Talk:Ayoreo

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Rolandcharlotte in topic Suggestions

Peer Review

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Hey, I'm peer-reviewing this article. Overall it's really good, there are just two things I noticed:

  • It says infanticide has been practiced "for various reasons." I feel like that deserves a little more detail.
  • When a lot of organizations are listed in Spanish, it might be helpful to also give English translations.

But, like I said, it's overall very well-done. ModestMoussorgsky (talk) 19:29, 5 April 2015 (UTC)Reply

Suggestions

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This is a solidly organized article, and a good place for someone to find an introduction to the Ayoreo people. Here are some suggestions for improvement and expansion.

  • Some of the names listed under Name and language are words for the entire people and some are names of subgroups within them. See [1]. Add the sentence about seven clans into its own section listing them.
  • The information on land loss is fascinating, but could probably be placed into a land and territory section. On the Bolivian side, the Ayoreo have four titled Native Community Lands, which are listed in this chart: [2] (Don't be intimidated by the minimal Spanish, and use translate.google.com if you need to.) Here's the citation: Fundación Tierra (2011). Territorios Indígena Originario Campesinos en Bolivia: Entre la Loma Santa y la Pachamama. La Paz: Fundación Tierra.
  • Who are the leaders of CANOB and UNAP?
  • Is there an Ayoreo education system?
  • Could you make a section describing their traditional religion and the process of evangelization by Christians?

--Carwil (talk) 14:28, 8 April 2015 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review: The introduction to the article is very good! I think it does a job of hitting the major points without going to extensively into any one aspect of the topic yet. Under the culture section, I would clarify if the connection is known as Eami or if the territory is. It is a little bit unclear what "known" refers to there. I would also include what time period the records of infanticide were from. Also, when you talk about youth and scholarships, I would use "desire" or "need" instead of "wish". There are maybe a few word choice issues like this, but overall this is a very good article. The way the sections are divided is logical and flows well and I can tell that your research is strong. Good job! --Rolandcharlotte (talk) 15:19, 8 April 2015 (UTC)Reply