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The first thing that stands out is that the article is (mostly) written from one source (Baldorioty, Apóstol.). Is this avoidable?
I replaced some of the references with another book (Baldorioty Ahora) which covers the same material, however there are some things in Baldorioty, Apóstol that only that book can source, it is by far the more detailed of the biographies.
"spokesperson for the island's right to self-determination" - I dunno... does/should "spokesperson" have a plural here?
I replaced it with "spokesman", however I have seen "spokesperson" being used commonly in such cases.
Check all the refs come directly after punctuation; I fixed a few (eg) but I may have missed some.
I fixed one, the rest seem ok.
"He spent most of his adolescent years studying and finished with one of the best averages in his class upon the completion of his educational studies." - the last bit is redundant; "finished" implies he's ended his studies.
Removed.
"Baldorioty de Castro, was given an offer to return to Puerto Rico which he decline" - would work better without the comma?
Yeah, removed.
"based on his ideological ideals." - idealogical ideas? Ouch...
Hehehe, reworded.
Newspapers in the Final years and legacy section go in italics.
Quotation mark replaced with italics.
That section could also do with better sourcing.
Added a few covering his last years and the foundation of a newspaper.
Yeah, overall the prose is OK... please leave me a note when done. Cheers, —Giggy 10:29, 2 July 2008 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the review. I can try to track a second book, but that would take a day or two. The one being used (Baldorioty, Apóstol.) was published by the Puerto Rican Culture Institute, which is why I used it as a reference. I will work with the other issues in a few hours from my PC, cheers. - Caribbean~H.Q. 18:50, 2 July 2008 (UTC)Reply
