Talk:Banksia dentata

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Banksia dentata/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 18:30, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

I'll give this a look through. J Milburn (talk) 18:30, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

• The lead feels a little short for an article of this length. Not a problem at GAC, but I'd expand it if you're aiming for FAC.

expanded a bit Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:55, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "dentate" is a little technical for the lead

yeah I find these tricky sometimes - have linked and tried to make it easier to understand Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:57, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

• "cylindrical yellow flower species" Spikes?

d'oh! Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:57, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Genetic studies show it is a basal member (early offshoot) within the series Salicinae." Again, a smidge technical for the lead- especially when it is so short. Another thing to look at before FAC.

tried rejigging to give some context. Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:55, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "before being rubbed off." By what?

rejigged Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:44, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• There's some unexplained jargon in the description- obovate (this is actually linked at about the fourth use), dentate, sinuses, perianth, pistil,

linked... Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:09, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "They contain one or two fertile seeds each, between which lies a woody dark brown separator of similar shape to the seeds." Odd sentence- check singular/plural. How could there be separator if there's only one seed? Can there be?

aah, my bad. There are always two seeds, but sometimes one is small and not fertile - this is true of all banksias Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:49, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "11–14 mm (0.4–0.6 in)-wide" Why the dash before "wide"?

removed Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:44, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Sir Joseph Banks and Dr Daniel Solander," Shouldn't we avoid these kind of titles? I'm not sure.

Good idea - I think that is from long ago...de-titled Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:06, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

• "A local name from the indigenous people of Groote Eylandt in their Enindhilyagwa language is enindurrkwa and from the people of Yirrkala gulpu in the Rirratjingu language." Awkward sentence

rejigged Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:37, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• A thought- when you write "B. dentata's placement within Banksia may be summarised as follows:", perhaps it would be best to say which author you're basing that on.

Flora of Australia (series)]] added Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:51, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Mau" Could we have a link? A redlink if we don't have an article?

redlinked Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:18, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Melville and Bathurst Islands" Melville Island and Bathurst Island are proper nouns that happen to share a second word- you can't really use "Islands" like that. It would be like saying "Manchester and Newcastle Uniteds" to refer to the two football teams.

hmmm, I think of it like writing Turks and Caicos Islands - it doesn't sound funny to me at all - I've streamlined epithets like this alot e.g. X & Y National Parks, -Mountains, - Rivers etc. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:49, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "restiad" Jargon?

linked to Restionaceae nowCasliber (talk · contribs) 08:27, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "a key species in the transition from rainforest to open climate of in the ancestry of the genus" I assume the "of" just needs to be removed, but this doesn't currently make sense

yup, removed. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:49, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "a dryer sunnier climate" I don't know about Australian English, but wouldn't that be "drier"?

d'oh! fixed.... Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:17, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• "Numerous nectar-feeding insects are attracted to the flower spikes, which in turn attract honeyeaters, silvereyes and sunbirds, many of which consume both nectar and insects." Worth naming species? Also, the bird families could do with links

sadly I wish I had species names in sources...but I don't. Have linked to families. Casliber (talk · contribs)

• You've got two separate footnotes making reference to George, Alex S. (1981). "The Genus Banksia L.f. (Proteaceae)". Nuytsia 3 (3): 239–473. Perhaps move this to "cited texts" as with the Alf Salkin thesis?

aaah a hangover from a shoddy cut and paste....will fetch page number promptly. have added a single page to ref now. Seems funny putting a journal in cited texts.... Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:30, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• The formatting on the Parks Australia footnote is very weird.

again, a "cite web" formatting issue. Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:17, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• The Muchlinski citation seems incomplete?

It's an online article - not sure what other parameter to add. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:16, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

• Why have you italicised "Yuruga Native Plant Nursery"? There are a few other examples of odd italicisation (and inconsistent capitalisation) in the references: I'd recommend going through the references with a fine-toothed comb before FAC, as it would be a silly thing to hold up a nomination on!

Aah, it is the "work" parameter in cite web - I use work to mean the site or part of site that the webpage belongs to...tweaked it a little but is tricky without involving a big overhaul of cite format or leaving that parameter blank. I could load it all into the title parameter I guess Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:06, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

Generally very strong. A little jargony in places, but otherwise pretty much ready. Images are fine, no problems with stability. I made a few small changes- please double-check. J Milburn (talk) 19:13, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

your changes are fine Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:06, 5 May 2013 (UTC)

Alright, I've made a couple more small fixes, and I'm now happy to promote. Great work, as ever. J Milburn (talk) 22:18, 6 May 2013 (UTC)

much appreciated :) Casliber (talk · contribs) 01:23, 7 May 2013 (UTC)

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