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Guys named Ralph: If your name is Ralph, well sorry.

Preamble and instruction manual

I'm switching to the first person for this particular article for training purposes.[1] I understand that "gladness and gaiety, especially when expressed by laughter"[2] may be even less common on WP than on death row. Humour on WP is a unique genre. The punchlines are the wikilinks instead of rubber chickens.

Grus antigone showing Ralph how he should make his moves.

If you don't want to read the punchlines, this column in the Signpost will continue to be pointless (and just stupid for others.) Your short journey via wikilink will deposit you somewhere that might surprise you. Wikilinks/punchlines can be pretty funny and just might calm you down enough to avoid your regularly expected appearances on ANI. So, students, if you don't click on the Wikilinks in the humor article you might be missing the punchline.

Raph was a Ralph wannabe. His mom forgot to put the 'l' on the birth certificate.
1/4th of an image of Ralph, fair use, original work, low resolution and used in a parody in the Signpost

Ralph

If your name is Ralph, then I am sorry. Just like chickens, the human name 'Ralph' is sometimes associated with simpletons and buffons. So let's take a ride through wikilinks to discover the wonderful things about 'Ralph'.

  • Ralph and Alph – brothers who liked to torture Eddie Albert.
  • Ralf – this is the way Ralphs write their names if they are Dutch, German or Swedish.
  • Rafe – a rare name for Ralphs if they are English, Scandinavian, or and German. It means a cisgender individual who has accepted their x and y chromosome and prefers the pronoun 'he'.
  • Raoul – the French form of Ralph. French is a totally classy language, n'est pas?
  • Ralph – a fictional, yellow, and animated Ralph who is[3] a student at Springfield Elementary School, the future Police Chief of Springfield and a 2008 presidential candidate that was endorsed by both parties.
  • Ralph broke the internet – you can watch it happen for about $11 at least that is what it costs in Pittsburgh.
  • Ralph – this is the disambiguation page for Ralph. It's the longest one I've ever seen and needs to be transformed into a list article.
  • Ralph doin' the crane – this Ralph kicked butt all the way through three movies beginning in 1984.
  • Ralph – this Ralph didn't like how his Chevrolet Corvair handled and only drove it up to ten miles per hour since it was Unsafe at Any Speed. He graduated from Harvard to become a cook in the US army.
  • Bad Ralph – this Ralph is an 8th cousin to Prince Charles and was bad guy without a nose that hunted down little wizards but still managed to receive a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actor. His little brother is a decent Shakespeare.
  • Ralph, aka "Bucky" – a very, very bad Ralph who shot NY troopers but still clever enough to escape at least one confinement by using a can opener to exit through the corrugated roof over the jail's kitchen.
  • Ralph – this Ralph is part of the Calgary Stampeders, a franchise of Canadian Football League. He starts every single game. He's been accused of promoting bad blood and poor sportsmanship.
  • Ralph the Great – being great probably was just a polite title since this Ralph pillaged Joigny until his girlfriend was allowed to get back in touch with him.
  • Ralph – he is very much 'into' women's clothing and driving very fast cars though probably not at the same time.
  • Ralph the Timid – this Ralph lived a long time ago and may have had some serious family issues. His grandfather was Æthelred the Unready, his uncle was Edward the Confessor. When he was just a little Ralph, the French kids made of him.
  • Ralph the Werewolf – this Ralph was a former human who was transformed by a food additive which made him quite cranky. Pretty sure what he ate was also a GMO.
  • Ralphs – a term that does not mean a plurality of Ralphs, but instead a place where you can hear, "Eugene, clean up in aisle 4!"
  • Ralphs Bay, Ralphs Falls – places Ralph discovered.
  • Ralph the minor angel – this Ralph doesn't hold a prominent position in the ranks of the Enochian angels since he is next in line after Raagiosl, King of the Water Tablet.
  • Ralph Kramden – a character from The Honeymooners television show. Jackie Gleason just loved screaming his name.
  • Journal of Ralph – all the 'Ralphs' have a publication that helps to disseminate scholarly research related to all things 'ralph'. Case studies are the major focus though the graphics are tasteless.

See also

Optional comments, notes and references

  1. ^ Writing in the first person is pretty uncomfortable as a content creator. Things will improve as I become more active on contentious talk pages.
  2. ^ see the disambiguation on mirth
  3. ^ It makes me crazy to describe a fictional character in the present tense as if it were a real person. Are you listening Wikipedia:WikiProject Fictional characters? You all are semi-active anyway and too busy watching 'The Simpsons' re-runs. If you'd stop watching the reruns, perhaps you wouldn't be semi-active.