Template:Did you know nominations/Herb Mitchell (actor)
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 23:12, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
Herb Mitchell (actor) edit
- ... that actor Herb Mitchell portrayed Tevye in stage productions of Fiddler on the Roof, excluding a New York City one that he was offered to perform in but then declined?
- ALT1: ... that actor Herb Mitchell turned down a chance to perform as Tevye for a New York City production of musical Fiddler on the Roof?
- Reviewed: William Kurtz
Created/expanded by George Ho (talk). Self nom at 17:26, 12 August 2012 (UTC)
- Article is new enough and long enough, and well supplied with footnotes.
- I have a concern that the article reads a bit like an obituary (for example, there is heavy emphasis on family details), rather than an encyclopedia article, and needs some copy-editing -- which should include re-checking of the sources. I have not finished checking for close paraphrasing (mostly because duplication detector stopped working).
The proposed hooks are inaccurate or misleading. They imply that he was offered a role in the first New York City production of this musical. However, from the source it appears that, after playing the role in community theater (after the show had played on Broadway), he was invited to perform in Brooklyn. This was "a" New York City production, and the invitation was clearly an opportunity for him, but it is not "the" New York City production. I've edited the wording in the article. Either the hooks should be revised or new hook fact(s) chosen. --Orlady (talk) 04:14, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
- Changed "the New York (City)" to "a Brooklyn". --George Ho (talk) 04:28, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
- Removed the "fixed" template in the above line, since it appears to be a DYK approval tick, but isn't. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:10, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
- Changed "the New York (City)" to "a Brooklyn". --George Ho (talk) 04:28, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
After reading all history logs and substantial comparisons between them, I think I'm giving Orlady some credit for making it more encyclopedic. - [EC] And here I thought I was only copy-editing! (Also note that a lot of my edits involved fixing mistakes I had made in earlier edits...) I've changed the hooks to say "a New York City production", since Brooklyn is part of NYC and it apparently was an off-Broadway production. I find the original hook unacceptably awkward, but I think that ALT1 is OK (and supported). I think it could be given more pizzazz though, for example:
- ALT2 ... that, after his first-ever performance as an amateur actor, Herb Mitchell was offered a chance to play Tevye in a New York City production of musical Fiddler on the Roof, but turned it down?
- And here's a hook based on another thing I found interesting about Mitchell (less compelling, but cute):
- ALT3 ... that Herb Mitchell, a former stockbroker who became an actor, performed in commercials as spokesman for a brokerage firm?
Somebody else does need to review this now. --Orlady (talk) 17:42, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
- [EC] And here I thought I was only copy-editing! (Also note that a lot of my edits involved fixing mistakes I had made in earlier edits...) I've changed the hooks to say "a New York City production", since Brooklyn is part of NYC and it apparently was an off-Broadway production. I find the original hook unacceptably awkward, but I think that ALT1 is OK (and supported). I think it could be given more pizzazz though, for example:
I don't understand the original hook, to be honest. Alt1 is boring but checks out. Alt2 also checks out, as does Alt3. Secretlondon (talk) 21:07, 29 August 2012 (UTC)
