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"Mammadzada began playing chess at five years old. She became interested in the game from watching her grandparents play recreationally." → "Mammadzada began playing chess at five years old, having become interested in the game from watching her parents play professionally."
"she defeated two Grandmasters in Valentina Gunina who was rated 2509 and Koneru Humpy who was rated 2577." → "she defeated two Grandmasters: Valentina Gunina, who was rated 2509, and Koneru Humpy, who was rated 2577."
Move "despite being the third-lowest rated player out of twelve in the field" to before "She had an excellent result in the round-robin tournament". When I first read it as is, I was confused why she was the third-lowest but had an "excellent" result; reordering will help understand the flow in this way
"to finish in fifth place on the second board behind only male players." → "to finish in fifth place on the second board, the highest place of any female entrant."
I'd rather leave it because I feel like alternate ways to write it don't make it clear that it's just among players on the second board (not all of the players in the whole tournament). Sportsfan77777 (talk) 03:49, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
"Mammadzada's chess idol is Magnus Carlsen, and her other childhood chess idol was Judit Polgár." → "Mammadzada's chess idol is Magnus Carlsen, and she has also named Judit Polgár. as an inspiration." (best guess from the machine translation about how to get at the heart of what you're trying to say without repeating "chess idol")
Putting on hold for now to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with questions, and please let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 00:47, 26 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the review, GhostRiver! I addressed everything above, agreed with most things. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 03:52, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
Re-pinging GhostRiver because I think I messed up the ping the first time. Apologies if you get notified twice. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 03:58, 29 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
Thank you for making those changes, passing now! — GhostRiver 01:24, 31 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
