Talk:Competition elements in ice dance

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Gonzo fan2007 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:Competition elements in ice dance/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:19, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed
Lead
  • "Ice dance, a discipline of figure skating, has required elements that ice dancers must perform during a competition and that make up a well-balanced skating program." - I would flip these: "Ice dance, a discipline of figure skating, has required elements that make up a well-balanced skating program and must be performed during competitions."
  • "They must be performed in specific ways," - change to "The elements must be performed in specific ways,"
  • "Choreographic elements are elements completed if the minimum requirements defining the element are met, and are judged differently." - this sentence is a little confusing, maybe: "Choreographic elements are judged differently; they are considered complete if the minimum requirements defining the element are met." « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:09, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Suggested changes made.
General requirements
Dance lifts
  • "After the judging system changed from the 6.0 system to the ISU Judging System (IJS), dance lifts became more "athletic, dramatic and exciting"." - maybe clarify what the change was. A 10 point scale? Something else?
Definitely something else. I should've added the link, and saw that I had not; that's fixed now. Is that enough?
  • "they have become "much more acrobatic"" - I would just summarize this part instead of quoting it. "Significantly more acrobatic" or just "more acrobatic" without quoting. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:24, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Done. I also restructured that part of the paragraph because I thought it was a little awkward.
Dance spins
Step sequences
  • "and must not last over one measure of music" - for those of us who are not musically inclined, what does one measure mean? Is there something you can link to, or just say that this usually lasts a certain amount of time? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:24, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Added Bar (music) link.
Twizzles
  • "completed at the same time (simultaneously) by both partners," - I would just choose one word, I prefer "simultaneously" « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:24, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
That's what the quote says. I guess the ISU didn't want any question about what they meant.
Choreographic elements
  • "Both parts must be on either one foot, two feet, or a combination of both." - need some clarification on this, does it mean that once they start say on one foot, than the whole element has to be done on one foot? If so, maybe clarify this.
I think I've done this.
  • "Choreographic sliding movements can be performed at anytime during the program, are movements in which both partners perform controlled sliding movements on the ice." - "Choreographic sliding movements, which can be performed at anytime during the program..." « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:24, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Oh no, a missing which! Thanks for the catch. ;)
Images
I thought about including an image in the lead, but I was thinking that it'd give one element WP:UNDUE weight over another. Do you think that's important? If not, I can add another image, probably of a twizzle, since that's my favorite ice dance element. Or can you think of a solution that wouldn't give an aspect of the article more emphasis?
References
  • Reference 1 should be probably done differently. I would recommend using the {{Efn}} template. You can create inline citations listed under a References section that connect to one source. This makes is easier to cite pages from one source. You can see how this is done in an article I worked on: Packers sweep. Let me know if you have any questions, but I think this would be better than having the page numbers and reference separately stated in the article.
Yah, I never liked the Efn template, mostly because the eye naturally goes to it when looking at the ref list, and because it requires another click. I personally prefer the rp template because all the reader has to do is to sweep over the ref and look at the page number. I'd rather not change it to your preferred style, since mine fulfills the criteria and it's all a matter of preference.
  • All other references look good.
Overall
Thanks, it's nice to have a sports expert look this over. The only sport I can claim to know a lot about is figure skating, so thanks for your perspective. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 04:26, 16 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Nice work Figureskatingfan! This all looks good now. No problem with the ref templates. Regarding the photo, I don't think is provides any undue weight at all. If you have the photos to spare, I think having one in the lead helps to capture the reader. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:46, 16 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Thanks, Gonzo. I added 2 new images, to the lead and to the Choreographic elements sections. I appreciate your assistance. 17:06, 16 September 2018 (UTC)