Talk:PAWS Chicago

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Edwinjosevega in topic edwinjosevega's peer review

MGurgo's Review edit

1. With the article, I was impressed by the lead sentence. It gets right to the point, explains why Paws Chicago was started and gives insight into what the article will be about. I also enjoyed the fact that you all included a decent amount of events that Paws have hosted. It shows they are a big enough organization to consistently support their message and shows they are known enough.

2. This particular phrase describes who/what Paws Chicago is in an efficient way: PAWS Chicago is a non-profit animal shelter organization based in Chicago, Illinois. Co-founded in 1997 by mother-and-daughter, Paula and Alexis Fasseas, the duo started the organization to combat the large problems with strays in Chicago

3. For this article, I would suggest adding a lot more information for history. There does not seem to be enough to describe enough of the history of Paws as the article jumps from 1997 to 2013 in an instant. Perhaps finding more notable sources on Paw's history would help out. I would also see about adding more/finding more information in relation to their recognition section. Perhaps this link will help with finding more information relating to that: https://chicago.suntimes.com/topic/paws-chicago/

4. Adding these changes would allow more information and description how the organization's history and recognition of the organization. Additionally, from these changes, you might find additional notable sources.

5. Overall though, the most important improvement would certainly be to add more to the history section. This way readers truly know what PAWS Chicago is and how they started along with why the organization is important. Perhaps as well to find a bit more notable sources as there are always never enough for them.

6. However, I do like the organization you have going with the article and might add it to my own describing my chosen non-profit. But, you could see about following the organization as this article has as I believe it looks good. The_Tonight_Show

MGurgo (talk) 01:27, 2 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Doctordre26's Peer Review edit

  • I love the way this is set up because there is a clear structure that is easy to follow because it includes the introduction, history, awards & recognitions, and events. Looking at the sources you all have a variety of great sources from the Chicago Tribune,Charity Navigator,Chicago Sun-times, etc.
  • A few changes I would suggest making are in the first paragraph about PAWS Chicago I would move the 3rd & 4th sentence to the History section because this is good information talking about how Paula and Alexis Fasseas got started on the organization. I would then add more information on the first section about what PAWS Chicago does and their missions & goals. Another suggestion would be moving the section awards & recognition to the bottom of the page because it would be a good way to end the article on PAWS Chicago.
  • The most important thing you all can do to improve the article would be citing more secondary sources so the material has neutral content instead of just content from the PAWS Chicago website.
  • Something I took from looking at your article that could be used onto mine would be finding more information on my own non-profit. From peer reviewing yours it made me realize how much information mine left out. You all covered all the important information on PAWS Chicago! There is a lot of information on this non-profit since it's been around for years and you all killed it with making sure you included a lot of it!

Doctordre26 (talk) 19:18, 5 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

edwinjosevega's peer review edit

Positive Feedback

  • I felt like the article does a good job having a clear organized structure. From the intro to the the rest of headings. It's in good order.
  • The lead is good. It gives good general information about PAWS' beginnings and why they started the organization.
  • There are some solid sources used with Chicago Sun-Times, Chicago Tribune, and Chicago RedEye, which helps maintain the organizations credibility.
  • The following sentences does a good job summing up the non-profit as a whole: PAWS Chicago was founded in 1997 by mother and daughter, Paula and Alexis Fasseas. They decided to start their own shelter that does not allow homeless pets to be euthanized. It tell what the organization is, who it is founded by, and what their mission is.

Suggested Improvements

  • For the article as a whole, work on tightening up the language as a whole. More specifically, being specific for the things that are being said. For instance, in the intro section, it is mentioned that the issue regarding animal shelters that PAWS seeks to overcome is the issue of pets being euthanized. It is said, but not explicitly said. Go back and look to re-edit the sentence In high school, Alexis volunteered at an animal shelter for community service hours and realized that many of the animals were not being adopted and instead, getting euthanized and see if it can be explicitly said that the issue was that animals were being euthanized instead of being adopted.
  • I made a minor edit in the second and third sentence of the intro section. It mentioned a phrase saying something like "mother-and-daughter, Paula and Alexis Fasseas, and the duo..." etc. I thought this was weird to read, so I made a minor editing with the mechanics and I feel like it's cleaner to read. The new phrasing isIt was co-founded in 1997 by Paula Fasseas and her daughter Alexis Fasseas. The duo started the organization to combat the large problems with strays in Chicago.
  • Lastly, it has already been said, but add more to the history section because the time gap between 1997-2013 is too large to not include any significant events.

Overall, you guys have a lot of good material to work with and have done a great job thus far! I think my suggestion will be helpful because readers o Wikipedia, or at least for me, are lazy and wants to read general information that is of my interest and are easy to read. I think tightening up the language, especially mechanically, will excel the written work of this article. I really like the events page implemented. I know for a fact for our article, Hope For The Day, there were tons of major events that were instrumental for the organization. I may think of having an events section for our article page as well.

Edwinjosevega (talk) 01:59, 7 November 2018 (UTC)Reply