Talk:The Astonishing

Story summary

Since it is a concept album, there should be a section on the article with a summary of the album's story. The official website has released a detailed summary of each song, so I've written this:

In the year 2285, the northeastern region of the United States has turned into a dystopia ruled by the oppressive Great Northern Empire of the Americas. The only resemblance to entertainment that exists is the electronic noise of the NOMACS (Noise Machines). The empire is ruled by Emperor Nafaryus, Empress Arabelle, Crown Prince Daryus and Princess Faythe. In a distant village called Ravenskill, a man named Gabriel possesses the natural ability to make music and sing ("The Gift of Music"). He has an older brother, Commander Arhys of the Ravenskill Rebel Militia, who has a son Xander with his deceased wife Evangeline ("A Better Life").

The first act starts when Nafaryus hears a rumor about Gabriel being the savior of the people. He and his familiy travel to Ravenskill to see him for themselves ("Lord Nafaryus"). In the Ravenskill town square, Gabriel is performing for the people when the royal family shows up. He continues playing at the emperor's request and nearly brings them all to tears ("A Savior in the Square"). As he plays, Faythe remembers how she found a music player when she was a child and kept it a secret all her life, and as she and Gabriel stare at each other they fall in love ("Act of Faythe"). Nafaryus, though briefly moved by Gabriel's song, sees him as a threat to his rule and gives the people of the town three days to deliver their savior to him, or he will destroy the town ("Three Days"). Arhys hides his brother and refuses to give him up ("Brother, Can You Hear Me?").

Back at the Emperor's palace, Faythe decides she must see Gabriel again. Disguising herself, she begins to travel back to Ravenskill. Arabelle, knowing about her daughter's intentions, instructs Daryus to follow and protect her. Daryus feels he has always been overlooked by his father in favor of his sister, so travels to the town with his own intentions ("A Life Left Behind"). Faythe arrives in the town and finds Xander, who trusts her and leads her to his father Arhys. Faythe convinces Arhys that she can help, so he brings her to Gabriel's hideout. Gabriel and Faythe embrace, and she promises to try to convince her father to stop the madness ("Ravenskill").

Meanwhile, Daryus finds Arhys' home and takes Xander captive. Daryus promises he will guarantee the safety and wealth of Xander in return for Arhys bringing Gabriel to him. Darys does this hoping that it will gain him respect from his father ("A Tempting Offer"). Arhys is forced to say yes, remembering the promise he made to Evangeline, to protect their son ("The X Aspect"). Faythe travels back to her father's palace and learns that her music player once belonged to her father. After a while, Nafaryus bows to the pleas of her daughter ("A New Beginning") and agrees to meet with Gabriel at an abandoned amphitheater called Heaven's Cove ("The Road to Revolution").

The second act begins as Arhys informs Daryus that Gabriel will be at Heaven's Cove that night ("Moment of Betrayal"). As Arhys waits at the amphitheater, he changes his mind, and when Daryus shows up, they start a fight. Daryus overpowers Arhys and kills him ("The Path That Divides"), unaware that Xander followed them and saw the whole scene. As Xander runs to his father's dead body, Daryus sees the silhouette of someone approaching him. Assuming it to be Gabriel, he attempts to kill him, realising too late that it is actually Faythe ("The Walking Shadow"). Gabriel arrives at the scene and sees his dead brother and the dying Faythe. Covering Xander's ears, he unleashes a scream that causes Daryus to go deaf and that is heard by Nafaryus, Arabelle and the entire town ("My Last Farewell").

Nafaryus and Arabelle arrive and beg Gabriel to use his gift to save Faythe ("Losing Faythe"), but Gabriel is unable to sing after screaming so loud ("Whispers on the Wind"). The people, attracted by the scream, show up and start singing, giving Gabriel hope. He finds his ability to sing and brings Faythe back to life ("Hymn of a Thousand Voices"). Nafaryus, realising what he has done, decides to end the conflict with Gabriel and shuts down the NOMACS for good ("Power Down"). Daryus is forgiven for his actions, and Gabriel and Faythe raise Xander as a family ("Our New World"). Nafaryus promises to govern the empire as a fair leader in a new world where music is appreciated again ("Astonishing"). Dave Lars (talk) 10:18, 1 February 2016 (UTC)

I have no objection to adding you adding a Synopsis section. I'm not sure if it requires such a detailed summary though (just my opinion, I would like to hear thoughts from others on this). I would recommend adding in the song titles that relate to each part of the story. See Tommy for an example of what I mean. Liambarrett1986 (talk) 13:22, 1 February 2016 (UTC)

The plot summary is excellent. WP:FILMPLOT recommend a 400-700 word plot summary for films, so I think this one is fine given the movie-like length of the album. I support adding song titles to the corresponding parts of the story. I have also made a few corrections and additions to Dave's text, see what I changed here (and a minor further adjustment here). We can easily rescue the original version if anybody opposes my inputs. Victão Lopes ^Fala! 17:51, 1 February 2016 (UTC)

I have cited the songs like you both suggested. Thank you for your inputs and corrections. You are welcome to edit it further if you can think of other ways to improve the text. Dave Lars (talk) 20:20, 1 February 2016 (UTC)

Looks good to me Liambarrett1986 (talk) 22:07, 1 February 2016 (UTC)

Same here. Victão Lopes ^Fala! 22:52, 1 February 2016 (UTC)

Singles vs music videos

There are two miscellaneous boxes added to the end of the quick info box, but only one is showing, the music video information. Should we stick with showing that, or revert to showing the singles again? Looks like we can only do one.--Ktmartell (talk) 02:44, 4 March 2016 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Astonishing/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:58, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• The album cover image requires an alt description, so please add one
• There are no sources in this article that back up the release dates of singles "Our New World" and "Hymn of a Thousand Voices", nor that they were even released as commercial singles; please add some sources here and in the article's "Release" section

Lead

Paragraph 1

• "Long Island, New York" --> Please link to its respective article
• "Canada" --> Please link to its respective article as well

Paragraph 3

• "It debuted in the top ten of the Norwegian, Hungarian, Italian, Swedish, Portuguese, Dutch, German, Austrian, and Canadian charts," --> "It debuted in the top ten of nine different countries,"
• "It has received generally favorable reviews and currently holds an average score of 80/100 on the review aggregator Metacritic. The band is currently touring in support of the album." --> "It has received generally favorable reviews from music critics and the band is currently touring in support of the album."

Background

Paragraph 2

• "every day..." --> "everyday..."

Paragraph 4

• "Dream Theater began recording the album's bass, drums, guitars, and keyboards in January 2015 at Cove City Sound Studios in Long Island, New York, where they also recorded their two previous albums, A Dramatic Turn of Events and Dream Theater.[9]" --> You need to add the release years in parentheses after both album titles: [in this case (2011), followed by (2013).]

Synopsis

• Good since it comes straight from the source!

Composition

Paragraph 1

• "it has been compared to The Who's Tommy, Pink Floyd's The Wall, Queensrÿche's Operation: Mindcrime, and Rush's 2112, the latter of which also revolves around music being used to achieve freedom in a futuristic setting.[18][19]" --> You need to add the release years in parentheses after both album titles: [in this case (1969), followed by (1979), (1988), and (1976).]
• I would order 2112 in between Tommy and The Wall so the releases are in chronological order
• "My thought was, ‘What would happen if with all the advances in technology in music that music [became] all artificial?’”[3]" --> I don't know why, but this doesn't read correctly to me...

Release

Paragraph 1

• "Dream Theater began their marketing campaign for The Astonishing in October 2015, prompting visitors to their official website to choose between mailing lists for the Great Northern Empire or the Ravenskill Rebel Militia.[23]" --> "Dream Theater began their marketing campaign for The Astonishing in October 2015, prompting visitors to visit their official website to choose between mailing lists for the Great Northern Empire or the Ravenskill Rebel Militia.[23]"
• "Leading to the album's release, the band released a single, "The Gift of Music",[29] and premiered another song, "Moment of Betrayal".[3] They also made an official trailer available via YouTube.[30]" --> Add release dates please

Paragraph 2

• "In the United States, it entered the Billboard 200 at number eleven overall and became Dream Theater's first ever number one debut on the Billboard Rock Chart.[32]" --> "In the United States, it entered and peaked on the Billboard 200 at number eleven and became Dream Theater's first ever number one debut on the Billboard Rock Chart.[32]"

Critical reception

• Make this an entirely separate section please, by removing an "equal" sign from the beginning and end of the title
• Rest looks absolutely great!

Track listing

• "All track information taken from The Astonishing liner notes.[1]

All lyrics written by John Petrucci, all music composed by Petrucci and Jordan Rudess." --> "All track information taken from The Astonishing liner notes; all lyrics written by John Petrucci, all music composed by Petrucci and Jordan Rudess[1]."

End of GA Review:

Great article @Ktmartell:! Just a few changes before passing! Good luck! On hold for seven days! Great work. Thanks and cheers, Carbrera (talk) 21:07, 22 June 2016 (UTC)!

Thanks for the great feedback. I just knocked out the easy stuff. Will finish everything up ASAP, certainly by June 29.--Ktmartell (talk) 18:58, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

Alrighty! A few notes:

• The two links you requested in the Background section are actually already there, but let me know if you can't find the references or if they're referenced poorly or something.
• The Petrucci comment in Composition Paragraph 1 does read strangely, but I also copied it directly from the article. I tried trimming it a bit to make it better.
• I added release dates for ONW and HOATV, although I'm not sure if they're technically singles. I can remove if that would be better.

Please let me know if there are any outstanding issues and I can revise. Thanks!--Ktmartell (talk) 21:21, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

Nope! Thanks so much! I passed the article and removed the two singles you're unsure of. Thanks again! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 21:48, 26 June 2016 (UTC).

Excessive / Incorrect Information

Good Evening Friends,

I noticed that a lot of recent edits could be considered overly detailed. Here are some examples:

• "The Astonishing marked the first time that a single member of Dream Theater (John Petrucci) had written the lyrics for an entire album."
• "It is the band's second story-based concept album, as well as their second studio double album"
• "The Astonishing is ... the second to not feature a song over ten minutes in length (after When Dream and Day Unite)."
• "It is also Dream Theater's first album to not feature cover art by Hugh Syme since Train of Thought."

Considering that most of these details were not cited or lacked proper formatting, my assumption is that they were abruptly tacked on. While I understand that this stuff is extremely subjective, and by no means do I claim to have all the answers, I think it is important to keep the article fairly general. The average reader is not a die-hard like many of us. They are not as interested in these details.

Also, Dream Theater have basically confirmed that The Astonishing is their second concept album (story-based or not) by copying the original version of the article into their website (http://dreamtheater.net/discography/the-astonishing/). I don't think we need to make a distinction between regular or story-based; again, keeping things general.

I sincerely hope that some of my revisions have made the article better. Thanks everyone.--Ktmartell (talk) 00:50, 9 August 2018 (UTC)