Talk:Burundi at the 2008 Summer Olympics

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Retrohead in topic Possible improvements on copyediting

Possible improvements on copyediting edit

NickGibson3900, here are some suggestions over the copyediting request that I'd like to receive feedback. I read at WP:GOCE/REQ that you intend to nominate this for FA, so here are some changes I consider "controversial" and would like to discuss with you.

  • Do you regard the country as "it" or "they"? Check "At their debut, the country sent...", where I think its would be more adequate.
  • "participating in a summer games"–"a" is used for singular nouns; it can be "a summer game", but "a games" seems incorrect to me.
  • "Burundi's oldest competitor, At age 35, Nshimirimana was the country's oldest competitor"–I think that the italicized words can be safely omitted without the sentence losing its meaning.
  • Niyonizigiye was 19 years old at the time of her participation in the 2008 Olympics–I think the italicized clause can be dropped with the sentence keeping its meaning.
  • During the qualification round of her event→also omit the italicized words.
  • one women competing in the sport of swimming –omitting italicized words
  • Another note that you'll probably receive at the FAC is that the lead shouldn't contain exclusive information. I haven't noticed the information about the flag bearer in the article's body.
Alright, that would be all from me here. Another advice would be to lose the spaces in the citation templates because they make it hard editing the prose. There might be some notes about the odd linking here. For example, when I click on Russia in the 'Women's competition' I expect the link to go to Russia as Zadorozhnaya's country, not to Russia at the 2008 Summer Olympics. I'm not 100% sure about this, so you might want to ask some editor who's more into this topic.--Retrohead (talk) 13:12, 1 November 2014 (UTC)Reply