Rahnae22

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Your submission at Articles for creation: B. LaRae Orullian (March 9)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Onel5969 was: Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

• If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:B. LaRae Orullian and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
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Onel5969 ^{TT me} 13:51, 9 March 2016 (UTC)

Hello! Rahnae22, I noticed your article was declined at Articles for Creation, and that can be disappointing. If you are wondering why your article submission was declined, please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! Onel5969 TT me 13:51, 9 March 2016 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: B. LaRae Orullian (March 16)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by 333-blue was: Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

• If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:B. LaRae Orullian and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
• If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
• You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

333-blue 07:18, 16 March 2016 (UTC)

Your first article

I just saw this article, and the fact that it has been declined for notability reasons. I am somewhat dubious as to that action, largely based on the user's previous history in dabbling in areas the user should probably not play in. I do not have any experience in AfCs myself, so I have referred the action to an experienced admin for feedback - FYI. See here: User_talk:BlueMoonset#Wikipedia_talk:Good_article_nominations.2FArchive_21.23Asking_for_advices. Thank you! --Concertmusic (talk) 21:18, 16 March 2016 (UTC)

Rahnae22, I'm not well acquainted for the Articles for Creation space (and also not an admin), so I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be with Draft:B. LaRae Orullian, though I did edit it a bit just now. I would advise you to ask the person who first thought the article needed more work, Onel5969, what more needs to be done—how many more sources are needed to establish notability, and of what kind. You could go find additional reliable secondary sources about her in the interim. For example, there's this article from late 2014 that has a couple of quotes from Orullian and mentions that she was one of the founders of Velvet Hammer in the 1970s, which worked to get women on boards of directors, and (as of 2014) was politically active, and working with Electing Women to get more women candidates and officeholders. Searching on Orullian and either of these organizations might net some worthwhile information. I would try to replace the wikinvest.com source with something that is not set up as a wiki, since wikis are generally not considered reliable sources (and that includes Wikipedia itself!). There has to be a company or governmental source with that information that you can use instead. Orullian is certainly someone who should be notable between being first CEO of that bank and national president of the Girl Scouts, but a bit more in the way of sources may be needed to demonstrate her notability at AfC. Once you do, I'd like to suggest that you submit the article to Did You Know, which has a section of the Wikipedia main page to highlight new articles. As this is Women's History Month, this is an ideal time to submit it: it does have to be submitted within seven days of it passing AfC and it being moved to mainspace. Best of luck! BlueMoonset (talk) 22:35, 16 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi Rahnae22 - (and thanks for the ping, BlueMoonset), and oh, what the hell, I'll ping Concertmusic just so they can see the rationale for the article being declined at AfC. There are a lot of reasons that an article doesn't make it through AfC. I don't have official stats to back this up, but of the 5,000 or so articles I've reviewed, the top 3 reasons are: notability, NPOV (neutral point of view - or lack thereof), and advertising. This article currently suffers from the first of those 3. The subject is definitely accomplished, but there's a difference from being accomplished and being notable. Being inducted into the CO Women's HoF isn't by itself a sign of notability. She held a bunch of corporate jobs, wrote an article for a newspaper. The most possibly notable thing is being the first CEO of the Women's Bank in Denver. If it had been the first, rather than second, bank of its kind, then she would probably definitely be notable. Not saying she's not notable, but the way the article is currently written, it is an extremely weak case for notability. What you need are 3 in-depth articles from independent reliable sources about her, and use them to write the article. Right now, most of the article is based on her write-up in the CWHoF. That's not a valid source, since it's not independent (it exists to promote Colorado Women). The article also suffers from two additional issues. First, the tone of the article. After the lead sentence, two of the next three short paragraphs are very informally written. Phrases like "quickly promoted" and "saw many of them come and go" should be avoided. Second, the article is confusing as to when what happened. It bounces from 1977-97, but then back to 83, and that insertion doesn't make sense if she was already the CEO. When you talk about an event, or an accomplishment, date it, and put the article in chronological order. If you want to group things together (e.g. vocation stuff, avocation stuff, charity work) make sections, and put those sections in chronological order.

While the purpose of AfC is not to ensure an article won't get AfD'd, we do look at that. After all, what's the sense of passing an article just to put other editors through the AfD process? It's easier to ping other experienced editors to see what they think. Oh, and in the future, don't be afraid to ask the declining editor for help. Take a look at my talk page - folks ask me all the time. Or, if you feel put off by that editor, you can always post a question at the Teahouse. Anyway, hope this helps. Good luck with the article. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:34, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

Onel5969, BlueMoonset - thank you both for your valuable input. From personal experience years ago, it can be very frustrating and idscouraging to be shot down without understanding why, and your posts are very helpful in that regard. Thank you! --Concertmusic (talk) 11:59, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

BlueMoonset) Concertmusic onel5969 I very much appreciate all the help, as well. Lots to learn! Rahnae22 (talk) 14:46, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

AfC notification: Draft:B. LaRae Orullian has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at Draft:B. LaRae Orullian. Thanks! 333-blue 23:01, 16 March 2016 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: B. LaRae Orullian has been accepted

B. LaRae Orullian, which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created.
The article has been assessed as Start-Class, which is recorded on the article's talk page. You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.

You are more than welcome to continue making quality contributions to Wikipedia. Note that because you are a logged-in user, you can create articles yourself, and don't have to post a request. However, you may continue submitting work to Articles for Creation if you prefer.

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SwisterTwister talk 05:07, 20 March 2016 (UTC)

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