Brandon's Peer Review :) edit

Untitled edit

I'll try to be straightforward and nice. I know my sandbox isn't near completion so if anyone should take be taking advice it's probably me.

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment edit

  This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 7 January 2019 and 27 April 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Peer reviewers: Brandonmp5.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 04:47, 18 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

So I'm going to give you some feedback based on the criteria the training module highlighted edit

Lead section that is easy to understand edit

Right off the bat I want to highlight a typo, you refer to your artist as a male in this sentence: Serpa was well known for his geometric abstractions. Your lead right now is straightforward and does tell me who your artist is and what their style can be classified as but I think it still needs to explain more about her work sort of like what she expresses in her art and what sentiments inspire her work.

Clear structure edit

Notable works has a paragraph that is about the context of her work during the era she painted in. I think that part should go in a different section or should be shortened to be more about the work itself, not so much the context the artwork falls into.

Balanced coverage edit

Probably needs more citations and viewpoints, some sections seem like it could be paraphrasing.

Neutral content edit

She does this as a critical response to consumer society and sexual repression as a result of Brazil's military dictatorship. I think this sentence could use a source in order to maintain the article as neutral or another section of this article to explain why and how the Brazilian government was oppressing women.

Reliable sources edit

I'm sure more sources will be added later on so the fact that right now it's based on two sources won't be an issue in the future. The first is an artistic editorial from what I can gather, and the page has that it's a review of an exhibition, so might want to make sure it's not biased. --Brandonmp5 (talk) 09:48, 19 February 2019 (UTC)Reply