Talk:Abstinence-only sex education in Uganda

Suggestions

I think having your article removed from orphan status would be the best way to improve your article. As I read through your article, I made a list of possible links you could create; abstinence-only sex education, family planning, STIs, gender inequality, ABC, condoms, monogamy, Yoweni Museveni, and the national youth forum.

A possible addition would be to include what percentage of the population faced HIV/AIDS at its early onset, compare that to Uganda’s low, and then look at how the rate has been rising in current years. One of the big pushes seems to be the use of PIASCY in secondary schools, is the decreasing ineffectiveness due to lack of enrollment in secondary education? You point to the focus on out-of-school programs, but what percentage of the population is enrolled/completes secondary education? Are there any faith based organizations that are against abstinence only, do they have a counter point of view, or do most promote abstinence only? Your article does a great job of providing a lot of information, from a neutral point of view. From your list of potential additions, I feel like your article could benefit from adding the counter point of view of controversy, or expanding upon the gender inequality of abstinence only sex education. Miss Smithington (talk) 18:31, 20 April 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback. I have since added a few sections under controversy. I also added some numbers about population and infection rates to paint a clearer picture and a number of topics are linked now. Thanks again! x U0552803 (talk) 16:25, 26 April 2014 (UTC)

Feedback

You restate the title in the opening paragraph; remove that. Make the "ABC" section more comprehensive. In general, for your subsections, you should title them with the full name of the program and then throughout the information refer to it through acronym. That way, the reader knows what you're talking about. For a second, I thought the CNN section was actually going to be about the news company, CNN. Maybe have the "Controversy" section after or before the "Programs" section. Also, I think you should have a different section for the types of schooling that exist and then within those sections discuss the types of programs being utilized. Ahellebuick (talk) 00:35, 21 April 2014 (UTC)

I removed the title, thanks for catching that. I also expanded that title as it was a tad confusing. I had expanded the controversy section and given it some meat to counteract the measures in place. Thanks for the feedback. U0552803 (talk) 16:26, 26 April 2014 (UTC)

Feedback

The article is very comprehensive and reads well. I agree with the points made above (adding stats on HIV/AIDS before and after the program). There are some minor edits necessary for clarity and reducing wordiness. For example, in the lead paragraph you say: "They have also highlighted the societal effects of socioeconomic discrimination, gender inequality and social stigma as the outcomes of the program in Uganda." This is unclear. Do you mean: "They have also highlighted increased discrimination [against who?], gender inequality and social stigma [stigmatization of who?] as the outcomes of the program in Uganda." Some terms need clarification: zero-grazing (put in quotation marks); "seronegative." I am not sure it is OK to include humor with a straight face in this medium (i.e. Immaculate Conception). Perhaps you can restate: "Since becoming pregnant without sexual intercourse (of the Immaculate Conception kind) is not possible, ...." Also, I think you might incorporate the Nussbaum's capabilities approach (course connection). For example, express the concern about gender inequality in bodily health, whereby the program is an obstacle to the gender equitable promotion of health outcomes (perhaps under "Gender Inequality Consequences"). You have plenty of links now, but could add some more in the latter half of the article. BerikG (talk) 06:48, 27 April 2014 (UTC)

You should remove the words in red. Also, you should capitalize the program titles and add the acronym as part of the title. For example, "Condoms, Needles, Negotiation (CNN)"BerikG (talk) 06:51, 27 April 2014 (UTC) BerikG (talk) 06:52, 27 April 2014 (UTC)