Talk:Elvira "Pixie" Palladino
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Severe problems with the writing
editMost of the page probably needs a complete rewrite from whatever basic facts it's trying to communicate. Some examples where the prose just doesn't make any sense:
- "Palladino insisted racial prejudice contributed to her opposition to busing" followed by a quote that doesn't mention race. In the context of the rest of the article, maybe this meant to say that "she insisted racial prejudice did not contribute..." followed by a "however" statement showing an opposing claim. Right now it doesn't really mean anything.
- "On September 8, 1965, at McKay Elementary School, Palladino met with Lucille Roberts and seventeen other ROAR members (with one male member), "who came to protest in the name of 'fredom of choice' and constitutional rights of assembly" Who is Lucille Roberts? She's not otherwise mentioned on this page and it's not clear what her role in the controversy was. What is the relevance of the gender balance of the people present? What event were they claiming violated their constitutional rights to freedom of choice and assembly?
- The chronology of the paragraphs about her being voted off the ROAR board is out of order and goes into a discussion of voting procedure before explaining who wanted her to leave the board and why.
In general there needs to be a much more organized, direct flow to this page so that it becomes more coherent. Predestiprestidigitation (talk) 04:03, 16 December 2023 (UTC)
Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
edit
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 8 January 2019 and 16 April 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): M weth.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:39, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Review
editLooking good! I did some copyediting and might have left a few templates. Next steps could include:
- improving the prose for clarity and concision
- infobox
- categories
- maybe a photo (?)
- once it's live, make sure it's not a Wikipedia:Orphan
- why do you have notes and references?
-Reagle (talk) 14:30, 15 February 2019 (UTC)
@Reagle: Hi Professor Reagle, thanks for your suggestions, I'll work on them later. Just wanted to clarify really quickly, I used References before I understood how Notes (Citations) worked. I plan on getting rid of the References citation, but want to incorporate relevant links before I do so.
-M weth (talk) 15:02, 15 February 2019 (UTC)
Peer Review
editHi! Agreed- looking good! Enjoyed reading and just made some minor copyediting changes as well. My only suggestion would be to add a media element (if possible), as Prof. Reagle has suggested above.
-K8c0nway (talk) 10:29, 12 March 2019 (UTC)
This is so comprehensive! It looks fantastic. I think it could benefit from sub-sections or headings, particularly in the ROAR and Career sections- maybe by decade, or by individual "notable" event? In the past, I've seen people with name changes identified as "New Name (Born Old Name)" - so potentially "Pixie Palladino (Born Elvira [Maiden Name])." I mention this only because she legally changed her name, so it might make sense to refer to her as Pixie. Not confident that that's the way it should be handled, though!