Article cleanup after copyedit, and potential rewrite

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This article came to my attention when looking through the copyedit backlogs as part of the GOCE Copy Editing Project Blitz. It appeared at first to be a decently harmless page that had some grammatical and punctuation issues, but it's a great deal more than that.

For one, the article's Biography section is not only poorly written in regards to Wikipedia's Manual of Style, it's entirely unsourced and looks like a good example of WP:BLPSELFPUB. The whole section lacks consistency and cohesion, and along with being unsourced, feels difficult to keep in the article entirely. It also almost entirely lacked wikilinks before my edit, and still likely has some I missed.

Additionally, the Equipment section is dubious and doesn't feel like it fits within a personal article about a person, and would fit better as either part of a band page or on pages related to the companies that produce the equipment used. I have already removed a couple of sections for feeling too close to endorsement or advertising, but as a whole I personally find it difficult to justify this section as part of the article.

Overall I feel like this article could do with being rewritten, but actually including reliable, secondary sources. If it weren't for the already existing sources helping this article cling to WP:SIGCOV by a thread, I wouldn't be opposed to deletion. However, I feel like there's enough coverage in existing references and that exist in reliable publications upon a cursory search that this article can remain, but it urgently needs to be written from scratch and ideally not have a significant portion written by (presumably) either the person in question, or someone related to them. SmittenGalaxy (talk) 22:14, 17 June 2024 (UTC)Reply