Talk:The Cure (Fringe)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Cure (Fringe)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Queenieacoustic (talk) 09:23, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

I will review this article later today or tomorrow. Queenieacoustic (talk) 09:23, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Plot

1. "The Fringe team consisted of..." I assume it should be "consisting."
2. "Olivia confronts Esterbrook at a restaurant to discover his motivations and he threatens her; That last part makes the sentence a bit clunky. Reword.

Production

1. "Pinkner also told the Los Angeles Times the disease depicted in the episode, 'Bellini’s lymphocemia,'" This sentence sounds a bit awkward. You can change it to "Pinkner also told the Los Angeles Times that 'Bellini’s lymphocemia,' the disease depicted in the episode," for example.
2. "William Hill (actor)" is a dead link.
3. "The name of the assistant of Eigeman's David Esterbrook was named Elizabeth Sarnoff, which is also the name of a television writer and producer." This sentence is awkwardly structured, and the word "name" appears three times. You can make it more concise by writing "Eigeman's David Esterbrook's assistant was named after Elizabeth Sarnoff, a television writer and producer," for example.
4. "The actress pushed up against the glass door, and then the special effects department created a device wearing a brown wig with a explosive charge designed to imitate the actress' head exploding." This sentence is also a bit awkward. You can change it to "For the scene in which the actress is pushed up against a glass door, the special effects department created a device... etc," for example. Also, change "a explosive" to "an explosive."
5. References 4 and 5 both link to TV.com, a site which per point 2b of the good article criteria is not considered reliable. However, according to this discussion, tv.com is accepted when listing cast members, which reference number 5 does. Reference number 6 however, I'm afraid does not fly, since it links to an episode recap.

Reviews

1. "Reviews of the episode..." Change "of" to "for."
2. Just a minor inconvenience, but I'm pretty sure "A.V. Club" should be "The A.V. Club."

Lead

1. "It received mostly negative reviews..." This clashes with the summation in the Reviews section, which stated that reviews "ranged from mixed to negative."

Overall

At several points in this article, I found sentences which ended with punctuations outside the quotations. Remember, when a sentence ends with a quote, place the punctuation before the closing quotation mark.

In conclusion

While the article looks good overall, it has some problems that hinders me from passing it right away. I'll put it on hold so that the necessary fixes can be made. Good luck! Queenieacoustic (talk) 10:38, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

As always, thanks for the review! I believe I have addressed all of your concerns. Sorry about the grammar errors. I'll try to be more careful in the future. I replaced the TV.com ref with a citation referencing the episode itself. Thanks again, Ruby2010 comment! 19:47, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

Tv.com really shouldn't be used, the info you can use it for is in the episode itself (credits) so no need to actually use a reference for it. Also, look out for WP:LQ and quotations, what the reviewer said is not entirely true, the MOS says: "On Wikipedia, place all punctuation marks inside the quotation marks if they are part of the quoted material and outside if they are not." So if the part you quote doesn't end with a point the punctuation goes outside the quotes. You changed several of these, I only checked a couple but some were wrongly changed from outside to inside the quotes. _Xeworlebi ^(talk) 20:15, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

So for the guest stars, you think it would be acceptable to just list the episode reference? No problem at all for me. And I checked the punctuation issues based upon their citations and fixed a few spots. Thanks for noting them, and for helping me monitor the Fringe articles. It's much appreciated! Ruby2010 comment! 04:50, 17 June 2011 (UTC)

Yes, although when the article is about the specific episode you don't actually need to cite it, per WP:PRIMARY. Don't thank me, what you're doing deserves all the thanks. _Xeworlebi ^(talk) 07:47, 17 June 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the correction Xeworlebi! And Ruby, I'm sorry for the mistake, it was very unprofessional of me and I'll promise to be more careful before making claims in the future. As for the article itself, it looks great and it definitely passes the GA criteria. Nice work by the both of you! :) Queenieacoustic (talk) 09:35, 17 June 2011 (UTC)

Thanks! :) Ruby2010 comment! 14:58, 17 June 2011 (UTC)

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