Talk:Dark Ballet

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Dark Ballet/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 15:55, 19 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox

• Needs alt
• Can you get the cover from a more reliable source? It is also dead

The source is from a website only accesible from the United States. I have changed it (since the cover is essentially the same)

Lead

• Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Inspired by the historical figure Joan of Arc → Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky and was inspired by the historical figure Joan of Arc
• with vocodered vocals → with the vocals making use of a vocoder.
• that talk about rebelling against the patriarchy. → the vocals talk about this?
• critics → music critics

Background and composition

• who served → who was
• with vocodered vocals → with the vocals making use of a vocoder.
• vocoder vocals that talk → I understand what you are saying but this is no way of saying it

Both of these points have been  Done; "...with the vocals making use of a vocoder and lyrics that talk about..."

I ammended the "talking lyrics". MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:51, 22 May 2020 (UTC)

Reception

• critics → music critics
• "Kafkaesque" → can you further more? I have no context

That was the critic's thought of the song. I have the same context as you LOL, but I have now mentioned he was referring to the lyrical themes.

• Also negative was → remove as you already mentioned it before

Music video

• Madonna served as co-director → According to Blanco, Madonna served as co-director
• Blanco's then seen dancing → Blanco is then seen dancing
• gold corset similar → gold corset, similar
• one the singer wore → one Madonna wore

Live performances

• "Dark Ballet", known then as "Beautiful Game", → any source claiming "Beautiful Game" became "Dark Ballet"

There are no sources that explicitly state "Beautiful Game" was retitled "Dark Ballet", but the Billboard source cites the lyrics

@Chrishm21: Take a look at the first Idolator souce on the article. The one I told you to wikilink. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:50, 22 May 2020 (UTC)

• did a choreography → perhaps "performed a choreography" ?
• Madame X Tour → run years?

I think the phrase "that same year..." after mentioning the 2019 Eurovision contests implies the year the tour began (2019), there's no need to repeat it. But let me know

Sure, but when it ended?

Mentioned in the lead paragraph

Why not here? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:46, 22 May 2020 (UTC)

• In one point → At one point

Credits and personnel

• If there is no more information available.

There is not. Same as "God Control".

Remove the Gfenius source, it is no t reliable for this, use liner notes, Tidal...never Genius for this

Charts

• See and use Template:Single_chart#Non-Billboard_charts

I don't really understand how that template works; would you mind explaining? @MarioSoulTruthFan:--Christian (talk) 15:50, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

You remove what you have and copy like its there. I can't explain more than that MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:37, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

A fellow user helped me, hope it's OK--Christian (talk) 18:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

References

• Wikilink first instance of Idolator

External links

• Fine

Overall

• Don't address any comments until I say so. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:54, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
• There is a huge problem with copyright violations. NME, NewNow Next and CNN. Needs to be re-writen using your own words. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:16, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: May I know the percentage of copyright violation?? CNN and NME are literally just one quote (both reviews of the song/video), and I'm sorry but I don't see the problem with NewNowNext as I didn't copy-paste anything (unless you're talking about the quotes featured on the video. those cannot be rewritten "in my own words")--Christian (talk) 21:22, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I have noticed the problem: some quotes from the article: Madonna's explanation of the song that I took from Rolling Stone, the quotes from the music video and other small stuff - i.e "inspired by Joan of Arc", "music video directed by Emmanuel Adjei" - are repeated on those articles (CNN, NewNowNext, NME). What do you suggest I do? --Christian (talk) 21:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

You don't need to re-write everything, but there is always a way of re-write stuff, she is not clamiming something you can't say in other words. For instance, she explained: "[Joan of Arc] fought the English and she won, still the French were not happy [...] Still they judged her. They said she was a man, they said she was a lesbian, they said she was a witch, and, in the end, they burned her at the stake, and she feared nothing. "." → she explained that even after Joan of Arc won the fight against the English, the French were not pleased and "judge her". They affirmed she was a man, a lesbian, a witch, and "burned her at the stake", despite her being fearless. Madonna concluded, "I admire that". Something in this vein. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 13:13, 22 May 2020 (UTC)

It is all done @MarioSoulTruthFan:! Thank you for the advice, I will definitely put it to use on future articles!!--Christian (talk) 14:00, 22 May 2020 (UTC)