Talk:Victor Oreskovich

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Gonzo fan2007 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Victor Oreskovich/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 01:15, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed
Lead
  • "The following off-season, he was traded to the Canucks. Oreskovich joined the team in 2011 on their run to the Stanley Cup Finals, where they lost to the Boston Bruins." - maybe combine to "The following off-season, he was traded to the Canucks, joining the team in 2011 on their run to the Stanley Cup Finals, where they lost to the Boston Bruins."
  • "Oreskovich retired from hockey in 2012, and returned to university in 2015, completing a degree Master of Business Administration, and joined the Royal Bank of Canada." - there is a grammatical error in the "degree Master of" part, but this may also read better split into two sentences. Maybe after "2015" add a period and start the next sentence with "He completed..." « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:32, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Fixed all these. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Kaiser matias Regarding the second bullet point, what is your opinion about splitting the sentence into two? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 18:45, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
A simple oversight on my part. Done now. Kaiser matias (talk) 22:01, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Playing career
  • "Oreskovich played minor hockey with the Oakville Rangers of the OMHA SCTA League, winning two provincial rep championships with the club." - it would be good to include a year in this sentence, so the reader has a grasp of the timeframe the career starts at.
  • "Following minor, Oreskovich was drafted in the 6th round" - maybe this is a common way of saying this in hockey, but it sounds funny to me. Like it needs another word: "Following minor hockey" or something similar.
  • "Oreskovich attended the Avalanche's training camp for the 2006–07," - add "season" at the end
  • "and was signed a two-year contract with the Panthers on October 7, 2009." - missing "to" after signed
  • "called up to the NHL, making his NHL debut" - I would remove the second "NHL" unless you are really trying to express this is his "NHL" debut and not just his Avalanche debut.
  • "Oreskovich remained with the Canucks for the entire 2011 playoffs, dressing for 19 games, not recording any points, as the Canucks lost in the Stanley Cup Finals to the Boston Bruins." - recommend splitting into two sentences: "...entire 2011 playoffs. He dressed for 19 games in the playoffs but did not record any points, as the Canucks..."
  • Is there an sources that sums up his career or announces his retirement? It would be nice to end the Career section with how it ended. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:39, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Done everything here. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Personal life
Evidently it already exists: Notre Dame College School. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • "before dropping out to join the major junior ranks." - what are the "major junior ranks" Is it hockey-related?
  • "He later re-enrolled at University of Notre Dame during his two-year hiatus from his hockey career, to complete his finance degree." - based on this sentence, I am guessing "major junior ranks" is hockey-related? It would help to explain this a little, because the article jumps from him in high school to him suddenly having a hockey career. Also, maybe change "to complete" to "where he completed" « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:32, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Done everything here. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Career statistics
Regarding using abbreviations, the standard for ice hockey stats has been to leave links in, so without going through and changing everything, I'm a little reluctant to do so. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Images
References
Regarding the italics for the publishers, it happens when using the "work" field in the template, as suggested at Template:Cite news. Other than that all dealt with. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Overall
Comments

Great, didn't expect a review so quickly. I will note that after I added the article to GAC I reviewed citations, and #15 remains a deadlink. I'm working on figuring out how to best deal with it though. Kaiser matias (talk) 01:23, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply

No problem. I added my initial comments. Will probably wrap-up tomorrow. No big rush needed on your part though. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:32, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Believe I've addressed everything here, including the missing citation noted above here. Kaiser matias (talk) 18:23, 18 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Awesome, looks good! Nice work. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 04:16, 19 September 2018 (UTC)Reply