Talk:1928 World Snooker Championship

Latest comment: 2 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:1928 World Snooker Championship/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 08:14, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply

Will review MWright96 (talk) 08:14, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Lead edit

  • "with three of the other matches played there, and one each played in Leamington Spa and Nottingham." - repetition of "played"
  • "Davis had won the professional billiards title earlier in May, and became the first person to hold both the professional snooker titles consecutively," - repetition of "title(s)"
  • Amended - to "Davis had won the professional billiards championship earlier in May, and became the first person to hold the professional titles in billiards and snooker titles concurrently" BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:25, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "compiled by Alec Mann in the third frame of his match against Albert Cope." - please state which round this was
  • Wikilink the term frame to the relevant article

Background edit

  • "Entry fees would be used to provide prize money for the finalists, with 60% going to the champion." - should be per cent per MOS:PERCENT
  • "The venue for the semi-finals and final was to be Camkin's Hall, Birmingham, with those matches supervised by the Midland Counties Billiard Association, and the players concerned would be left to arrange the venues for earlier rounds." - repetition of "venue(s)"
  • Both done. (Changed the second instance of "venue" to "location.") BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:29, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply

Summary edit

  • The term interval will be better off wikilinked to the correct article
  • I'm a bit stuck for a target here. It doesn't appear in the Cue Sports Glossary (nor does "mid-session break"); none of the options at Interval seem right, and nor does Intermission (after looking at that article). BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:47, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "and added the almost-50-minute-long 22nd frame." - the hyphens in bold are not needed
  • "From 5-9," - dash should be replaced by an en dash per MOS:DASH
  • "but Lawrence progressed by securing the first three frames on the final day"" - which round did Lawrence progress to?
  • Added "to the final against Davis"
  • Wikilink professional English billiards championship to the relevant article

Final edit

  • "Lawrence and Davis shared the frames in the afternoon session for 2–2," - the opening four frames
  • Wikilink potting to the relevant article only on the first mention
  • "termed a "woefully weak shot" allowed Davis a chance." - please clarify at the end of this sentence
  • Amended to "a 'woefully weak shot' when he was attempting to pot the blue ball failed. Directly after this, Davis made a break of 18."
  • "Lawrence was 26 behind after all the red balls had been potted," - 26 points
  • "Davis became the first player to win the professional billiards and snooker titles" - claim both the
  • "in the same season.[24]The highest break" - a space is missing between the reference and the word "The"
  • "The highest break of the final was a 44 by Davis on the third evening." - in which frame was the break of 44 made?
  • Changed source to one that includes this info; amended text to "The highest break of the final was a 44 by Davis in the 24th frame, the last of the third evening." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:12, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply

References edit

  • References 3, 4, 8, 9, 17, 18, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26 and all the ones in Reference 29 might need the page numbers added

Am putting the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 13:30, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • Many thanks for conducting the review and for your helpful comments, MWright96. Let me know about anything else that needs to be done. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:26, 14 June 2021 (UTC)Reply