Comment by User:Rcox1963 edit

As I wrote in my article on Talk of the Sound, it appears that a campaign worker for Noam Bramson, currently Mayor of the City of New Rochelle, NY and a candidate for Westchester County Executive has created a Wikipedia entry for candidate Bramson. I have documented in my article why I believe that Concretebeachri is a campaign worker for the Bramson campaign. My sense is this is basically campaign literature published as a Wikipedia entry and perhaps out to be scrapped or at least culled to get it down to just the sources, non-promotion, NPOV facts about Noam Bramson without all the puffery and window dressing.

Full disclosure for myself, I am a long-time critic of Mayor Noam Bramson. Because I have just as much of a conflict of interest the Noam Bramson entry I will refrain from making edits to his entry. Instead, I will express my thoughts here and leave it to other editors to improve this entry.

Here is my list of suggested edits, line by line: Collapsed by user:Ross Hill to enhance readability.

Suggested edits

Missing -- add a photograph (official portrait here: http://www.newrochelleny.com/index.aspx?NID=93)

"Noam Bramson (born December 13, 1969) is the Mayor of New Rochelle, New York and has served since being appointed in January 2006 to complete the unexpired term of Mayor Timothy C. Idoni. Bramson was reelected in 2011 with 79% of the vote."

Suggested edit "Noam Bramson (born December 13, 1969) is an American politician. He is Mayor of New Rochelle, New York. He was appointed interim Mayor by the New Rochelle City Council in January 2006 to complete the unexpired term of Mayor Timothy C. Idoni. Bramson won won a special election for Mayor in November 2006. In 2007, Bramson won his first full four-year term and was re-elected to his second full four-year term in 2011.

Suggested edit, remove "with 79% of the vote" -- unsourced, promotional, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic. Add a link to Timothy C. Idoni.

"Bramson grew up in New Rochelle, where he attended Roosevelt Elementary School and Albert Leonard Middle School.Following his graduation from New Rochelle High School in 1987, Bramson went on to Harvard University, where he completed his undergraduate degree in three years, and then received a Masters degree in Public Policy."

Suggested edit, remove references to Bramson's childhood academic career -- unsourced, promotional, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic.

"Bramson was chosen to deliver Harvard's commencement address in 1990.[1]"

Suggested edit, get a better source or remove. Current cited source source [1] is self-referential, it appears to be a a press release from the New Rochelle Chamber of Commerce published on a news aggregator (Westchester.com), the source of the information in the press release appears to be the media relations person who works for the City of New Rochelle of which Noam Bramson is currently the Mayor.

"In 2013 Bramson became the Democratic nominee for Westchester County Executive against incumbent Republican Rob Astorino."

Suggested edit, "was nominated by the Westchester County Democratic Party to be its candidate for Westchester County Executive against incumbent Republican Rob Astorino"

"Since 1992, Bramson has maintained a professional relationship with Congresswoman Nita Lowey"

Suggested edit, "Since 1992, Bramson has served as a paid political consultant and speechwriter for Rep. Nita Lowey (D-NY17)" with a link to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nita_Lowey"

This is sourced in Noam Bramson's wedding announcement in the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2002/05/12/style/weddings-catherine-stern-noam-bramson.html).

Remove "who calls Bramson "an exceptionally talented public servant, who is smart, hard-working, and principled."[2]" as promotional, COI, non-encyclopedic.

"Bramson served on the Boards of numerous civic organizations, including the New Rochelle Campership Fund, the Castle Gallery, the New Rochelle Fund for Educational Excellence, the New Rochelle Council of Community Services, the Westchester Jewish Council, and the United Way of New Rochelle."

Remove entirely -- unsourced, promotional, COI, non-encyclopedic.

"Bramson returned to New Rochelle after college in 1995, and at the age of 25, was elected to New Rochelle City Council. He won his subsequent election bids in 1999 and 2003, garnering more than 70 percent of the vote.[3]"

Suggested edit, remove "garnering more than 70 percent of the vote" -- unsourced, promotional, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic.

"In 2002, Bramson challenged longtime Democratic Assemblyman Ron Tocci, winning the Democratic primary. Tocci switched parties and edged out Bramson in the general election as the Republican candidate.[4]"

Suggested edit ""In 2002, Bramson challenged longtime Democratic Assemblyman Ron Tocci, winning the Democratic primary. Tocci switched parties and defeated Bramson in the general election as the Republican candidate.[4]"

Remove "edged out", replace with "defeated". "Edged out" is not NPOV. "Defeated" is NPOV. Note, Concretebeachri used "defeated" when Noam Bramson defeated two Democrats to win the Democratic Party nomination to be the party's candidate for Westchester County Executive.

"In January 2006, Bramson was appointed as a one-year term of Mayor to complete the unexpired term of Timothy Idoni.[5] Bramson won a special election November 2006 for Mayor. In 2007, Bramson won his first full four-year term and was re-elected in 2011 with 79% of the vote.[6]"

Suggested edit ""In January 2006, Bramson was appointed as a one-year term of Mayor to complete the unexpired term of Timothy Idoni.[5] Bramson won a special election November 2006 for Mayor. In 2007, Bramson won his first full four-year term and was re-elected in 2011.[6]"

Suggested edit, remove "with 79% of the vote" -- promotional, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic.

"As Mayor, Bramson has worked to strengthen New Rochelle’s economy, environment, safety, and quality of life."

Suggested edit, remove entirely -- promotional, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic.

"He attracted new private investment to New Rochelle’s central business district and forged public-private partnerships aimed at job creation and economic growth.[7]"

Suggested edit, remove entirely -- promotional, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic and the source (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/11/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/11rochellewe.html?pagewanted=print&_r=0) does not say, anywhere, that "Noam Bramson attracted new private investment to New Rochelle’s central business district and forged public-private partnerships aimed at job creation and economic growth". In fact, much of what is expected in the 2008 article never came to fruition (LeCount Square project was withdrawn, no building has occurred on the Echo Bay project, Kohl's and Target never opened stores in New Rochelle (and never planned to do so; it was a story concocted by the developer to buy time before he sold out of the project, etc.)

"He has been a strong advocate for thoughtful community and regional planning, spearheaded the creation of New Rochelle’s first Sustainability Plan, promoted efforts to establish new public access to the Long Island Sound shore, and adopted new land use policies to preserve open space and protect neighborhoods from overdevelopment."

Suggested edit, remove entirely -- unsourced, promotional, not-NPOV, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic.

"Bramson has secured grants for critical infrastructure priorities, including the enhancement of major transportation corridors and the rehabilitation of New Rochelle’s playing fields.

Suggested edit, provide sources or remove.

"Bramson has worked in concert with public safety professionals to bring New Rochelle’s crime rate down to a forty-year low."

Suggested edit, rework this, as it stands now it is is unsourced, promotional, not-NPOV, conflict of interest, non-encyclopedic.

"On April 25, 2013, Bramson defeated Westchester County Board of Legislators Chairman Ken Jenkins of Yonkers and Legislator Bill Ryan of White Plains to become the Democratic Party’s nominee for the county’s top office and faces GOP County Executive Rob Astorino in the November 2013 election.[9]"

Suggested edit "On April 25, 2013, Bramson defeated Westchester County Board of Legislators Chairman Ken Jenkins of Yonkers and Legislator Bill Ryan of White Plains to become the Democratic Party’s nominee for the county’s top office. Bramson will challenge Republican Westchester County Executive Rob Astorino in a general election on November 5, 2013.[9]"

Replace "GOP" with "Republican", replace "County Executive" with "Westchester County Executive" and replace "in the November 2013 election" with "in a general election on November 5, 2013"

"Bramson is a second-generation American."

Suggested edit, provide sources.

"His Polish-born parents were refugees during World War II who met in Israel in the 1950s, married, and moved to the U.S."

Suggested edit, provide sources.

Bramson married Catherine (“Catie”) Stern, Ph.D. on May 12, 2002.[10] Stern, a clinical pediatric neuropsychologist, is affiliated with Family Health Associates of White Plains and Manhattan. Their sons, Jeremy and Owen, are both pupils in the New Rochelle public schools. Bramson is an avid foodie, and writes a food blog.

Suggested edit, provide sources. This appears to be promotional, not-NPOV, non-encyclopedic without a source but I could be convinced otherwise. If a "food blog" is referenced it should be linked. "avid foodie" is questionable. — Preceding comment added by Rcox1963 (talkcontribs) 16:21, 10 September 2013 (UTC)Reply

moved from top by user:Ross_Hill
In reply to the below: "Article talk pages should not be used by editors as platforms for their personal views on a subject." By RCox1963's admission, he has extremely strong views on the subject of this page. His comments here would seem to be a violation of the very first rule of talk pages. Additionally, many if not most of his suggested edits appear to strongly reflect his own admitted biases,

Metsofmtkisco (talk) 19:12, 10 September 2013 (UTC) MetsofmtkiscoReply

user:Rcox1963 is using the talk page correctly by suggesting edits. What would not be appropriate is stating your opinion on Miley Cyrus's newest single on talk:Miley Cyrus. A suggestion to user:Rcox1963, insert your signature at the end of your comments with four tildes (~~~~). Thanks! Ross Hill 21:25, 10 September 2013 (UTC)Reply
I believe I have edited the article to make it neutral. If anyone would like to have further edits made, you may be bold and make those edits yourself, or ask me here to make further edits. Best, Ross Hill 21:55, 10 September 2013 (UTC)Reply

Metsofmtkisco (talk) 23:49, 10 September 2013 (UTC) Minor edits made. I do not believe they substantively impact any of the changes made by the previous editor.Reply

Is there anything biased that I have missed? If so, please tell me. I will either oblige you and make further changes, or I willexplain why I have not made those edits. Regards, Ross Hill 00:00, 11 September 2013 (UTC)Reply
Pardon me  . I thought you were saying that my edits didn't impact the bias in the article made by the first editor of the article. Disregard the struck through content. Ross Hill 00:05, 11 September 2013 (UTC)Reply

[[User:RCox1963] (talk) Forgive me as it has been a few years since I last did any editing in Wikipedia and I am a bit forgetful. I certainly agree that I have my own biases and so do not take issue with the comments here in the regard. The important thing is to improve the entry and it appears that progress has been made on that front. If I get the time or energy what I may do is initiate entries for all members of City Council in New Rochelle, at least going back to when they first began having elections by District in 1992. I do not want to bite off more than I can chew. Rcox1963 (talk) 21:26, 12 September 2013 (UTC)RCox1963Reply

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