Talk:Giovanni Villani
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Major expansion
editI usually work on Chinese History articles, but this fellow seemed so important and intriguing in my mind that I couldn't just leave his article in the dilapidated state that it was when I first came upon it yesterday. I hope everyone enjoys the now comprehensive read, even though the article as of now isn't even 32 KB yet! This is certainly the shortest article I've ever submitted to be a FAC.--Pericles of AthensTalk 03:06, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Review Comments
edit"Involved through no fault of his own in the bankruptcy of the Buonaccorsi Company, part of the larger failure of the Bardi, Villani was imprisoned for debt in 1346.[19][20] However, it is known that several events described in Villani's Cronica surrounding the Buonaccorsi's bankruptcy was written to deliberately obscure the truth about the company's fraudulent behavior.[21]"
- "Involved through no fault of his own" wordy. -
"Though he was not involved" is slightly better I think.["The bankruptcy of the Buonaccorsi Company dragged Villani into prison, as he was a main partner"] - Why "however"? what previous judgement is being contradicted?
- Should li[n]k
eto Compagnia dei Bardi instead of Bardi which is a disamguation page which does not include Compagnia dei Bardi. - there's some interesting information regarding the cause of bankruptcy of many banks in the Compagnia dei Bardi article. - Giovanni blamed it on British loans, - and it seems a lot of banks went bankrupt. - perhaps "part of the larger failure of the bardi" is not necessarily helpful, as the cause of the larger failure of the bardi is perfectly unknown.
- --Kiyarrllston 15:08, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
PS: strikethroughs and [in brackets] added--Kiyarrllston 15:43, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- Don't know if you noticed, but Compagnia dei Bardi was already linked in the "See Also" section. I just deleted it from "See Also" and put "Compagnia dei Bardi" as a hidden link behind "Bardi". I agree, that is a much more helpful link.--Pericles of AthensTalk 16:43, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
That extra "however" was just a left-over word from when I was playing around with moving sentences here and there to get a better flow to the article. I just deleted the extra "however". Fixed.--Pericles of AthensTalk 16:45, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- I have reworded that paragraph slightly in favor of how you've suggested, although instead of "dragged Villani into prison" I stated "led to Villani's conviction and imprisonment in 1346". Fair enough?--Pericles of AthensTalk 16:51, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- hehe, very nicely done :D, this was to be just one of many examples, but as I am easily distracted... I'll see if I can round up any other suspects to rough up.---Kiyarrllston 20:47, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- I have reworded that paragraph slightly in favor of how you've suggested, although instead of "dragged Villani into prison" I stated "led to Villani's conviction and imprisonment in 1346". Fair enough?--Pericles of AthensTalk 16:51, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
I believe improvements can be found in:
- Removing Introductory phrases: "During the Bubonic Plague, Villani wrote:" -> "Villani wrote during the Bubonic Plague:"; "
After traveling abroad,Villani returned to Florence in 1307 where he married and settled down for a life of city politics."; - Removing parenthesis:(this charge was later cleared). - when was this cleared? why was it cleared? if important remove parenthesis only, if unimportant also remove information. - removing parenthesis should improve flow, parenthesis should not deter from flow.
- Linking: Who is the historian Louis Green? the Louis Green article is about someone else. it'd be nice to have Louis Green (historian) or similar.
- Prose: "The Cronica of Villani [is]
has been used by modern historians asan incredibly rich historical record; its greatest value to modern historians is the described people, data, and events belonging to the age in which Villani lived" -wordy/redundant
also :Doesn't "Nuova Cronica" properly translate as "New Chronicle"?--Kiyarrllston 21:46, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'm about to watch the superbowl, but I have quickly fixed the sentences in question that you brought up.
- Yes, it says right in the introduction (in parenthesis) that "Nuova Cronica" means "New Chronicle". Is there a problem with the title?
- Also, if I was to create an article on Louis Green (historian), is that not favoring one over the other historians mentioned and quoted in the article? Such as Kenneth R. Bartlett, Kelly De Vries, Mark Phillips (historian), and Philip H. Wicksteed? (Oops! Looks like someone already got to Wicksteed there, lol). Do you mention him because Green's name is mentioned more times in the article than these others? If I can't find any information on Louis Green and am unable to create an article on him, does that mean you will continue to oppose this article's FA status? Just curious.--Pericles of AthensTalk 22:30, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- Doing a google search for "Louis Green historian" does not yield any useful info, I'm afraid.--Pericles of AthensTalk 22:50, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
- From Amazon.com, here are some history books by Green: click here. But there is no information on the author himself.--Pericles of AthensTalk 23:04, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
Sorry for not iterating this here - I have crossed out my opposition, and have declared my opinion on the candidateship as neutral, presumably any further improvements would be to get a declaration of "support" for the candidateship.- I like the idea of Louis Green being linked, indeed because he is the noted more time in the article, I'd really prefer them all to be linked, I think wikipedia is lacking on it's coverage of historiography and authors that you quote should be notable or not in the article, and thus encyclopedic. - What about the other areas for improvement? what did you think of them? Those are more important to improving the article. - Thank you for reading my comment. I hope I have been helpful, please let me know how I could do better.--Kiyarrllston 00:45, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- GIANTS JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL. Oh yeah, and I started the article on Kenneth R. Bartlett.--Pericles of AthensTalk 03:11, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- hmm :D
- GIANTS JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL. Oh yeah, and I started the article on Kenneth R. Bartlett.--Pericles of AthensTalk 03:11, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
--- Sentence:"Giovanni Villani was born into the Florentine merchant middle class, the son of Villano di Stoldi di Bellincione, who came from an old and well-respected arti maggiori family of merchants." long compound setence, awkward. Giovanni Villani was born into the Florentine middle class. His father was Villano di Stoldi di Bellincione, a descendant of a well-respected arti maggiori family of merchants" is slightly better I think.--Kiyarrllston 14:22, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
- I agree, so I have changed it.--Pericles of AthensTalk 17:07, 7 February 2008 (UTC)
disambig
editjubilee needs disambig. Randomblue (talk) 20:56, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks! Fixed that.--Pericles of AthensTalk 01:28, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
date of birth
editc. 1276 or 1280-is this mean period from 1276. and 1280. or two just two dates 1276. or 1280?--Vojvodaeist 17:38, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
- Good question; the source I used did not specify if it was between those dates or if it was either one of those dates.--Pericles of AthensTalk 17:42, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
- I supposed that it is beetwen this dates but I can't be sure. --Vojvodaeist 17:44, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
EB1910 to EB1911
editI suggest, that as there is a EB 1911 Wikisource article, that, if possible, the 1910 EB citations are replaced with ones from the Ugo Balzani article in EB 1911. -- PBS (talk) 16:34, 9 April 2011 (UTC)
External links modified
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