Wikipedia talk:Featured article review/H.D./archive2

Article stats edit

FAC Nominator User:Filiocht

Authorship stats

  1. Ceoil 30.8%
  2. Firefangledfeathers 30.2%
  3. Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius 9.5%

Top editor stats

  1. Ceoil · 679 (54.2%)
  2. Firefangledfeathers · 144 (11.5%)
  3. Victoriaearle · 128 (10.2%)

Stats excerpted as of 23 October 2022

Featured Article Save Award nominations edit

Please set up separate sections for each nomination.

FASA nomination Ceoil edit

I nominate Ceoil for a Featured article save award for improvements to H.D. during its FAR that allowed it to retain its Featured status. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply


Discussion Ceoil edit

  1. Support, thanks as always ! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  2. Support: the steadiest hand on the wheel since the nom in March. A great collaborative editor! Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 01:50, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  3. Support: as nominator of the FAR I could observe the steady and impressive improvements the article experienced under his lead from the start of the FAR process.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 01:56, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  4. Support Hog Farm Talk 02:54, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  5. Support, has been crucial all of this! Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius (talk) 21:12, 25 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  6. Support. Nice job! It's really good to see that H.D. has such a nice page now. You took your time and in my view it paid off. Victoria (tk) 20:01, 27 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  7. Support. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 21:23, 15 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

FASA nomination Firefangledfeathers edit

I nominate Firefangledfeathers for a Featured article save award for improvements to H.D. during its FAR that allowed it to retain its Featured status. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Discussion Firefangledfeathers edit

  1. Support, thanks again ! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  2. Support,Paradise Chronicle (talk) 02:49, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  3. Support Hog Farm Talk 02:54, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  4. Support, FFF has been fantastic! Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius (talk) 21:15, 25 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  5. Support huge, high quality & unflagging work. This would have lagged if not for Firefangledfeathers. Ceoil (talk) 21:41, 25 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  6. Support - mostly per Ceoil. FFF kept it moving, put an enormous amount of work into the reformatting refs, among other things. Was a pleasure to watch. Victoria (tk) 20:01, 27 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  7. Support. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 21:23, 15 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

FASA nomination Victoriaearle edit

I nominate Victoriaearle for a Featured article save award for improvements to H.D. during its FAR that allowed it to retain its Featured status. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Discussion Victoriaearle edit

  1. Support, as always, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  2. Support: invaluable content knowledge. I remember Victoriaearle manifesting the perfect source for a tricky spot (pulled from the great work done at Ezra Pound. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 01:50, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  3. Support:was a surprising pleasure to observe how the article became better, better, and better again! during her collaboration with SG who in my opinion would deserve a nomination as well.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 02:05, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  4. Support Hog Farm Talk 02:54, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  5. Support for both direct edits and guidance and clear headiness on article talk and FAR itself. Ceoil (talk) 21:41, 25 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  6. Support. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 21:23, 15 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

FASA nomination Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius edit

I nominate Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius for a Featured article save award for improvements to H.D. during its FAR that allowed it to retain its Featured status. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Discussion Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius edit

  1. Support, thanks for helping! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:31, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  2. Support, glad it wasn't me that had to tidy up §Works. Excited to have someone on the team with their finger on the pulse of modern H.D. scholarship. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 01:50, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  3. Support Hog Farm Talk 02:54, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  4. Support The edits from the 4th of October especially were just wow. Ceoil (talk) 21:41, 25 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  5. Support - again per Ceoil. It's really exciting to see a specialist jumping to help. Hope to see you around. Victoria (tk) 20:01, 27 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  6. Support. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 21:23, 15 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

FASA nomination Sandy Georgia edit

  1. Support from my point of view SandyGeorgia coordinated the larger part of the whole FAR on H.D. for sure also assisted by Nikkimaria who patiently, but rather resiliently (for months!) kept insisting on updates regarding the FAR on H.D. Was really a pleasure to observe the improvements.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 02:10, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Thanks, but as you can see at the main WP:FASA page, I have declined to accept recognition for my work at FAR ... appreciate the notion anyway! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 02:16, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Ouups. Sorry, I was not aware of such a possibility. I withdraw my nomination for SG.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 02:45, 24 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  2. Support Absolutely, even if the nom is withdrawn and I'm not supposed to ;) Ceoil (talk) 21:41, 25 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

SG comments edit

I'm going to re-start from the top, since my initial review found so much confusion. I understand lead items will be left 'til last, but will list any I see anyway ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:31, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

  • The poem's long-form and wide historical span has been seen as a response to Pound's Cantos, which she admired. In End to Torment she approved of Norman Holmes Pearson's labeling of Helen in Egypt as "her 'cantos'".[65] ... A 20-page range to support this text? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:31, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Lead edit

  • Do we need the word long here? (Don't most writers write into their dotage ?? ... Unsure, asking ... ) "Her long career began in 1911". SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:40, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    • Removed. Too vague to be helpful, and a solid lead will draw attention to the length and many phases of her writing career. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 14:51, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • I suspect when you re-work the lead there will be some rearrangement of clauses ??? "After years of friendship, she developed a romantic relationship with Pound. Their brief engagement was ended by the disapproval of her parents."
    • I removed the engagement line as over-simplifying. Hopefully what's left is not too confusing to stay up until a rewrite. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 14:51, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • OK, I'm not up on the terminology, so take with a grain of salt ... in second lead paragraph ... we first have a lesbian relationship, then we discuss two relationships with men, and then when we hit Freud we first mention bisexuality. Is she bisexual rather than lesbian, and does the first lesbian need to be adjusted (sorry for displaying my ignorance here :) SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:40, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    • The solution here is both a lead rewrite and better body text on her sexuality. No change for now, but this is a pending item that I or someone needs to fix before I'm comfortable with a keep. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 14:51, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Early life edit

  • Decide on comma usage, consistency ... In 1905 Pound and Doolittle began ... followed by ... In 1907, Pound gave SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:46, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • I hate the overused word major like this ... synonym maybe ?? "and played a major role in her development" SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:46, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • She ... She ... She ... three consecutive sentences ... She enrolled at Bryn Mawr College ... She left after three terms ... She became ...

Early life chronology now works for me ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:46, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

  • Fixed the She...she...thing throughout. Ceoil (talk) 21:27, 21 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
Thanks! Sentence structure repetition fixed, I think. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 15:36, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Imagism edit

  • Now more clear that Soho is London, but do we really need to name the restaurant? It causes the reader to stumble ... Eiffel (one thinks Paris), and then Soho, one has to sort whether London or New York ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:55, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • I still don't know what this means, but that's OK (I don't get poetry at all, and I'm not the typical reader): "poetry composed in the sequence of the musical phrase, not in sequence of a metronome." SandyGeorgia (Talk) 14:55, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Now the poem quoted is named :)
    • Incidentally, it was originally untitled! I read it with some friends and everyone understood it differently before knowing it was (eventually) named after a mountain spirit. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 15:43, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

World War I edit

  • she was appointed assistant editor of The Egoist as a substitute for Aldington after he enlisted in the army. ... we just read that he had enlisted, do we need to repeat it? Or can we shorten it to "substitute for the absent Aldington" or some such ? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:19, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • At this point, I expect some detail on the child ?? She became pregnant with Gray's child,[33] ... we find the detail two paragraphs later, but at this point we're left hanging ... some bits from the subsequent paragraph (eg child's name) might be moved up to here ?
    Have added more on Perdita Ceoil (talk) 23:31, 21 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • "while suffering from war influenza." ... do we have to have the Easter egg to Spanish influenza ? Why not just call it what it's known as ? If we can avoid "suffering from", we can avoid a MEDMOS kerfuffle down the road, as someone goes around changing them. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:19, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    I think I fixed these by re-organizing the section and trimming some detail. Let me know if the new chronology works for you. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs)
    Much better. But I see three instances in this one section of "during this time/period" ... vary? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:23, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Novels and psychoanalysis edit

  • Confused about the "three cycles" are ... three poetry cycles in the early 1920s ... Magna Graeca is described, but then we find a list of the following cycles, which includes four items ... what are the other two cycles ... and then we hit the borderline cycle ... this is muddled. I can't tell what the second cycle is. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:27, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Cleared up. Ceoil (talk) 00:10, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Inconstency again in how publication dates are used ... most are written out in text, but ... Palimpsest (1921) and Hedylus (1928) SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:31, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Done, but again, dont speak cite templlate. Ceoil (talk) 00:10, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • There's another muddle in the first paragraph. I can't decipher which couple adopted the child. The flow is all off ... where/when did MacPherson come in to the picture anyway? We move between "couple", "they", "she" in complex relationships without specifying ... The three moved to ?? ... Byhrer and Macpherson adopted ?? H. D. gave up her daughter ?? This is a muddle ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:27, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Cleared up. Ceoil (talk) 00:10, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Now: Bryher divorced McAlmon that year to marry H.D.'s then male lover, Kenneth Macpherson.[46] H.D., Bryher and Macpherson lived and traveled through Europe together in what the New York School poet Barbara Guest termed a "menagerie of three".[47] Macpherson adopted H.D.'s daughter, Perdita, who changed her name to Perdita MacPherson.Ceoil (talk) 21:57, 21 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Redundant wording might be repaired ... the actors were ... acting as wife and husband. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:31, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Now "appearing as..." Ceoil (talk) 21:57, 21 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • This tense seems odd ? She had an interest in Freud's theories since 1909 when she read his works

World War II edit

  • Suddenly, no more MacPherson ... Hilda and Bryher spent World War II in London ...
  • Same muddle of publication dates ... some written out in text, others in parens.
    I'm not used to the introduced cite templates, but ok now I think. Ceoil (talk) 23:32, 21 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • No need for passive voice here ... The first was written while living in London ... She wrote the first while living ...

SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:34, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

  • Rephrased to She wrote the first while Ceoil (talk) 12:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Late work edit

  • was completed between 1952 and 1954 when ... sounds like it was completed in 1954, not 1952 ... and was written between 52 and 4 ?? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:38, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Clarified that its "between" Ceoil (talk) 12:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Suggest splitting this? Based on Euripides' trilogy drama Helen, it imagines Helen of Troy's life after the fall of Troy and her relocation to Egypt, and reconstructs the source material into a feminist reinterpretation,[63][64] and has thus been described as "exploring ... [but] ... concluding" the themes as her earlier work.[62]
    Broken in two. Ceoil (talk) 12:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Is the hyphen needed here? Unsure ? The poem's long-form and wide historical span SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:38, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    No, its two separate works, as in "long poem". Ceoil (talk) 12:41, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Death edit

Nothing ... but I wonder if the short section is needed or if the previous section might be "Later work and death" ... indifferent, personal choice. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:40, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Agree and merged. Had hoped to find more on her death, but ended with just a para. Ceoil (talk) 12:35, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Appraisal edit

  • Long again ... some question as above ... longer than most poets/writers? During her long career, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:50, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • wrote a large number of works ... large compared to other writers? Is that cited ? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:50, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Ah, we encounter this later: " few writers have written so much in their maturity" SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:50, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • All the above seems fine, given she was born in 1886, Spanish flu, a lot of early Modernist poets died young, and she peaked early in critical terms; the fact that she kept on going and produced numerous career high work in her mature period is worth calling out no? Ceoil (talk) 00:24, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Ceoil, yes, I was typing as I went, and eventually came to the part that backed up the long career ... sorry! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:26, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • No prob Sandy; I'm getting stressed as my wiki clock for a few weeks is running out...for good reasons :) Ceoil (talk) 00:36, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Welcome to the club ;) SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:48, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Ha ha. Someday we'll be able to look back and remember good things, but for me the present is always grounded in panic and "need to do lists"! Ceoil (talk) 01:15, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • comprising of the poems ... comprising of ? Unsure, not a grammatical expert ? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:50, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Horrendous actually. Damn it. I think I fixed this earlier...hold on. Ceoil (talk) 00:39, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • For decades her reputation was stuck as an Imagist who ??? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:50, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Removed. Ceoil (talk) 12:49, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Wayward comma? which she feared, affected her public image
    Removed. Ceoil (talk) 12:49, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Any detail on how they did this? including Aldington and D. H. Lawrence, attempted to diminish her importance and consign her to a minor role. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:50, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Will see tonight if this can be expanded upon. Ceoil (talk) 12:49, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Tense change ... challenged .. revise ... According to Hughes, H.D. challenged patriarchal privilege and "revise the mentalities that sponsor them", SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:54, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Tweaked. Ceoil (talk) 12:49, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Tense again ... notes in particular how in Helen in Egypt, she positions Helen as "the protagonist, instead of the pawn", and thus reversing some SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:54, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Tweaked. Ceoil (talk) 12:49, 20 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Legacy edit

  • grammar ... many male writers and poets, including Robert Duncan[83] and have acknowledged their debt.

Done! SandyGeorgia (Talk) 15:55, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Wow! Thank you so much for such a forensic look through. We/I are not there yet, but it seems to have been real ;) Ceoil (talk) 00:41, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
Are we ready to ping in Hog Farm for the next look? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 00:50, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
The call is the mighty Firefangledfeathers, as I'll be gone and they will have to do any further clean up. Ceoil (talk) 00:58, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
I think FFF/EOD had some other things they wanted to clean up first, so I'll hold off ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 01:04, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
I can prob get a few hours next weekend after next, as have sources re sexuality for the lead, the relationship trysts, the emotional support Bryher provided in later years (not well explained now), and the frankly emotional abuse Aldington put her through. Hopefully, we will all get to this in the nest week and a half-ish. Ceoil (talk) 01:24, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
Aldington, Bryher, and sexuality are all things that I think could be beefed up, so I'm glad they're on your radar. I'm happy to be the shepherd for the last bits here and whatever Hog Farm digs up. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 01:29, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
Confused ... do we wait then a week or two for Ceoil to add in those bits, or do we go ahead and ping in Hog Farm now? I want to update the main FAR page as to where we stand ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 02:07, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
I wont get to it tonight, but her relationship with Aldington was significantly poor before and during his service in WWI (both at fault), to the extent that we could say she was then depressed. And perhaps traumatised to an extent that she never really recovered. Which is where Bryher comes in. Ceoil (talk) 01:50, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
ps Firefangledfeathers, its a delight working with you, very impressed, and look forward, but will need 1 -2 weeks Ceoil (talk) 01:52, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
You as well! I understand your work on the above bits will be coming in a bit of time. That works for me! Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 02:01, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply
OOps, never mind my question above ... I see we should wait then ... SandyGeorgia (Talk) 02:08, 22 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Firefangledfeathers, I've got to hop off for a bit to deal with IRL stuff ... once you are through all of this, might you ping Hog Farm for the next set of eyes? Bst, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:06, 19 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

Continuing edit

Harvref error:

  • Quinn, Vincent (Winter 1977). "H. D.'s "Hermetic Definition": The Poet as Archetypal Mother". Contemporary Literature. 18 (1): 51–61. doi:10.2307/1207850. ISSN 0010-7484. JSTOR 1207850. Harv warning: There is no link pointing to this citation. The anchor is named CITEREFQuinn1977.

SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:04, 10 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Which English ? We have realised, traumatised etc but then characterized, criticized. Check throughout needed andd I found no template indicating which to use. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:09, 10 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

HF comments edit

  • Some of the influences seem to be only mentioned in the lead? - Spiritualism, Hermeticism (I don't think it's particularly obvious Hermetic Definition is necessarily drawing from that), Martinism, Ambelain, etc. If these influences are important enough to end up in the lead, shouldn't they be in the body as well?
    • Trimmed for now. I think the article is comprehensive without getting into these specifics, though I don't oppose their re-addition in the body. I doubt the details will ever be due for the lead, which does already summarize her later spiritual influences. Pinging Pseudo-Pseudo-Dionysius, who added the lead line recently. Hope this is okay for now. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 02:47, 12 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
      • Looks much better - agree that this should be in the body rather than the lead if it's in the article. Hog Farm Talk 13:32, 12 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Is it Macpherson or MacPherson?
  • What makes Ramsay 1998 meet WP:SCHOLARSHIP?
  • "Clippinger, David. "Resurrecting the Ghost: H.D., Susan Howe, and the Haven of Poetry" Archived March 4, 2016, at the Wayback Machine. Retrieved September 21, 2020." - looks like Clippinger's personal website. Does Clippinger meet WP:SPS?
    • Clippinger's essay was published in Sagetrieb, one of National Poetry Foundation's journals (in 2014, according to this not-so-official-looking official site). Sagetrieb is crazy hard to find and I can't access the journal version to compare with the website version, but the title's are the same. Let me know if this is a sticking point and I'm sure we can find a work-around. Firefangledfeathers (talk / contribs) 02:47, 12 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
      • Probably fine then, not a show-stopper. Hog Farm Talk 13:32, 12 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

This one's really close to a keep I think. Hog Farm Talk 23:58, 11 October 2022 (UTC)Reply