Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/British nuclear tests at Maralinga
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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British nuclear tests at Maralinga edit
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When Nuclear weapons and the United Kingdom was promoted as a Good Topic, Reywas92 noted that this article, although graded as a Good Article, was below standard, and encouraged me to clean it up. I have now done so, adding some text and I dug up some maps and photographs. Since it is already a Good Article, I am bringing it here for review. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:43, 30 November 2019 (UTC)
Support Comments:
edit
G'day, Hawkeye, I caught a few typos and have the following suggestions: AustralianRupert (talk) 09:42, 1 December 2019 (UTC)
- per WP:LEAD, the should probably only be four paragraphs
- who did even supply him with a vehicle for his own use for three years -- is there something missing from this?
- The desert was inhabited by wanampi --> "According to local custom" (or something similar)?
- Are you implying that the locals attributed acts of God to wanampi? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:04, 3 December 2019 (UTC)
- G'day, my concern is the way it is worded currently seems to imply that it is a fact that such spirits inhabit the desert, when surely it is a religious belief held by the local inhabitants, which was then used to create a narrative as part of the IO campaign? AustralianRupert (talk) 08:42, 3 December 2019 (UTC)
- I was only following the sources. The article is agnostic on whether wanampi exist, but they are the received wisdom of the elders, who back up their claim to know a thing or two with a proven ability to survive in the desert. Changed to: "The desert was said to be inhabited by wanampi". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
- No worries, that change looks fine to me. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 09:31, 5 December 2019 (UTC)
- I was only following the sources. The article is agnostic on whether wanampi exist, but they are the received wisdom of the elders, who back up their claim to know a thing or two with a proven ability to survive in the desert. Changed to: "The desert was said to be inhabited by wanampi". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:33, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
- G'day, my concern is the way it is worded currently seems to imply that it is a fact that such spirits inhabit the desert, when surely it is a religious belief held by the local inhabitants, which was then used to create a narrative as part of the IO campaign? AustralianRupert (talk) 08:42, 3 December 2019 (UTC)
- Are you implying that the locals attributed acts of God to wanampi? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:04, 3 December 2019 (UTC)
- the RAF and Royal Navy issued a Operational Requirement --> "an Operational Requirement"?
- had a measurable effect it the UK --> "had a measurable effect in the UK"
- study concluded that "Overall, the doses... --> probably could silently decap "Overall" here
- caption "Cutting a temporary Access Road from Watson to Tietkens Well" --> "Cutting a temporary access road from Watson to Tietkens Well"?
- plutonium is overlinked in the Media coverage section
CommentsSupport by CPA-5
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- ranging from 1 to 27 kilotonnes of TNT (4.2 to 113.0 TJ) Round the nought.
- I see a mix of metric and Imperial units as primary units I believe Imperial should be the primary units here.
MOS:UNITS: In all other articles, the primary units chosen will be SI units, non-SI units officially accepted for use with the SI, or such other units as are conventional in reliable-source discussions of the article topic This includes ktTNT and curies. Hunted down a couple of stray convert templates missing the flip parameter. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:46, 7 January 2020 (UTC)
- from 1 to 27 kilotonnes of TNT (4.2 to 113.0 TJ) TJ for joule? I thought that the J symbol is the official symbol?
- One Tree (12.9 kilotonnes of TNT (54 TJ)) and Breakaway (10.8 kilotonnes of TNT (45 TJ)) Can you first explain to the readers that those 7 bombs had names because when I read this I was so confused first.
- completed in 2000 at a cost of $108 million Which dollar, American or Australian? And link it too.
- Australian Government vs Australian government
- with a detonation on 15 October 1953 Remove 1953 because it is already mentioned "a year later".
- were confident that the desired 11 megalitres (2.5×106 imp gal) per annum No US gal and link megalitres?
- This was estimated to cost £53,000 to construct British or Australian pound?
- 1 kilolitres per day (3,000 US gal/d) Cleaver-Brooks thermocompression No Imperial gal and why have Cleaver-Brooks both upper cases?
- of cable weighed about 1 tonne (1 long ton) Link both tons.
- MOS:UNITNAMES: Units unfamiliar to general readers should be presented as a name–symbol pair on first use, linking the unit name. But these are common units. MOS:OVERLINK: Common units of measurement, e.g. units relating to time, temperature, length, area, or volume. If both non-metric and metric equivalents are provided, as in 5 centimetres (2.0 in), usually neither unit needs to be linked, because almost all readers will understand at least one of the units. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:46, 7 January 2020 (UTC)
- Some instrument bunkers contained 3.0-metre (10 ft) steel cubes Round the nought here.
- special Maralinga allowance of 16 shillings per day Link shillings.
- at a height of 150 metres (490 ft) at 15:27. The yield was 3 kt What's kt?
- US facilities in the near future remote. [85] Remove the unnecessary space.
- and announced at the US-UK talks in Bermuda in March 1957 Link Bermuda.
- of natural and depleted uranium, 0.98 kg of plutonium of which 0.58 kg was dispersed No metric units?
- contaminated with 20 kg of plutonium. Another 2 kg of plutonium Same as above.
- square kilometres vs km².
- would receive an effective dose of 5 mSv/a What's a mSv/a?
- servicemen suffering from two specific conditions, leukemia Is leukemia Australian English and not leukaemia?
- Pp errors in the following refs, 16 and 160.
That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 15:59, 7 January 2020 (UTC)
Source review—pass edit
- Location missing on Broinowski, Richard (2003)
- Most of the sources are quite strong, and the weaker sources are only used for non-controversial details here and there.
- Ref 163, "Do atomic test victims deserve compensation? Archived 12 June 2011 at the Wayback Machine" should have original publication date + work
- Ref 176, ""Archived copy". Archived from the original on 25 March 2018. Retrieved 10 July 2017." also needs more information.
- No source checks done buidhe 04:59, 15 January 2020 (UTC)
CommentsSupport by PM
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Phew, a serious article. I can't say I have a clue about the technical stuff, but have a few comments:
- Lead
- in the first sentence, I suggest using "were conducted" instead of "occurred" as they were planned and conducted, they didn't just occur
- the lead mentions seven tests between 1956 and 1963, but the seven tests that are then explained only occurred in 1956 (4) and 1957 (3)? Am I missing something?
- suggest "Three tests were conducted: Tadje (0.93 kilotonnes of TNT (3.9 TJ)), Biak (5.67 kilotonnes of TNT (23.7 TJ)) and Taranaki (26.6 kilotonnes of TNT (111 TJ)). The first two tests were conducted from towers, while the last was suspended from balloons."
- suggest consistency in describing major tests and minor trials, rather than describing the Kittens as tests
- Done. The two were used interchangeably at the time (as the article describes) but I think this is a good idea.
More to come. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 11:53, 20 January 2020 (UTC)
- drop the comma after "two four-wheel drive trucks by"
- suggest "On 2 August 1954, the High Commissioner of the United Kingdom to Australia lodged a formal request for a permanent proving ground for a series of nuclear tests expected to be conducted over the course of the next decade,..."
- "a mallee, spinifex and quandong" missing a noun here I think?
- "to the forward area where were bombs were detonated" were→the?
- "The bunker work proceeded so well that the task force was able to assist with its pit excavation work." whose work was the pit excavation? Perhaps mention that here?
- "In June, he ordered the surveyors" he=the range commander? It isn't clear.
- Range Commander→range commander
- "and additional leave of days per month" how many days?
- generoud→generous
- "could see so issues" no?
- perhaps italicise wanampi?
- suggest "was
alarge and cumbersome, being 7.3 metres..." - weighed 3,000 metres?
- RAF in full then in parens at first mention in the body
- rather than Aldermaston, perhaps AWRE given you've bothered to provide the initialisation?
- test (, and after
- suggest "between Brisbane in Queensland and Lismore in New South Wales"
- link No. 49 Squadron RAF
- "atomic bomb. it fell about" needs a capital I
- "at a height of 150 metres" detonated?
- suggest "Darwin in the Northern Territory and Newcastle in New South Wales"
- full stop after "with another major test series in September and October"
- "until the Australians objected"?
- "Helping Pixie remain on the schedule" which test was done with Pixie? It isn't clear until you get to the table.
- cancelled the diring
- the following day, but morning fig until 10:00? typo and is missing something
- lightening→lightning
Down to Minor trials. More to come. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:45, 21 January 2020 (UTC)
- was the "Defence Scientific Advisor" Australian or British?
- "Polonium-2l0 is an alpha" also this has a typo, looks like 2I0 rather than 210?
- "minor trails"
- "see so issues"
- where was the Kuli area?
- what does "TM100 and TM101" mean?
- where was the Dobo area?
- "The Rat tests 180 kilograms" seems to be missing a word or two?
- "400 curies (15,000 GBq) of polonium-210, an alpha emitter with a half-life of 138 days" we have already been told it is an alpha emitter and the half life
- "There were about assuring" They?
- where was the Wewak area?
- "readied for experiments broke
nfree"
Down to Closure. More to come. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 05:48, 22 January 2020 (UTC)
- "had led to the development of the Christmas Island site"?
- suggest consistency between clean up and cleanup when used as an adjective
- A Technical Assessment Group (TAG) as TAG is used later
- (five times that allowed for a member of the public) but Aboriginal people are members of the public, so perhaps reword this?
- performed
byat the Adelaide Festival - Oak→Oak Valley
That's me done. Great job on this. I knew Christobel Mattingley, and her husband taught me history. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:52, 23 January 2020 (UTC)
Hi Nikkimaria, would you mind taking a look at the image licensing please? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 20:33, 23 January 2020 (UTC)
Image review edit
- File:AusNucTestSites.svg should include a source for test location coordinates
- File:Emu_to_Maralinga_Road_0117.svg similarly should include a source
- No idea where this is from. I suppose we could ping @Summerdrought:. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:29, 24 January 2020 (UTC)
- File:Buffalo_R4_001.jpg: source link is dead, is there an alternate source to confirm licensing?
Nikkimaria (talk) 00:42, 24 January 2020 (UTC)
- Hi Nikkimaria is this good to go? Thanks, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 05:56, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
- Just waiting on a source for File:Emu_to_Maralinga_Road_0117.svg. Nikkimaria (talk) 11:30, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
- Well, we don't have it and it is impossible to get it. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:45, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
- So, will you delete it, or can it be shown that it is consistent with possible source maps? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:30, 23 February 2020 (UTC)
- The map is derived from the one of the Oodnadatta Track in Stoffel, Frank. Great Desert Tracks Atlas and Guide. Eight Mile Plains, Queensland: Hema. ISBN 978-1-876413-63-7.. I've removed it from the article. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:24, 23 February 2020 (UTC)
- So, will you delete it, or can it be shown that it is consistent with possible source maps? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:30, 23 February 2020 (UTC)
- Well, we don't have it and it is impossible to get it. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:45, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
- Just waiting on a source for File:Emu_to_Maralinga_Road_0117.svg. Nikkimaria (talk) 11:30, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.