Talk:Pic-Nic

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pic-Nic/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

I think this article has been waiting at GAN for long enough! — GhostRiver 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

• "Contrary to popular belief, keyboardist Jordi Sabatés does not appear in any of the group's releases, as he joined the band after their only published recordings sessions had taken place." → "Although keyboardist Jordi Sabatés is often mentioned as a member of the band, he does not appear on any of the group's releases, having joined after their only published recording sessions had taken place."

Done

• "Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"

Done

• "Jeanette—an English girl that had" → "Jeanette, an English girl who had"

Done

• "EP" → "extended play"

Done

• ""Cállate niña,"" → ""Cállate niña"," per MOS:LQ

Done

History

Origins at Brenner's Folk

• "Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"

Done

• End first sentence after "Barangé", then say "Soler and Barangé had previously been part of Els Xerracs," and continue the sentence there

Done

• "spent her childhood in Los Angeles, until her parents divorced in 1962 and she moved" → "spent her childhood in Los Angeles until her parents' 1962 divorce, at which point she moved"

Done

• "featured a cover art"

Done

• "EP" → "extended play (EP)"

Done

• "what the genre consisted of" → "more about the genre" (don't end sentences in prepositions)

Done

Breakthrough with "Callate nina"

• "Vytas and Haakon's family" → "the Brenner family"

Done

• "Brenner's Folk's new formation" → "This new iteration of Brenner's Folk"

Done

• ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975."" → ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975"." per MOS:LQ

Done

• ""[resulted] from sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy."" → "resulted from "sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy"." per MOS:LQ

Done

• "too much of a foreign name" → "too foreign of a name"

Done

• "and Vytas and Haakon were no longer" → "and the eponymous Brenners were no longer"

Done

• Italicize Tele Ritmo as the name of a television program

Done

• ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds."" → ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds"." per MOS:LQ

Done

• Commas rather than em dashes around "starring Pili and Mili"

Done

• Cut "Despite popular belief"

Done

• ""solos..."" → ""solos ..."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS

Done

Break-up and aftermath

• Delink "school" per MOS:OVERLINK and MOS:EASTEREGG

Done

• "missing a lot of class" → "frequently missing class"

Done

• "fulfill her band obligations"

Done

• ""go to school..."" → ""go to school ...."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS

Done

• "Despite the repercussion" → "Despite the success"

Done

• "briefly tried to continue playing without her but were unsuccessful." → "briefly and unsuccessfully attempted to continue playing without her."

Done

• "where they got married" → "where they wed"

Done

Musical style

• "transformed their folk ballads into something unique" → "transformed their original folk ballads into something more unique."

Done

• No colon after "Pepe García Lloret described Pic-Nic's music as"

Done

• "on the contrary" → "as a corollary"

Done

• "Most of them" → "Most of these songs"

Done

• Commas rather than em dashes around "a Jeanette composition based on the traditional lullaby "Hush, Little Baby""

Done

Legacy

• considered a mythical band both vague and POV; considered by whom?

See corrections

• Considered uprecedented and ahead of its time by whom?

See corrections

• ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain."" → ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain"." per MOS:LQ

Done

• "various indie pop artists"

Done

• Efe Eme should be italicized as the name of a publication

Done

• "number thirty-seven" → "number 37" per MOS:NUMERAL

Done

• "number eighty-one" → "number 81" per MOS:NUMERAL

Done

• Commas rather than em dashes around "a reissue subsidiary of Spanish label Munster Records"

Done

• "number ninety-eight" → "number 98" per MOS:NUMERAL

Done

• Commas rather than em dashes around "who has cited Jeannette as one of her biggest influences"

Done

Discography

• Good

References

• Good

General comments

• Images are fair use or CC and are relevant
• Music samples are under 30 seconds and relevant
• No stability concerns in the revision history
• Copyvio score looks good, the only thing higher than 5.7% is from attributed direct quotes

Generally looks good – outside of some basic prose and MOS fixes, my biggest concern is in the Legacy section, where WP:WEASEL may apply, as claims are made generally about the band's status. Putting on hold now to allow nominator to address comments; feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 18:11, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

GhostRiver thank you so much for taking a look at the article! Regarding the main issues in the "Legacy" section, please let me know if I've fixed them correctly. --🩸 𝗕𝗹𝗲𝗳𝗳 🩸 (talk) 19:01, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

So much better, thank you! Very happy to pass! — GhostRiver 19:24, 1 November 2021 (UTC)