Talk:2015 Ocotlán ambush

Copy edit

Hi MX. I have started to copy edit this for GOCE. If you disagree with any of my edits, or I change something so that it doesn't match the source, or just don't understand why I have made a particular change, don't hesitate to let me know here. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:00, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

@Gog the Mild: Thank you for taking this. Hope you enjoy the read. Your work is greatly appreciated. MX (✉ • ✎) 06:17, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

Observations

No need to respond to observations unless you want to. They are just things which I have noticed in passing.

• "to combat crime in Mexico's urban and rural areas" As all of Mexico is either urban or rural this doesn't actually mean anything. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:20, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

 Fixed – MX (✉ • ✎) 06:17, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• "That same evening, there was a festival at the San José Church, a congregation close to where the ambush occurred, that ended at midnight." This is not a "reaction" and it seems to me that it would be better to move it to the "ambush" section.Gog the Mild (talk) 20:54, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

 Fixed – Made a copyedit to amend it. Basically just wanted to say that the festival prevented the Red Cross from knowing about the ambush in time. MX (✉ • ✎) 21:54, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

Understood. I have tweaked the wording a little.

Copy edit queries

• "a person in the neighborhood recorded the gunfire sounds for less than two minutes." Does this mean that someone made a sound-only recording of part of the shootout, the recording being of less than 2 minutes of the 2 hour-long gunfight? Gog the Mild (talk) 20:43, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• Somewhat hard to explain (not sure how to word it in English). Here is the raw video of the recording. Basically the person recorded it in almost complete darkness from his home. How would you phrase it? MX (✉ • ✎) 21:42, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

Got you. Thanks.

• Is this written in American English or British English? (I note that it does not use the US date format.) Gog the Mild (talk) 21:01, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• Should be in American English. I kept the DMY format because that's how it is used in Mexico and also what I'm most accustomed to. I looked at MOS:DATEFORMAT and couldn't find anything in regards to American/British English and date formats. MX (✉ • ✎) 21:42, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

Fine, it is in Mexican English, as is appropriate. Good. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:15, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• Hi MX. "and two stolen vehicles equipped with machine gun equipment". Do you know what the "equipment" was? Gog the Mild (talk) 17:41, 23 November 2018 (UTC)

• Source says: [las camionetas] estaban adaptadas y contaban con aditamentos para colocar sobre ellas el fusil M-60., loosely translated to: "[the vehicles] were adapted and equipped with attachments to place the M-60 rifle on them." I've made the clarification here. MX (✉ • ✎) 19:11, 23 November 2018 (UTC)

Thanks.

• "the PF raided a ranch in the Michoacán municipalities of Tanhuato [es] and Ecuandureo." I'm not sure how a single ranch can be in two municipalities. Is it on their border? Gog the Mild (talk) 19:40, 23 November 2018 (UTC)

Good catch. I double checked the source and others online. The ranch is technically in Ecuandureo, but preliminary sources confused it with Tanhuato because the ranch is right on the border with it (the highway in front of it basically divides both municipalities, and the vehicle persecution happened in Tanhuato and ended with the shootout in Ecuandureo). I've made the change here. MX (✉ • ✎) 20:01, 23 November 2018 (UTC)

Fin

That's me finished, unless you have any queries. A nice, thorough, well referenced article IMO. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:54, 24 November 2018 (UTC)

• Looks good to me. I really appreciate the work you've done here. I have no words to express how happy I am with the work you did. It still mindblows me what GOCE is capable of. Happy editing! MX (✉ • ✎) 21:45, 25 November 2018 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2015 Ocotlán ambush/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Buidhe (talk · contribs) 07:37, 4 January 2019 (UTC)

I should get to this in the next few days. Nice work! buidhe (formerly Catrìona) 07:37, 4 January 2019 (UTC)

Prose suggestions

• Shoutout to Gog the Mild for their excellent copyedit.
• (lede) "uninvolved civilians"—"bystanders" or "civilian bystanders" would read better
• (background) "Another account" ... "Another account" repetitive sentence structure

Overall comments

• Checked a few of the references, everything looks good
• Consider putting the originals of user-translated quotes in footnotes, as recommended by MOS:FOREIGNQUOTE
• This is a very thorough article. If you're interested, you could take this (or any of your other similarly complete, GA-class articles) to Military history A-class review to get a more thorough review and promotion to A-class.

• @Buidhe: Hello! Thank you for the review. I never thought about getting articles to A-class before. Is this usually a common step prior to nominating an article to FA? I'd like to get a FA one day. Perhaps a good goal for 2019! MX (✉ • ✎) 03:19, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

• @MX: MILHIST ACR is an excellent preparation for FAC. It's a similar process in that there are multiple reviewers, separate source and image reviews etc. There is less time pressure but the standards are almost as high. My article Escape of Viktor Pestek and Siegfried Lederer from Auschwitz was recently promoted to A-class, and I listed a different article, Working Group, for review after it failed to gain consensus at FAC. buidhe (formerly Catrìona) 03:30, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed