Talk:Jacqui Oatley

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Billsmith60 in topic Lead is too long

Bad writing

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"A normal girl's childhood, she developed a love of watching and playing football." Come on people, this sentence is actually saying that Jacqui Oatley is herself a girl's childhood. It makes no sense. The intended meaning is presumably something more like "during a normal girl's childhood..." etc. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 80.42.238.95 (talk) 14:09, 1 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

You could rewrite the sentence. Paul MacDermott (talk) 14:11, 1 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
Wikipedia is so full of this sort of bad writing that it would be a Sisyphean task. It's better to try to make people aware of the problem at source, although probably almost as futile. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 80.42.231.77 (talk) 17:18, 8 January 2014 (UTC)Reply
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Lead is too long

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The Introduction needs to be trimmed by about a third and material moved to the main text Billsmith60 (talk) 14:53, 4 March 2023 (UTC)Reply