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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Fred Moosally

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by SandyGeorgia 02:32, 31 January 2009 [1].

Fred Moosally

edit
Nominator(s): Cla68 (talk)

Respectfully nominate this BLP about the former captain of the United States Navy battleship USS Iowa for FA consideration. The article passed an A-class review with WP:MILHIST. I could not find a birthdate for this article's subject. None of the sources had his birthdate and it wasn't listed in the Birthday Database. Self-nomination with greatly appreciated help from Maralia, ed17, Ched Davis, and Abraham B.S.. Cla68 (talk) 01:03, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments -

  • If the first section of the references is printed media, why is a website listed first?
Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:14, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I moved that cite to the web section [2]. Cla68 (talk) 21:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose on criterion 3 File:USS Kidd (DDG-993).jpg - This image is up for deletion. Once this issue is resolved, I will be happy to strike the oppose. Awadewit (talk) 19:46, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

An image with the same name is in Commons [3], so once the Wikipedia image is deleted, renamed, or transferred to Commons the Commons file will show. Cla68 (talk)
It looks like this is going to happen on 28 January or so. Waiting with bated breath. :) Awadewit (talk) 19:57, 23 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The new image is now in place [4]. Cla68 (talk) 02:52, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Striking oppose. Awadewit (talk) 02:54, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support presuming the image issue mentioned above gets cleared up. It was kind of Cla68 to mention my work on the article, but I only did a straightforward copyedit just prior to the nomination, so I think I'm sufficiently uninvolved to register my support. Maralia (talk) 05:30, 23 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support Comments - This is my 40,000th edit, FWIW :)
  • During his naval career, Moosally served in many different assignments, including as commander of a destroyer and the battleship USS Iowa. - Remove "as".
  • I wouldn't mind if the lead was expanded some, just enough so that the first and third paragraphs are equal in size to the second one.
  • The paragraphs in the Naval career section are pretty choppy. Is it possible to merge some of the shorter ones?
  • At 08:31 on April 19, Iowa prepared to engage in a main gun firing drill as Moosally and Johnson watched from the ship's bridge. - Specify the year.
  • The Retirement and media portrayal section feels somewhat like a time-line disguised as prose.

Looks good otherwise. –Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 21:51, 26 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • I believe I've responded to your concerns [5]. Cla68 (talk) 07:40, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Issues have been addressed. Comments
  • "Between September 1988 and January 1989, Iowa conducted little training with her main guns, in part because of ongoing, serious maintenance issues with the main gun turrets."
Reword? The use of "little" there is slightly confusing.
  • "Vogel, Steve (2001-03-18). "Deadly Blast Haunts Battleship's Skipper", Washington Post."
(In Notes, Printed media) Is it really necessary to link the date? (Though it doesn't show up with the cut&paste I did)
  • At 08:31 on April 19, Iowa prepared to engage in a main gun firing drill as Moosally and Johnson watched from the ship's bridge.
Any way to write this so you don't have to link to 24-hour clock?
  • Note Julian's comments on the Retirement and media portrayal section. Actually, I'd review all the section for timeline-y prose.
  • I would do a thorough c/e, but I'm short on time :) Icy // ♫ 22:40, 26 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've fixed your 2nd issue (the linked date), as well as a few date formats that were inconsistent with the rest (possibly my fault, as I'm used to international style on Navy articles). Maralia (talk) 01:42, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I believe I've addressed the remaining concerns [6]. Cla68 (talk) 02:59, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support now that the citation minor issues have been fixed. Good work! Karanacs (talk) 14:59, 30 January 2009 (UTC) Comments by karanacs. This is a well-done article and I am leaning towards support. Some questions and minor quibbles:[reply]

  • Need a citation after the quote and his "slap-on-the-back" personality.
  • Do we know what rank he received at commissioning?
  • I'm not that familiar with navy or ship jargon - what does this mean? difficulty in conning the ship through shallow water (conning?)
  • I'm not sure what this means either: was trained forward with its own mechanism
  • Need a citation at the end of the sentence with the quote "superbly fit"
  • Also need a citation at end of sentence with "most probably" quote - even if this means citations are duplicated in subsequent sentences, all quotes need an immediate citation.

(see also Lawsuit section for another uncited quote)

  • Any idea what he did between 1990 and 1997?

Karanacs (talk) 17:11, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • I believe I've addressed your concerns [7]. Conning does appear to be the correct word to use for that sentence. Cla68 (talk) 00:54, 30 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I learned a new word today :) Perhaps we can include the link to wiktionary? I suspect a lot of others won't understand that either. Karanacs (talk) 14:59, 30 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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