Justus edit
Toolbox |
---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take it to FAC at some point and am looking for prose help, as well as help with finding any missing context that might be needed for a non-medievalist. Ealdgyth - Talk 18:50, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
Thanks, Ealdgyth - Talk 18:50, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
Colin's comments: I know very little English history so amply qualify as a non-medievalist. Here's some initial comments from the first two parts. More later if this is helpful.
- "was the fourth Archbishop of Canterbury, in England." The ", in England" jarrs. Is it necessary? We mention England a few words later, just in case anyone doesn't know where the Archbishop of Canterbury lives.
- "sent to England". I'm now wondering "from where?"
- "Gaul" may be worth wikilinking.
- "a native Italian". Do we need "native"? Do we know anything about where he was born or where he lived prior to coming to England?
- "books brought to England by Mellitus". I don't know who Mellitus is. I see it is wikilinked later but I need it here. I see from his article that he was believed to have come on the 601 mission too, which explains why he is being mentioned in connection with the books Justus travelled with. Can we give some context here?
- Just noticed the article spells "traveled" with one "l". Is this written in US English? Just asking.
- I'm not really following the point about "but examination of...one possible survivor". Why the "but"?
- "Along with the letter to Augustine" why "the letter", not "a letter"?
- "the returning missionaries" I'm confused about "returning". I thought they came to Britain, not returned to Britain?
- this paragraph came from another article (easier than retyping the whole big lot!) but a couple of typos obviously occurred. One of the 601 missionaries was actually returning (Laurence) but the others were new. Easier to just remove the "returning" from here, where it is unneccessary detail (the article it came from was Laurences, obviously). Ealdgyth - Talk 19:11, 5 December 2009 (UTC)
- "force the conversion of his followers" Is "followers" the right word? Doesn't a king have "subjects"?
- "Subjects" has a connotation that isn't quite correct in the early medieval period, especially here. The nobles, etc. were more "followers" than "subjects", as they could (and did) desert these kings (who were really not able to enforce their will on the peasants) so followers is a bit more correct. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:11, 5 December 2009 (UTC)
Colin°Talk 22:46, 1 December 2009 (UTC) More:
- "The King was also urged to destroy all pagan shrines" I'm wondering why this is a separate sentence rather than just run on from the previous as "and destroy all pagan shrines". Did that urging come from someone else, or was that behaviour not "like the Roman Emperor Constantine I"?
- Did they succeed? Did the king convert his subjects and destroy the shrines?
- "another of the missionaries who was Bishop of London" this reads like there were several missionaries who were "Bishop of London". Do you mean something like "who was another of the missionaries and who was Bishop of London"?
- Wikilink "Frankish"?
- "He then consecrated Romanus as his successor" a little ambiguous if "he" is Justus or Boniface, particularly when Boniface's actions continue to be described in the following sentence with an "also" linking back.
- Clarified it as Justus.
- Do we know why he was regarded as a saint?
- No clue. No sign of miracles being attributed to him like Mellitus, nor any other idea. Pre-congregation saints are ... shadowy. I've added that he's pre-congregation to the infoboxEaldgyth - Talk 17:52, 6 December 2009 (UTC)
- How long is the poem about him? If short, could it be reproduced here or linked to?
- Can we wikilink "Reginald of Canterbury"
- What a shame we only know bits of his life and not even the year of his death.