Poshycat

Welcome

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Gaza aid shipment

Hi Poshycat! I would like to suggest a change to your recent edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Gaza_flotilla_raid&diff=365759878&oldid=365759779

There has been an ongoing discussion to try and keep a NPOV in the lead. The change you made, when you added the good NY Times articles, seemed to accidentally make it less neutral.

I suggest you consider changing "were slain by Israeli forces" to "were killed by Israeli forces". Since slain is not as neutral as killed.

Alternatively you could say: "Nine passengers died in a skirmish that followed commandos boarding the vessel"

Cheers,

Zuchinni one (talk) 03:18, 3 June 2010 (UTC)