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Wikipedia:WikiProject Articles for creation/Help desk/Archives/2015 December 11

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December 11

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13:05:26, 11 December 2015 review of submission by Johi92

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Johi92 (talk) 13:05, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Johi92: Do you have a specific question about this draft? Thanks, /wia /tlk 13:50, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I have looked at that draft, and (as well as the faults mentioned by the reviewer), it leaves the reader with no understanding of what it is about. It seems to centre on "courts", which are rooms, or venues, in which some activity, possibly a game, happens. This all needs explaining. Maproom (talk) 08:46, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

16:46:46, 11 December 2015 review of submission by Simone Hancox

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Please can you check my new changes to page Jeremy Houghton and advise on how I can neaten it up? Thanks.

Simone Hancox (talk) 16:46, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

You need to convert all the citations to use one of Wikipedia's approved styles. I have done the first one for you, to show you how. Maproom (talk) 08:54, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Request on 23:25:37, 11 December 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by DingoFrisky

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Hello! I have been working on creating a page for the company I work for, and my intentions are the best. In no way am I trying to pass it off as an advertisement, just trying to be fair.

I have done several revisions stripping out words and phrases that could be construed as not being neutral, but it keeps getting rejected (one time for Notability, but otherwise because it sounds like advertising). I also linked to news reports for any statements of fact that were made.

Like I said, I just want us to have a neutral entry, and in no way am I trying to game the system. I don't want to get anyone else in trouble, but one company similar to us has a page that reads like a press release, so it is doubly frustrating to me.

I would love some specific guidance on key phrases to avoid and reliable sources to cite.

Thank you very much for your time!

DingoFrisky (talk) 23:25, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@DingoFrisky: Hi, and welcome to the Help Desk. Some of the language in this draft does not comply with Wikipedia's neutral point of view policy. Please avoid the use of buzzwords like "transaction-driven verticals", "marketing automation" and "predictive models to optimize", to start. I have no idea what they mean, and I suspect the lay reader won't either. In many ways the key to writing well on Wikipedia is to strip out the fanciful language and write in an unexciting, "just-the-facts" tone. Thanks, /wia🎄/tlk 17:29, 14 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

23:27:41, 11 December 2015 review of submission by 174.127.131.146

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Just trying to find out more about the significant notability aspect. I linked to multiple independent reliable sources. Is the company just not big enough? Just a wee bit more info. would be appreciated. Thank you! 174.127.131.146 (talk) 23:27, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I have left you a more detailed comment on the draft. Notability is unrelated to size. Fiddle Faddle 14:41, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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