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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Myst IV: Revelation

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 00:34, 19 September 2008 [1].

Myst IV: Revelation edit

Nominator(s): David Fuchs


Yes, you had your reprieve from video games in general and the Myst series in particular, but I told you the reprieve would only last a little while... :P but look on the bright side, before I inflict the last Myst title on you in the future, you might get lucky and have another non-video-game FAC from me :) --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 21:12, 7 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments zOMG video games! Where are the hurricanes?! :)
  • Sources look good. Links check out with the link checker.
  • Wall enjoyed working with Gabriel, and hoped that he would be able to collaborate with him on future projects. I'm not sure of how relevant this is.
  • Overall, Revelation was received positively by critics, with the game garnering 82% and 81% averages on Metacritic and Game Rankings, respectively "With" is a poor connecting word per MoS.
  • Looks good otherwise. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 21:29, 7 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Fine: we'll make a deal: don't put any hurricanes at FAC, and I won't do any video games :P Made the fixes. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 21:36, 7 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Support Heh, I don't know if I can keep a promise like that. ;) in any event, looks good, you have my support. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 01:33, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Images Look fine, box art non-free but well rationaled, screenshot falls under Ubisoft's free use on WP, though it probably could use a better caption as it currently talks about the reception of the graphics though its in the gameplay section. (And what, no Uru?) --MASEM 02:46, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Yeah, the caption is awkward. Incidentally, as the images are free (Ubisoft release), another one wouldn't hurt. Giggy (talk) 00:27, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:30, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Just Adventure is a fairly large, established web site which features an editor who screens all submissions and does fact-checking at least once before release of a preview/review/et al (walkthroughs and release information on games has another editorial process as well; the site refuses to refactor author opinions, but as the source is an interview this isn't an issue.) The source is being used only for the comments of the interviewee, not for opinions or facts stated in the interview by the publisher. UruObsession is a fan forum, however the source being quoted is Mary DeMarle, one of the project leads for Myst III: Exile; as she is an "expert" in Exile's development, it meets the requirements of WP:SPS. --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 13:55, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Heh. I'll leave these out for other reviewers to decide for themselves. I'm not a big fan of the "it's an interview, it must be reliable" argument, but it's borderline enough to let others decide. As for forum posts, I generally fall in the school of "don't use them" but again, that's me being more picky than the normal editor. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:59, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Just Adventure seems reliable enough for me, but I'm not exactly an expert on sources. I'm not entirely certain about the other one. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 14:06, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments, leaning oppose from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs). The prose really needs scrutiny by somebody else; if I get the time, I'll be happy to lend a hand.

  • "A few publications such as Computer Gaming World took issue with the control scheme of the game." "A few" is too vague to be a real help to readers, might as well get rid of it.
  • "Myst IV: Revelation is an adventure game, with the player experiencing all gameplay from the eyes of an unnamed protagonist." This sentence is unclear, is it implying that all adventure games have the player "experiencing all gameplay from the eyes of an unnamed protagonist", or is this a general feature of the game?
  • "players travel by clicking to set locations called 'nodes'"—I don't think the "to" is necesssary.
  • "The mouse cursor plays an important role in providing visual cues for player actions and movement." Couldn't "plays an important role in providing" be shortened to "helps to provide"?
  • "...the camera and journal save the player the task of copying down notes and clues onto paper as was often needed for previous Myst games." Does not flow well.
  • "Zip mode, the amulet, the camera, and the journal are constantly available via a menu on the bottom of the game screen."
  • "Years earlier, his two sons, Sirrus and Achenar, went rampant, destroying various linking books and imprisoning both Atrus and his wife Catherine." I don't understand what "went rampant" means.

Dabomb87 (talk) 23:45, 8 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Made the above fixes. Any help in copyediting would be appreciated :) Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:53, 9 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I did a little bit of copyediting; I left inline comments in the text, you may want to go over them. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:05, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've clarified the places you had comments. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 02:01, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, unfortunately I'm going to be busy today and tomorrow and will only have limited WP time during the weekend, so I don't think I can post comments and/or copyedit the article for some time. Dabomb87 (talk) 00:33, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Quick comment; considering the article isn't very long (23kb), a four paragraph lead seems very excessive. Giggy (talk) 00:26, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Did you note the image comments above?
  • "computer game series of adventure games" - possibly trim out the "game" repetition?
  • It's referred to as Myst IV at times, and Revelation at times. Be consistent.

Giggy (talk) 07:37, 10 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • "by clicking set locations called "nodes", which can be viewed 360 degrees in any direction" - maybe it's just me; the 360 degrees bit isn't making sense... can you explain/clarify what that basically means?
  • "Catherine hopes they have finally repented for their crimes" - who's Catherine?
  • I think italics should be added to the quote box in the Audio section (for the VG titles).

Yeah, not much more, generally looks good, close to supporting. Giggy (talk) 11:36, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Added the italics, clarified Catherine is Atrus' wife, and removed the 360 degrees part to clarify, hopefully. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:32, 11 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support. Looking good. Giggy (talk) 09:52, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support I couldn't find much. I unlinked some years that were linked when the month and day were not; beyond that, this looks pretty good. Erm, I think you should really slow down with the FAs so the rest of us can catch up! :D Gary King (talk) 22:55, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]


  • Note, there is hidden text in "Audio"; hidden text doesn't mirror, print, and creates accessibility issues. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 18:13, 18 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I could be wrong, but I don't see commented out text at all. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 18:52, 18 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
A Ctrl+F for <!-- finds nothing in the article. So yeah, per David. Giggy (talk) 22:40, 18 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Don't worry Giggy, I sorted it out :) Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs (talk) 22:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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