Talk:Hedgehog's Dilemma (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hedgehog's Dilemma (Neon Genesis Evangelion)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 09:32, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments

A few small initial comments:

• In the first sentence, why not cut the "which is" - there's another "which" in the same sentence ...

Done

• Second Impact links to a disambiguation page, please relink it as desired.

Deleted. There's no article about it or series' terminology.

• In the quote box in Production, why not wikilink Hideaki Anno; in fact, why not add a title to the box, with something like "Series director Hideaki Anno's view"?

Done.

• In the image caption, why not wikilink Arthur Schopenhauer.

Done

• Since the Schopenhauer article is titled Hedgehog's dilemma, which matches the title here, why not link directly to that at least in the lead.

I added a Wlink.

• I guess a brief word somewhere in the Schopenhauer section about a slight taxonomic confusion between the two spiny mammal species would also be in order. (e.g. "variously called the hedgehog's or the porcupine's dilemma"). BTW the Italian "porcospino" makes a lot more sense than the English "porcupine"... Ah, I see this has been done further down in 'Cultural references'; perhaps that needs to be moved up or something.

I also added it in the lead.

• (Not part of the GA process - you might like to add a citation to the sentence about this episode of NGE in the Hedgehog's dilemma article.)

Done

• "a 5.8% rating" ... sounds very low (in fact extremely poor!), if the top score is 100% ... presumably that's not the case, so a brief gloss explaining the rating system would be helpful.

• "notices Shinji Ikari" - "notices that Shinji Ikari ... has run away" would be clearer. You might put the clause "a minor ... pilot," before "Shinji...", it would be more approachable.

• We suddenly meet Toji. Best introduce him first.

Done.

• First sentence in 'Cultural references and themes' - why not cut "which is" and "is".

Done.

• "Cavallaro noticed in the scene ... Van Gogh-style sunflowers appear" - would work better as "Cavallaro noticed that Van Gogh-style sunflowers appear in the scene ...".

Done.

• Maybe say that Bijan is writing on The Verge, and wikilink that.

Done.

• Anime News Network - please wikilink.

Done.

• Psychology Today - ditto.

Done.

• The 'Reception' section is barely mentioned in the lead, barring the incomprehensible rating ... I think we need a few sentences up there summarizing the critics' reactions.

• I see you've done this too, that's fine. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:34, 5 May 2021 (UTC)

OK, that's about it from me. An excellent article. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:16, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap: This is an issue that has come up elsewhere as well. Well, it means that 5% of the televisions in Japan were tuned to TV Tokyo, right? So, considering that TV Tokyo and associated channels are visible in only thirteen prefectures, less than half, that's a good result. I wouldn't know how to explain it, though. The sources just report a table and that's it, with almost no text. Do you have any advice? Is there a useful Wlink or other words to explain better?--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 20:41, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Aha, is that what it means. Well, why not just say "5% of televisions in Japan", to answer the reader's "5% of what?" question. You could add "(over 10% of the televisions in the areas that transmitted the program)" if there's evidence for that. Chiswick Chap (talk) 21:23, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap: Uh. Yeah. I tried with a simple " a 5.8% rating of audience share on Japanese TV". Can it fit? I have not found any sources on the local audience share.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 22:55, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Yes, that's fine. As all the items are now in order, I'm happy to pass this as a worthy GA. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:34, 5 May 2021 (UTC)

About the unreliable sources tag

Dani Cavallaro's publications have been designated as generally unreliable sources in this discussion at the reliable sources noticeboard. Citations to her work can be replaced with more high-quality ones or removed, and the tag can be taken off once complete. —TechnoSquirrel69 (sigh) 20:50, 6 June 2024 (UTC)