Talk:Johnny Papalia

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Jaguar in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:Johnny Papalia/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 21:14, 21 February 2021 (UTC)Reply


I'll get to this soon, within a couple of days... ♦ jaguar 21:14, 21 February 2021 (UTC)Reply

Extradition
  • " Bluestein's Lakeview Club did more than $13 million a year" - earned
  • "On March 11, 1963, he was found guilty, and sentenced to 10 years despite coughing up blood due to the tuberculosis he contracted as a child" - what does him coughing up blood have to do with the sentencing?
Post-release
  • "While he was in jail, his father died on May 14, 1964, with his mother dying on July 27, 1970" - might flow better as His father died on May 14, 1964 while was in jail, while his mother died on July 27, 1970
  • "mobsters Vincenzo Cotroni and Paolo Violi were over-heard" - no need for the hyphen
  • "After the Rizzuto crime family were not re-paid" - same here
Death

"In November 1998, Murdock pleaded guilty to three counts of second degree murder, was sentenced to life imprisonment" - missing 'and'

I couldn't find many issues with this one. It's overall well-written and structured well, so once the above are clarified this too will be good to go.  jaguar 01:06, 28 February 2021 (UTC)Reply

@Jaguar: Done, thanks! Vaselineeeeeeee★★★ 03:17, 28 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
Thank you. Let's get this promoted.  jaguar 11:42, 28 February 2021 (UTC)Reply