Brianna Aloisio
|
Your request for help
editHello, Brianna, and thanks for your note on my talk page. I have replied there. --MelanieN (talk) 23:23, 16 July 2012 (UTC)
I think we should move the discussion here - because between the two names "YouthTrade" and "Youth Entrepreneurship and Sustainability", I think there IS enough independent coverage out there to justify an article. Examples of articles I found on searching (and by the way, the place to search is Google News Archive - put your search term into Google, click "news", and after you get to "news" click "archive):
- http://www.forbes.com/sites/marissafeinberg/2012/07/09/green-spaces-idea-bounce-hank-fieger/ from Forbes
- http://www.chron.com/business/press-releases/article/Whole-Foods-Market-and-Youth-Trade-to-Host-Young-3363226.php from the Houston Chronicle
- http://articles.boston.com/2012-05-26/business/31850474_1_young-entrepreneurs-products-new-businesses from the Boston Globe which you already have in the article
- there was something that appeared in the Times Online on June 10, 2010 but I can't get the link to load
IMO this is enough to establish that YouthTrade is notable. These are "reliable sources" as Wikipedia defines it, and the articles are substantially about the organization, not just passing mentions. So let's get to work on the article.
The first paragraph (the "lead") needs to be put into encyclopedic format. The first sentence should define what the article is about: "YouthTrade is a ... " (To see what I mean you could click on some of the "articles created" listed on my user page, and see how the first sentence reads.) The lead should definitely NOT be identical to the wording at other sites like FaceBook, as you currently have it; copy/pasting from other sites is a no-no. The lead should say that the organization is a project of Youth Entrepreneurship and Sustainability, or whatever the actual relationship is between the groups. If it has an actual partnership or formal relationship with Conscious Capitalism, it should say that too; if not we can mention CC later in the article. The lead should say where it is located and when it was founded. The Boston Globe article has an excellent description of what it does, which you could summarize in your own words - and then we can cite it to the Globe in a footnote. (Don't try to do that now, we'll worry about footnotes later!)
To make a section heading, use a pair of equal signs like this ==Section heading== instead of bolding. Delete that "ambox" line; if you do the section headings this way, it will automatically create an index.
Delete the "members" section, although you can mention the CEO somewhere in the article if you want. Again, the Boston Globe article gives a good summary of how he came up with the idea
Rewrite the "retailers" and "countries" section to be in prose, a description of who is working with the organization and in what countries.
That's enough to start on; we'll do references a little later. --MelanieN (talk) 15:15, 17 July 2012 (UTC)
- This is awesome! Thank you so much. I did the notes you put in so far and I couldn't find the lost link you were talking about but I put in the rest. When I google news search for us I realized there was a lot of mentions of YouthTrade when featuring a profile on one of our entrepreneurs, and a lot of these sites were media outlets from PR companies that the entrepreneurs have hired.
What's the next step?! Brianna Aloisio (talk) 20:11, 23 July 2012 (UTC)Brianna AloisioBrianna Aloisio (talk) 20:11, 23 July 2012 (UTC)
OK, good, that's a start. (To indent a sentence here, don't put spaces; you saw how that makes a strange entry that runs the line right off the edge of the page. Instead, put in one or more colons. That will translate as one or more spaces. Weird, huh? I just did that to your comment above, for readability.)
So first let's clean up some of the things that didn't quite work. (I could go ahead and fix these things, but I want you to learn how to do it; you will hopefully be doing more editing here.)
- Don't use a subject heading for the lead paragraph. For the bolding of the first words, don't use equal signs; use three apostrophes, like this: '''YouthTrade''' is...
- Let's put "YouthTrade was founded in 2011 and is located in Cambridge, MA." as the third sentence, part of the first paragraph. Spell out Massachusetts and put double brackets around Cambridge, Massachusetts to make a Wikilink - a link to the Cambridge, Massachusetts article. Do the same for Youth Entrepreneurship and Sustainability which has an article here.
- Make the information about where the idea came from into a separate introductory paragraph (use two returns to make a paragraph break).
- For the subject headings, be sure to put in a return after the subject heading, don't run it into the sentence. (That's why "mission" didn't work.)
- You shouldn't have to write down the index. The system should create its own index once you have subject headings.
- Try to see if you can make the the "Entrepreneurs" section into a sentence or paragraph, maybe with a little information for context (not promotional though), instead of just a plain list. If you can link some of the entrepreneurs to their countries or set them in historical context, so much the better. "The first entrepreneur accepted into the program was Proxy Apparel in Senegal. Others added in the first year included Farmer's Crate, Global Village Fruits..." etc. Maybe we will be able to use some of those media links to individual entrepreneurs that you found.
- You can add a section after References called ==External links== and put the organization's website there, with a * in front of it which will produce bullets like I am doing here. If you just put the website URL it will work, but it's a little more elegant to give it a title. To do that, put a space after the URL and put in the title you want, and then put single brackets around the whole thing. Example: [http://qfuse.com/s/youthtrade/our-mission Official website] will come out Official website.
- For media links we will need to use Reliable Sources like newspapers - not press releases unless there is no other source for important information.
- Don't feel bad if you have to "save page" half a dozen times, each time fixing something else that didn't quite work.
Keep working on it and let me know when you are ready for the next step! --MelanieN (talk) 02:53, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- P.S. I'm puzzled about something. Your talk page here isn't making a "contents" list even though you have subheadings. My talk page does. I don't know why yours doesn't. I wonder if there is something in your defaults that prevents it? I'll ask around. --MelanieN (talk) 03:03, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- OK, I found out. Not to worry. A table of contents will start to appear when you have a few more section headings. --MelanieN (talk) 03:31, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
Hi!
editHello! Brianna Aloisio,
you are invited to join other new editors and friendly hosts in the Teahouse, an awesome place to meet people, ask questions, and learn more about Wikipedia. Please join us! ... And yes, it's ok to bring a friend. Rosiestep (talk) 02:51, 19 July 2012 (UTC)
|