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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Lisa Nowak

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Gog the Mild (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 22:14, 15 February 2021 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Lisa Nowak

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Instructions for nominators and reviewers

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Lisa Nowak (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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Another article on an astronaut. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:32, 30 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Image review—pass
Comment by Buidhe

Although the 2007 incident is a significant event, it is unlikely to have attracted any media coverage if Nowak wasn't already known for being an astronaut. The current size of this section (1,800 words out of a bit more than 5,000 about her life in the body text) seems a UNDUE in that context. (t · c) buidhe 07:38, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Not only would it not have attracted media coverage, but Nowak probably wouldn't even have been charged. The saddest cases are the ones drummed out of the services for PTSD, and then denied medical treatment. I have to respect the hard work of other editors, but I have expanded the rest of the article to give it more balance. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:31, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

NB: The appearance of this article on the front page in the Did You Know? column garnered 36,330 page views, making it one of the all-time page view leaders. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 22:53, 28 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Eddie891

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Added to my list Eddie891 Talk Work 00:08, 6 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's it from me-- really interesting, well done article on the whole. All of my comments are, as always, suggestions rather than orders, open to discussion. Cheers, Eddie891 Talk Work 23:14, 8 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:50, 9 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Now satisfied with the prose, happy to support Eddie891 Talk Work 01:51, 9 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Text review by Neopeius (support as of 12-12-20)

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Lede

*"in over 30 different aircraft, and was" Commas are unnecessary before dependent clause (and there are many places in the article appropriately without such commas, so this should be fixed to be consistent as well as grammatically correct). Delete or make ", and she was"

Early life and education

I won't press the point, but the MOS note you reference refers to actual quotations. 'Nowak' is closer to the "simple gloss" exception.--Neopeius (talk) 19:37, 12 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

*"writing a thesis on "Computational Investigations of a NACA 0012 Airfoil in Low Reynolds Number Flows"." Use italics for article title rather than quotes (same reasoning; also, publications later in article are italicized)

Astronaut training

*"she was one of 150 finalists deemed highly qualified, and was asked" ", and she was asked"

Space Flight

*"and her classmate Stephanie Wilson would" add commas before and after Stephanie Wilson

Homecoming *"They attended X Games XII at the Home Depot Center in Los Angeles from August 3 to 6, and the Houston Astros game at Minute Maid Park on August 14. The crew got to meet" Suggest "on August 14, where the crew got to meet"

Altercation

*"Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando, Florida, on February 4–5, 2007." This sentence comes out of nowhere (even if you move the paragraph regarding her marriage from the prior section to here). Suggest reversing the order (start with the date) and add "with the intention of confronting Shipman." (and possibly injuring, killing, or kidnapping her, but the only ultimate charge was burglary and battery so you don't need to give any more context. :) )

Arraignment

  • While arguing for pre-trial release Nowak's attorney remarked, "One's good works must count for something". Put period before quote.
    checkY Moved. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:02, 8 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "There was widespread reaction to Nowak's arrest with concerns expressed" Add "public" before "reaction"
    checkY Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:02, 8 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "For her work as a member of the crew of STS-121, NASA announced on May 30, 2007, that Nowak would receive the NASA Space Flight Medal at Johnson Space Center on June 5, 2007.[93]" This should go elsewhere, perhaps "After NASA" or an Awards section.
    checkY Moved. Some people were surprised that she was still awarded the medal. I was more surprised that she was awarded full custody of the three kids. (Those daughters are chips off the old block.) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:02, 8 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

After NASA

*"A Naval administrative panel of consisting of" delete first "of"

In Popular Culture

*"Rocket Man" italicize

@Hawkeye7: Fantastic work. Very few changes needed. I would ask that, before I work on Shuttle-Centaur that you do a search for any commas before dependent clauses and either delete them or make them independent clauses (generally by adding a pronoun) as required. That would make my editing much easier. Thank you! :) --Neopeius (talk) 22:47, 7 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:03, 8 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hawkeye7: Support --Neopeius (talk) 19:46, 12 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - pass

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Claiming. Hog Farm Talk 16:37, 3 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Ref numbers are from this revision, although I'll also try to provide some context to help clarify which references I am referring to.

Spot checks coming later. Hog Farm Talk 17:37, 3 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Spot checks at User:Hog Farm/spot checks/Lisa Nowak. A couple things, but overall satisfactory. Hog Farm Talk 04:20, 4 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much Hog. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 06:34, 4 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Passing on sourcing. Hog Farm Talk 14:07, 4 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Supporting by Sturmvogel_66

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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