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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/James Allen Ward

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Hawkeye7 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 09:20, 9 March 2020 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

James Allen Ward edit

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Nominator(s): Zawed (talk)

James Allen Ward (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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Turning now to New Zealand VC recipients of the Second World War, in 1941 James Ward was a co-pilot on a bombing raid to Germany when he did some wing-walking to put out an engine fire, which earned him the VC. He died on a bombing raid later that year. I have expanded the article in recent weeks and it has just gone through a GA review. I look forward to the feedback of reviewers for this one. Zawed (talk) 09:36, 10 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support Great work as usual Zawed. I have only minor comments:

  • Most of the sentences in the second para of the lead start with 'he': I'd suggest tweaking this
  • I have tweaked the lead in a couple of places, how is it now? Zawed (talk) 07:33, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • RNZAF Taieri should probably be red-linked (I've red-linked a couple of notable training units)
  • Do we know why the RNZAF returned the medals? Was this part of the fall-out from the theft of medals from the NZ Army museum?
  • No, it was a year before the theft. I found another source that states they were actually on loan to the RNZAF for a while before being returned to the family. I have clarified this in the article now. Zawed (talk) 07:33, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The second external link looks to be to an image already in the article Nick-D (talk) 06:04, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Have removed the link now. Nick-D, thanks for the review comments, I have responded as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 07:33, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

CommentsSupport by CPA-5 edit

  • teacher when the Second World War began Link Second World War.
  • completing flight training in New Zealand, traveled to England Not "travelled"?
  • Opps, should be British English, so travelled. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the summer of 1941, he was posted to No. 75 Squadron Try to avoid seasons here.
  • on a subsequent bombing mission to Germany Pipe Germany to Nazi Germany.
  • in Wanganui, New Zealand, to Percy and Ada Ward No née?
  • Not here. Unfortunately, none of the sources I have provide his mother's maiden name. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • at Wanganui Technical College and after graduation, trained as a teacher in Wellington Teacher in what?
  • Another one that is not covered in the sources. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • when the Second World War broke out Link WWII here again.
  • he departed for England aboard the Aorangi What kind of ship was she?
  • A troopship, have added. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • 30 Vickers Wellington bombers purchased by the New Zealand Government --> "30 Vickers Wellington bombers purchased by the New Zealand government" Capitalising "government" is mostly archaic.
  • I didn't know that. Have reverted to lower case. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Zawed: Well at least it is as far as I know archaic, maybe it's not in New Zeeland (and maybe Australia too). So if you find a source which says it's not archaic in New Zeeland then I never mind what I just said. :) Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 21:00, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • the permission of the New Zealand Government Same as above?
  • as a second pilot to Squadron Leader R. Widdowson No full first name?
  • CPA-5, presumably this won't affect your support but this was bugging me so I went to a library and was able to locate a source for first names of both Widdowson and Lawton. This has been added to the article now. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:25, 3 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not in the sources I have. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • a Canadian, on a bombing mission to Düsseldorf in Germany Pipe Germany to Nazi Germany.
  • Over the next few weeks, he flew six more bombing missions accompanying Widdowson All to Germany?
  • The sources don't explicitly say this, but most probably. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • was attacked by a German Bf 110 night fighter Sea of blue here, maybe unlink German here because we linked it before.
  • starboard wing and caused a fire in the wing Which wing?
  • It was the starboard - I have removed the second usage of wing, the following reference to the starboard engine makes clear it is still the starboard wing. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • astrodome with the navigator, Sergeant L. Lawson of the RNZAF No full first name?
  • As with Widdowson, I don't have this information. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • They subsequently become prisoners of war. The remaining crew and Ward were still in the aircraft and were killed when it crashed near Hamburg --> "They subsequently become prisoners of war and the remaining crew and Ward were still in the aircraft and were killed when it crashed near Hamburg"? And link POW.
  • I have rephrased this section, how does it read now? (have linked prisoners of war as well) Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unbeknown to Ward, a liaison officer at the Air Ministry What's a liaison?
  • I think in this context it means a communications officer. I have replaced with official. Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • the New Zealand Government that he be returned to New Zealand Same as above.

That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 16:25, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

CPA-5, thanks for the thorough feedback, much appreciated. I have responded to your comments as above and my edits are here. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:29, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Image review - pass edit

All images are appropriately licenced, positioned and captioned. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:01, 3 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Gog! Zawed (talk) 01:43, 4 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Suppory by Pendright edit

Greetings, Zawed! I have a few omments/questions. Pendright (talk) 02:00, 5 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead:

  • ... climbing out onto the wing of his Wellington [bomber or aircraft] to extinguish an engine fire that started as a result of a night fighter attack.
Consider adding [bomber or aircraft] after Wellington.

Early life:

  • Having qualified in 1939, he had just accepted a position at Castlecliff School in Wanganui when the Second World War broke out.
Consider: Having qualified "as a teacher" in 1939, or, accepted a "teaching" position.

Training:

  • Ward qualified as a pilot on 18 January 1941 and promoted to sergeant shortly thereafter and at the end of the month, he departed for England aboard the Aorangi.
Add a comma after thereafter and remove the comma after month - the result is two independent clauses properly joined by a comma and a coordinated conjunction.
  • Ward was selected as a result of winning a coin toss between himself and Kimpton.
Would Kimpton and himself be the more proper sequence?
  • Have reversed the order. Zawed (talk) 10:06, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

75 Squardron:

  • No. 75 Squadron, despite being a Royal Air Force unit, was actually formed around a core of RNZAF flying personnel present in England prior to the outbreak of the Second World War to take delivery of 30 Vickers Wellington bombers purchased by the New Zealand Government.
This is about a 46 word sentence - a little long. If breaking it up is not an option for you, then perhaps you could join the two independent clauses with the proper punctuation.
  • I have trimmed this down a little. It involved rephrasing the previous paragraph to introduce the RAF abbreviation. Zawed (talk) 10:06, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The sixth mission and final mission Ward flew with Widdowson took place on 7 July, a raid on Münster.
  • Consider deleting the word mission when first used.
  • Whoops, that is a bit of a howler! Fixed. Zawed (talk) 10:06, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Replace the comma after July with a semcolon - a raid on Münster is an independent clauses.
  • The attack opened a fuel tank in the starboard wing and caused a fire, around the rear of the starboard engine.
  • Remove the comma after fire and place it after wing, resulting in two clean independent clauses.
  • He crawled out through the astrodome on the top of the fuselage, on the end of a rope.
The phrase "on the end of a rope" doesn't seem to fit. Maybe, holding on to a rope, or secured by a rope, or something similar.
  • Went with secured by a rope. Zawed (talk) 10:06, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • By this means he reached the engine and attempted to smother the flames with a canvas cover.
By this means sems redundant?
  • Ward, now exhausted, gingerly made his way back to the astrodome with the navigator, Sergeant Joe Lawson of the RNZAF, keeping tension on the rope tethered to Ward and assisting [him] back into the aircraft.
Consider adding [him] as bove.
  • Although the cover shortly blew away by the slipstream, the remnants of the fire had burnt itself out and the plane was now safe.
Link slipstream
  • Kay also recommended Widdowson for the Distinguished Flying Cross and Sergeant Allan Box, another airman in the RNZAF who was the tail gunner of Ward's aircraft and had shot down the attacking night fighter with his counterfire, for the Distinguished Flying Medal.
Consider this: Kay also recommended Widdowson for the Distinguished Flying Cross and Sergeant Allan Box for the Distinguished Flying Medal. Box was the tail gunner of Ward's aircraft and had shot down the attacking night fighter with his counterfire.

Finished - Pendright (talk) 02:00, 5 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Pendright, many thanks for stopping by and reviewing this. You made suggestions that really improve the narrative flow (and picked up a couple of howlers) which I have incorporated. Thanks again. Zawed (talk) 10:06, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Zawed: My pleasure! Happy to support - Pendright (talk) 19:59, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - pass edit

G'day, I reviewed this at GAN and can see that it has been improved further since then. I have only looked at sources given that other reviewers have given it the full treatment. I have a couple of minor observations: AustralianRupert (talk) 01:13, 9 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • sources appear to be consistently formatted to me (no action required)
  • ext links all work (no action required)
  • there are no dab or dup links (no action required)
  • suggest adding alt text to the images: [1]
  • alt captions added to all images. Zawed (talk) 08:47, 9 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hi AustralianRupert, it is not published by the association but both it and its chairman are part of the website, according to the thanks page. I use the website to support the mention of the medals being lent to the RNZAF until 2006. I could rephrase this portion of the article to remove mention of the loan if you think the website should go. Zawed (talk) 08:37, 9 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • G'day, given the linkages you raise above, it is probably ok. If the chairman of the association is involved, I'm sure that there would be some editorial oversight. The information you are citing is pretty trivial, too, so I am not too concerned. Thanks for looking into this. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 08:44, 9 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks for the support! Zawed (talk) 08:50, 9 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • information seems comprehensive based on my searches (no action required)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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