Talk:Espanto Jr.

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Espanto Jr./GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wugapodes (talk · contribs) 23:08, 11 June 2016 (UTC)

Note This review is part of a series of reviews by an editor on articles of a similar topic. Because of this, the various reviews may reference each other. Please also see Los Espantos, Espanto I, Espanto II, Espanto III, Espanto IV and V, Espanto Jr., Espanto Jr. (CMLL), and Los Hijos del Espanto if things are unclear. Disclosure: Both the nom and reviewer are participating in the WikiCup, if need be, anyone may request a second opinion if they feel my review is not following the GA criteria. Thanks. Wugapodes [t^hɔk] [kantʃɻɪbz] 23:08, 11 June 2016 (UTC)

Checklist

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

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1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Comments

If the comment is numbered, it must be addressed for the article to pass, if it is bulleted, it's an optional suggestion or comment that you don't need to act on right now.
When I quote things, you can use ctrl+f to search the page for the specific line I quoted.

1. "He is the brother of Jose Andrade Salasa, best known under the ring name "Brilliante", Moro III (real name not revealed), a brother who worked both as Zafiro and Pentagoncito (real name not revealed), Juan Andrade Salasa, better known as Kevin and Juan Andrade Salsa who also played the part of Zafiro at one point." This sentence is difficult for me as it's unclear what is an appositive description of a sibling's ring name, and which is the name of a sibling. Try rephrasing, re-punctuating, and breaking ti up to make it more clear

   I have tried to reformat this, break it down more. I originally thought about doing an article on the Andrade family but it made my head hurt to research it ;-) hopefully this section is less headache inducing now

2. "...adopted the ring character that would turn out to be his most successful..." per WP:PEACOCK, successful should be cited or toned down.

   I reworded it, better?

3. "as the UWA was slowly dying" the phrasing here is a little non-neutral. Perhaps something like "losing popularity" or "falling out of favor", thought maybe that phrasing is best. It may also be worth adding in a short explanation of why the UWA was dying out.

   Reworded, better?

4. What caused him to become clinically dead? How was he revived? Are there any sources on this?

   Reliable sources do not state it outright, I have read two different suggestions - he landed on his head wrong from a slam, or it was a blow to the chest that stopped his heart. But I got nothing on which is the actual truth, not sure if there is a video but I am sure I don't actually want to watch it if there is.

   Understandable. We can't wish sources into existence (if only!). Wugapodes [t^hɔk] [kantʃɻɪbz] 14:44, 16 June 2016 (UTC)

5. So nothing screamed out BLP violation, but it would be good for you to just look through and see if there is any contentious material that needs additional sourcing.

   Sure

Results

On hold for a length of time to be determined

• @Wugapodes: - I have addressed the issues I could address, I wish I had a conclusive answer to how he died.  MPJ-US  21:41, 14 June 2016 (UTC)

Promoted I did some more copyediting, feel free to change anything you don't feel is an improvement. In the Personal life section I referred to him as Jesús to reduce ambiguitiy since there are a half dozen people in there that have the name Andrade. Anyway, good job on another good article! Wugapodes [t^hɔk] [kantʃɻɪbz] 14:44, 16 June 2016 (UTC)