Talk:June 2020 Pennsylvania–New Jersey derecho

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A Commons file used on this page or its Wikidata item has been nominated for deletion

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• June-2020-derecho.png

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Requested move 11 August 2022

The following is a closed discussion of a requested move. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. Editors desiring to contest the closing decision should consider a move review after discussing it on the closer's talk page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

The result of the move request was: not moved. The naming convention causing the order to not be alphabetical has been sufficiently explained. Trying to challenge this convention is beyond the scope of a single RM. (closed by non-admin page mover) — Ceso femmuin mbolgaig mbung, mellohi! (投稿) 13:53, 18 August 2022 (UTC)

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June 2020 Pennsylvania–New Jersey derecho → June 2020 New Jersey–Pennsylvania derecho – I would like to alphabetize the states listed in the title. — Red-tailed hawk _(nest) 06:38, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

• Inclined to oppose: the derecho started out in Pennsylvania and then moved into New Jersey, and that's reflected in the current title. Dekimasuよ! 15:40, 11 August 2022 (UTC)
• Inclined to oppose for similar reasons as Dekimasu. Looking at List of derecho events, we typically name the storm pages in order of the states/regions through which they progressed, not in alphabetical order, and this particular storm began in northwestern Pennsylvania. — GhostRiver 16:38, 11 August 2022 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:June 2020 Pennsylvania–New Jersey derecho/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 21:58, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:58, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Sources are reliable.

• For the images, appropriate licenses are asserted for all but one component of the radar image. For "Radar imagery from the NWS NEXRAD radar data database" how do we know what license that imagery is available under?
• Can we put a few words of explanation of both "derecho" and "mesoscale convective system" in the lead? Aside from anything else, we have "derecho" three times in the first two sentences. I think this is one of those cases where MOS:FIRST would say not to use the exact article title in bold. Perhaps "On the morning and early afternoon of June 3, 2020, a powerful derecho (a line of windstorms moving together) crossed Pennsylvania and New Jersey, causing four confirmed fatalities. It was the deadliest derecho in the region since 1950. / The storms were part of a mesoscale convective systems (a complex of associated thunderstoms) which formed just outside Oil City..."?

  Not the nominee, but  Done anyways. --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• Similarly "bow echo" is a bit too specialized to use without some inline explanation. Perhaps "Derecho storms are also known for the characteristic bow-like shape of their radar profile"?

   Done --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

  Looks like this is unchanged? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:47, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

  Oh, I must’ve forgotten. I’ll get to that then 74.101.118.197 (talk) 21:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• And again for "microburst". I see it redirects to "downburst"; should we use that term instead? How about "In Carlisle, Pennsylvania, which had avoided damage from the initial derecho, a microburst (a sudden strong, spreading downdraft) later in the evening caused extensive damage to trees and power lines"?

   Done --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• "The additional storms caused more delays, as the maintenance crew from Eldorado, Illinois, drove through torrential rainfall between Columbus, Ohio, and Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, on its way to Upper Merion Township." This seems an odd thing to say -- we are talking about a single crew's delay arriving as the cause of the overall delay to the repairs?

  Removed. Couldn't find a reason to keep it. --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

• We don't need the June 2012 link in the "See also" section; it's already linked in the article. To be honest I think you really only need the list article linked; the other two seem a bit random and can be accessed via the list article.

   Done --47.16.96.33 (talk) 19:49, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:30, 17 August 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for taking this on. A couple of points left above. Pinging the nominator, GhostRiver, who I know has been busy, in case they want to comment too.

Earwig finds no issues. Spotchecks:

• FN 5 cites "By 10:34 a.m. EDT, the squall line was moving into southeastern Pennsylvania, where the warm, humid temperatures would further destabilize the system". Verified.
• FN 23 cites "The fourth fatality occurred in Delaware County, where derecho winds topped live overhead power lines into a home, causing the building to catch fire. A second individual inside the house escaped": the source has "a man died after strong, straight-line winds knocked live power lines onto a home, causing the home to catch fire. A second man was able to escape the home". I think this is just about OK; these factoids are hard to paraphrase.

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:47, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

Last fix made; pass. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:07, 8 September 2022 (UTC)