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Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007 film) edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to receive advice on how to further improve it before nominating it for FA. Criticism and comments would be most appreciated.

Thanks, —Mizu onna sango15Hello! 05:03, 13 August 2008 (UTC).[reply]

Try adding info from the special features of the 2-disc special edition. If you have it. If not maybe I might help. I worked a little bit on that article around early-December (added some of those internet links alongside User:Alientraveller and User:Erik. You could get their opinion as well. —Wildroot (talk) 15:28, 13 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I don't own anything of the special edition, so I can't be of assistance with that, but maybe you could add information if you have it. Cheers, —Mizu onna sango15Hello! 22:14, 13 August 2008 (UTC).[reply]

Not to mention the plot section could be trimmed down a lot. There's also Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (ISBN 1845767047) that includes some in-depth making of the movie. More info might there. Could list that in a "Further Reading" section.—Wildroot (talk) 03:54, 18 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, as for the plot section, there's not much we could do about that; I already trimmed it down a bit (and so did EyeSerene), but although it exceeds the 900 word rule it seems to be allowable by WP:FilmPlot because the plot is somewhat more complex than others. However, if you can find a way to trim it down (we can't) without omitting major points in the sypnosis, please do!
As for the ISBN source, I'll try and incorporate that when I get the time. Thanks for the assistance. —Mizu onna sango15Hello! 18:09, 18 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I brought the plot section to six paragraphs. Not really finished yet. Didn't take too long. I'm somewhat busy trying to get Tim Burton's Batman to FA status. Two Burton films to FA status in the same month. That would be amazing.—Wildroot (talk) 01:13, 19 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I brought the plot down to four paragraphs, but you guys might one to check because I might have made an itty bitty mistake. —Wildroot (talk) 06:00, 19 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've made a few tweaks to clarify some of the plot points. Thanks for your help ;) EyeSerenetalk 16:57, 19 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Seems pretty good to me. Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

  • Watch overlinking - for example Mrs. Lovett is linked twice in just the lead.
  • In the cast section about Depp's character, there is a direct quotation without a ref (and a citation needed tag). I did not see any other missing refs, but my rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
  • The first two paragraphs of the Release section are both quite short - any reason they could not be combined?
  • Since there is so much discussion of Depp and Bonham-Carter's singing, would it help to include a brief sound clip, perhaps of a duet by them?
  • Watch odd language - tonsorial adornment??

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:05, 20 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Ruhrfisch. I've addressed a couple of the above points. However, with the various plot section revisions, we seem to have lost some information. Someone who knows the plot needs to take a look at the beggar woman's role; we can't just have her corpse appearing from nowhere in the final paragraph ;) EyeSerenetalk 08:24, 20 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]


Bzuk comments Since I have had the article on my watchlist for awhile, I have noted a lot of improvements. Some minor points to consider:

  1. Date format: December 21 2007 is written either December 21, 2007 or 21 December 2007. Note the use of commas. There are also at least two different date formats in use. For consistency, a single format is preferred.
  2. Wikilinking: Note that actors do not need to be constantly wikilinked, e.g. Johnny Depp (among others) is wikilinked four times in succession, where the first or possibly second mention is all that is needed.
  3. Citations: All publishers, whether book, new media or journal should be identified in italics, all title of works in quotation marks. Even though titles and pssages are often copied "as is", the use of all caps is deprecated.
  4. Common words: The use of wikilinking should only apply to what the reader would not normally understand or need to know in order to understand context, see "grooming", "propose" and "waltz" among others.
  5. Section formatting: The cast section could also have been written in a different way as cast-character precis. Where there is a large amount of information regarding a particular cast member that could be established as a secondary passage/paragraph at the conclusion of the cast section. The last templates should be reversed with the navigation templates to Tim Burton and Stephen Sondheim musicals appearing last.

FWiW Bzuk (talk) 03:51, 22 August 2008 (UTC).[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 19:31, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
Thanks very much Bzuk and Ealdgyth. I'll get to work on these issues over the next few days. EyeSerenetalk 08:47, 26 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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