

Practice and qualifying

• Drivers complained of a lack of grip early in qualifying but as cars circulated the track which cleaned it lap times became faster. – I did not understand the last part. The track was cleaned up by the vehicles driving on it?
• López, Félix da Costa and Sarrazin rounded out the top five – needs a period after five and before the citation.
• Abt was two-tenths of a second quicker than the previous three drivers in the first sector and despite losing a small amount of time in the second sector took provisional pole position with a time of one minute and 2.711 seconds – comes off a bit like a run-on sentence; I would rephrase to “… in the first sector. Despite losing a small amount of time in the second took, he took provision pole …”
• but his car's tyre pressure was found to have been below the mandated minimum pressure of 1.60-bar (160 kPa) and was demoted to 18th. – Ouch!
• Further grid penalties were applied when Engel was demoted ten places when he changed his gearbox following two failures in Buenos Aires and his teammate Sarrazin did the same – Question: was Sarrazin demoted too? Or was he just found guilty of changing his gearbox? I’m asking because I was thinking of putting “… when Engel and his teammate Sarrazin were demoted”
• Vergne attempted to overtake López around the inside – just a question, what does “round the inside” mean? Is it an official terminology used in the sport, or is it mostly a description often used by insiders? I won’t ask you to change this, but I would highly encourage you to rephrase it to readers unfamiliar with the sport.

Race

• took third position from the distracted Techeetah driver – somewhat unecyclopedic. Simply state the driver or say “from him”.
• Prost made a pit stop for a replacement nose cone – nose cone replacement?
• Both Andretti cars were investigated because their pit stop times were faster the minimum permitted time – “… were faster than the minimum permitted time”?
• and the French driver began – these kind of phrases may confuse readers with whom you are referring to. I would stick with the last names

Post-race

• found the manner the Belgian driver performed – ditto; it is somewhat difficult to remember what nationality they are
• but the Frenchman did not want to speak to the – ditto

Part 2

• 2017 FIA Formula E Julius Baer Mexico City ePrix - Is this the former name or the official name (intro says former, while infobox says official)? This name needs a reference since it is not found anywhere else in the body paragraphs (per WP:LEADCITE and WP:INFOBOXUSE).

• Nice job archiving each source! I do the same. I'm surprise more editors aren't doing it...

General comments

Excellent article; it is very detailed and does not get off topic. There were no copyright violations. Images are copyrighted correctly. This article is ripe for promotion! MX (✉ • ✎) 03:07, 22 October 2017 (UTC)

• @MX: Thank you for taking the time in reviewing this article. I have implemented the suggestions you have made above but have also made some other changes in the article which I feel are also could be an improvement. MWright96 (talk) 06:36, 22 October 2017 (UTC)