Wikipedia:Peer review/History of the National Hockey League (1967–1992)/archive1
History of the National Hockey League (1967–1992) edit
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is the third article of a series, the first two of which have reached featured status. Likewise, I intend to nominate this article once this PR is complete. I'm finding that after each article I write, the quality of the prose is improving, but as always, there are areas that will need an objective look. All feedback is appreciated. Resolute 20:47, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
- Just a note, that I will not be copyediting this one as I've written too much of it to have fresh enough to see where to correct stuff. Maxim(talk) 22:10, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)
- You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- You've mixed using the Template:Citation with the templates that start with Cite such as Template:Cite journal or Template:Cite news. They shouldn't be mixed per WP:CITE#Citation templates.
- Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:16, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
- Ahh, the joy of two different people with two editing styles collaborating. Correcting this. Thanks, Resolute 15:58, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.
- Article is in need of a copyedit - for example, in the lead there is an extra the and the word "compete" is used twice in one sentence This continued expansion was partially
thebrought about by the NHL's attempts to compete with the World Hockey Association, which operated from 1972 until 1979 and sought to compete with the NHL for markets and players. could be something like This continued expansion was partially brought about by competition for markets and players between the NHL and the World Hockey Association, which operated from 1972 until 1979. Or missing words in the Overview section After several years of discussion, the NHL announced in February 1966 that [it would?] expand by six teams, doubling the league's size. - Does Canada have Freedom of panorama? The photo of the Gretzky statue is probably copyright by the artist - if there is no freedome of panorama, then a fair use rationale is needed (and the image should be on Wikipedia, not Commons)
- Maybe it is becasue I ma neither Canadian nor a huge hockey fan, but I am not sure I see the need for the Summit Series section to be as large as it is. While I understand this used Canadian NHL players, these were not official NHL games and they did not use non-Canadian NHL players. I am not saying that it should be eliminated, but 8 games get more coverage here than almost any other topic in the article - does this meet WP:WEight?
- Images look OK, but I would make better use of colors in the Timeline chart. For example, when a team is moved, I think it should stay the same color - if the California Golden Seals and Cleveland Barons were the same color, then I think it would be clearer that it was the same team that moved.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:02, 15 October 2008 (UTC)